Would a man mind if his girl offered to split the cost of the engagement/wedding bands or if she covered most if not all of her ring?

[meetkitty123]

I am no where in the position of being in a situation where I get the joy of picking out rings. However ever since my brush with death in my dual truck accident I been reconsidering life. The things I've done and what I want. I also have been plagued with pain nightmares and mini nervous breakdown or panic attacks.

During a recent panic I pulled my car over to relax. I looked up and it happened to be in front of a mall I had bought my engagement ring. Feeling nostalgic needing to relax I went in to the store. There were many memories which washed over me. Good and bad.

I stopped at the ring styles I always wanted. During my first engagement He would have bought it for me had I asked but I didn't dare to. He even implied "that's the one you want isn't it"

I horrifyingly shook my head no in shock. A lie yes but I was very apprehensive at the idea of asking for something so costly with not contributing anything to it. It would have eaten at my conscience. We picked a set which ran significantly less.

Staring at the certain rings I realized I still want what those rings stands for... A forever and happily ever after. A partner whos my equal. I want someone who we balance each others and equally contribute to one anothers needs.

I also realized I'm not the same girl as then. I'm wiser at putting cash a side and I'm more confident. This time I can turn to a man I love and confidently say to him that's the one I want and I'll help pay for it.

My previous husband would have been offended by this. Though he was much older than me and from a different custom.

Do people considered it rude to A pick out one's own ring?

B would it be rude to offer to help pay especially because their requesting a certain ring which may run a bit steep?

As for me I've made up my mind lol that's the ring I want... I don't have the man to go with it yet but I'm hoping to find him! 🤣... And he doesn't have to worry I'll buy it if he can't afford it and then his as well!

A) Yes he would mind.

B) No he wouldn't mind.

C) Depends... I'll explain

[Anonymous]

1. It is not rude to pick out your own ring if you do that in collaboration with him. For many guys, he ring is a gift and a token of their love and having you pay for it takes away from the idea that it is a gift from them.

The budget for a ring should be discussed openly, if money is a concern at all. I recently purchased an engagement ring (about 4 weeks ago) and I knew what style she wanted: a siimple yellow-gold solitaire setting with a diamond ring. I know that she would have been content with a lesser ring and may have even tried to persuade me to spend less money on her (she grew up under very austere conditions and does not like to spend money on herself.) So I purchased a ring before I proposed, and it looks very similar to this:

I would not have bought a ring if I did not know exactly what she wanted; the only variable was the size and quality of the damond

2. You should absolutely shop for the ring that you want but bear in mind that mall jewelty stores tend to have very high prices, and most jewelry stores order their merchandise from the same catalogs, so other stores can get the ring that you want, and perhaps at a substantial savings. Independently owned stores that are free-standing (not in a mall or shopping center) tend to have the best prices. I found the ring you have shown above on sale for $699 at Macy's. Independent stores will also negotiate on their prices. The ring I purchased was as much as $7,000 at a mall jewelry store but I purchased it for $4,000 from the independent jeweler.

3. It is the bride's obligation to provide a weddng band for the groom. Imagine if he told you that he would pay for it because he wanted more than you could afford. Whatever that might make you feel, it would not be a good feeling.

[meetkitty123]

The one I desire isn't the one with the price tag. The price tag is to show how much Levians can go for. I have followed the price on the rings. They certainly do drop depending on the season and where they are bought. Black Friday deal help and so does mother's days or valentines day. This isn't exactly the season to shop.
Anyhow I asked my question to get a sense of what the average man thought. I briefly dated someone some time ago who eventually said he wanted marry me. It was more hypothetical for me but for kicks we went over rings. He was extremely particular about what he wanted as his and what he would want to receive. When I showed him mine I was shot down immediately based on the price. It was odd to me I was to get him exactly what he wanted (that's if I was to marry him) and I had to settle for whatever he could "afford" which wasn't much despite my willingness to pay the difference. Anyways that relationship died out. But I certainly don't want to find myself in that sort of situation for real ever!

[meetkitty123]

I have had a man turn down my ring to him...
for being too glamorous... well that's why it's best just to let people know what they do or do not like

[meetkitty123]

Returning a ring is a pain in the butty that's for sure.

[Fireguy17]

I am a retired jeweler, (amongst other things) I owned our families store for 32 years before I retired.
In today's world nothing is the same as it was years ago.
It used to be he bought her rings, she bought his.
Now all bets are off.
A lot of who buys what comes down to the financial end of it.
Is he just starting out and doesn't have much money and you do, things like that.
Also what you would like to have also makes a big difference.
An expensive set, or just a lain band.
I have seen many sad cases where the couple had financed the rings and the payments lasted much longer than the marriage.
They were so upside down on them that even if they got a decent price for them when the sold/dumped them, that was still not enough to cover what the owed.
Talk about a gift that keeps on giving! Ouch!
So talk about it, see what his feelings are on the subject.
In the long run it really won't matter much after you are married who paid for them.

[DizzyDesii]

He can pick my engagement ring since the chance of a proposal is up to him, but im picking my wedding band and have no issue paying for it cause its up there, and ion even like rings lmao. I honestly rather just wear dogtags

[meetkitty123]

True if following the original tradition of an cheap engagement ring as something temporary then followed by a permanent wedding ring I wouldn't mind if he picks the "engagement" ring but if following the new tradition where the "engagement" is the Wedding ring and all that is added are wedding bands then I would certainly want some say in the ring selection... If the man was adamant he was paying but it's still a style of my liking then so be it if he feels he can afford it I'll step to the side but if he couldn't I'd want to help pay.

[DizzyDesii]

I’d still wear his ring and mine would be stacked right behind that one 😂

[meetkitty123]

Very pretty

[DizzyDesii]

Its an example. I dont like that ring in the pic 🤣

[Kathie93]

I think he would find it weird and unusual and wonder if there’s a reason behind it he won’t like

[meetkitty123]

A man wouldn't consider a woman he loves, his bride to be, weird. If fact By that point in their relationship he would understand her and her thinking deeply and fully... It's probably a part of her personality that helped him fall in love with her to begin with. However I must agree some men would rather cover the cost themselves to be traditional but her offering to help him pay wouldn't be seen as a bad thing but rather just another reason to love her more.

[SteveSmith1985]

I can't claim to be speaking for "guys" here. But personally, I wouldn't have a problem with that. It makes sense to me that you get the ring you actually want. If that ring were more than I could afford, I would be fine with it. Especially if you explained where you were coming from, as you explained here. You do want to explain that though. 🙂

[AviatorTom]

I don't think he would mind. Tradition has the man buying the bride's engagement and wedding rings while the woman buys the groom's wedding ring. Since the engagement ring is almost always more expensive than a wedding ring, the man ends up paying more.

But I don't think a guy would mind if she offered to split the cost of all the rings.

[Bricealan]

When I got married, my wife bought my wedding band, and she wore a wedding ring from her prior marriage, rather than have us go to the expense of getting her another ring. He mother was VERY GENEROUS with us, (she liked me) and she paid for new, large bay windows for my/her home and paid 10,000 for our wedding and honeymoon.

I REALLY DON'T THINK IT GETS ANY BETTER THAN THAT AND THE SADDEST PART IS THAT OUR MARRIAGE FAILED SHORTLY. WE WERE MID 20'S.

[Mark987]

I wouldn't want her to pay anything at all. That's just me... if you're going to propose it's a sign of your commitment to each other... and if you don't want to get married that's fine also. I know people that have spent very little and some that have spent a lot of money. I don't think she should have to pay anything at all

[jamesgoldman]

I would but then I'm on that business I'd probably either buy something nice but cheap or spend the same budget on a 'better' ring

[meetkitty123]

I'm all about economics and finding better value for less especially if the product meets my standards or exceeds it!

[Red_Arrow]

You are about to be married and share expenses anyway, so why not? Some guys will not do it because of pride, but if it gets you what you are going to wear for hopefully the rest of your life, you should get what you want.

[exitseven]

I never bought an engagement ring. My wife and I were saving to buy a house and we thought an engagement ring was unnecessary. We did however buy gold wedding rings to pledge that we would be together forever.

[PointTaken]

It all depends. I'm the kind that would surprise her not ring shop. But everyone is different

[meetkitty123]

It's a romantic gesture... Hopefully you know the woman's taste... Or allergies. I always got nervous at that idea because of a previous experience. I was with someone who bought me a silver Pandora's bracelet and charms and he never asked me what I liked or asked around... I'm allergic to silver... I would wear it with benadryl cream... I was too timid and too young to say anything knowing how much he must have spent I wish I had cuz the engagement ring was white gold... (Also containing silver) 😬 and besides allergies as far as cosmetics I HATE white jewelry... and when he asked do you like it I felt terrible Forcing out a "Yes I love it" for fear of hurting him.

[PointTaken]

I have ways to find out. When I'm ready, I do certain things to find out. I should know her allergies by then anyway. If I don't know that, then it's too soon.

[meetkitty123]

Yes 👍 very good 😊
An attentive partner makes a good Partner!

[PointTaken]

I will say, it's a disappointment if she says she loves it but doesn't. That's why there's a return policy.

[Summeroflove]

Well. Most men would see it as a good thing. Honesty. Marriage should be more about love then material value.

[LiamJHayden]

In an ideal world, people would get modest rings, have a modest wedding, and spend the savings building a future together. But as for the rings, if I were to ever marry I would buy hers and she should buy mine.

[Jamie05rhs]

Interesting question. I think if my girlfriend wanted to pick her own ring and pay for part of it, I would be okay with that! I don't see anything wrong with that.

[Still-alive]

I definitely wouldn’t mind. Some traditions are really just peer pressure from dead people lol. If you wanna do something different that is just fine.

[MementoMori777]

I wouldn't mind but personally I'd want to be the one to fully purchase her ring

[Makeushiver]

I'd love to go to the gym with you. Seeing your deep squat in the accompanying phot immediately made me want to have my face there.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

B) No, he wouldn't mind.

[misogynistic_pig]

I would never spend my money on a wedding ring, much less a wedding, so if she wants to buy her own ring, I don't care.

[Wwwyzzerdd]

I'm never getting married again. One bad marriage was enough.

[clampfan101]

I personally would not. I’m not going to be mad at her for being generous.

[noohair]

I have discovered that stuff has no value in finding happiness.

[A_Nihilist]

I wouldn't mind at all. Shit is expansive, why should I have to pay it all?