I feel like he just wanted to keep seeing me to kiss and have someone to hold but since I told him I dont want to have sex until I am in a serious relationship, he said we are in one. He tried having sex with me, I said no because I felt like things were moving too fast. Then after that he just doesn't text me as much. Maybe once every other day. What happened. This sucks. Any advice?
I asked a guy if he wants to be exclusive and he said yes. Since then, he texts me less. Why is this. Is he not interested as much?
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Two things come to mind for me.
One, he just said he wants to be exclusive with you, only so that he can sleep with you. So, a false or half-hearted commitment. If this is the case, then he was just playing your with heart strings and is waiting for you to give in and have sex with him. And then he may give you more attention after you give him what he wants.
OR…
Two, he actually does want to be in an exclusive relationship with you, but with you turning down sex, it made him feel rejected, and he needs reassurance that you love and care about him and you’re attracted to him. Sometimes turning down sex feels like being told, “I don’t want you.” Which can hurt and make him distance himself a bit.
this is great perspective! So what do I do now? How can I tell which of the 2 he is feeling. Should I call him or try to make plans?
Thanks! 🙂
I think the best thing to do is to test out scenario 2. If it’s just reassurance that he needs from you, you can give him that emotional support and comfort and see if he comes around. If you’re the most loving and caring and concerned girlfriend you can be and he feels like you really do want to be with him, that should help him open up and no longer distance himself.
If that doesn’t affect anything, or he’s trying to avoid emotional intimacy. If you can persist through his stubbornness and he STILL doesn’t want to deal with you until you put out…
Then, he probably fits into scenario 1. Where he’s just trying to get laid, and waiting for you to give in to his terms. Which isn’t good because that means you’re no better than a f*ck buddy to him and who knows if he’s actually exclusive with you or still seeing other people.
I personally try to avoid texting the woman I'm dating, because I want us to relate in real life, not through text.