He likes me but doesn't want to be exclusive yet?

[spuitkaas]

I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks now. We hit it off really well in the first date. He seemed excited and so was I. He wanted to do all types of activities with me together, had good sex and talked about the future. He even wanted to see me when he had only an hour left and said he missed me the other night.
So I was texting him and asked how he was doing and he said he had a date with another girl. I felt quite uncomfortable with that because I felt like we were hitting it off so well that maybe he started getting more exclusive.
So after we talked a lot and he said that he was not ready to be exclusive. I understood because it was so short term, but I felt weird with him actively looking for other girls.
Was I too impatient or did he just not actually like me as much as he said he did?

Updates

+1 y

Hey guys. Thank you for your kind responses. I was not planning on waiting for him to be finished with dating, but I was just very confused by his behaviour. At one side acting like he genuinely liked me and at the other side not wanting to give up dating other girls. He did say he eventually wants to settle down but he first want to date some more, but I'm not someone's second choice in my opinion. At least that's how I feel.

[ohshee]

Wait okay time out first of all you are beautiful girl get any guy you want if I was to take out a girl make love to her have a very good time it's because I like her not because when we're finished I get to go home and this weekend have another girl and do the same thing if I was to do that in one way or another I would be using both girls I don't get that because I couldn't do that if I was to do that I would have to be using one of you or even maybe both of you and that's b******* it kind of sounds like you were just waiting for the guy I wouldn't wait for him if I was you I wouldn't want him if I was you you know as well as I do there's a hundred million men out there that would just be dying to go out with you period. I don't know I would think about picking a new guy if I was you and I know I'm not you so it's my choice or that's what I would have to do

[spuitkaas]

Honestly I'm not used to a guy being so unsure of me. Normally I'm the one rejecting so I was also confused by his behaviour lol. I'm not waiting for him to make up his mind.

[ohshee]

I wouldn't think you would want to it kinda sounds like he wants his cake and eat it to

[SirJohn42]

You dont need that kind of headache if he slept with you and is already dating another.

he's not worth your time.
he's seeking others he's not wamting you.

To me he's an idiot.
Sorry but move on dont let this prich hurt you.

[btbc92]

You gave him sex. Why would he want anything more if he was so eager to hop in bed with you. You just met the guy. Men are not going to take you seriously if you don't even have any boundaries or sexual standards. He doesn't really like you, like you. He barely even knows you at all except now sexually. But that's it. He is not looking for other girls he just wants sex. And you got used. When you too easy that is what happens. That's why you don't have premarital sex. Because you don't know what you are picking up.

[spuitkaas]

I definitely have boundaries, for example that he can only date me if he stops dating other girls. However I actually also enjoy sex so I did it more for myself than for him.
He knows me quite well I would say. We hiked together, did mountainbiking, cooking together etc. Also texting about anything and everything.
I don't see why a guy would do all that just to have sex? It's quite inefficient. Also he's not dating other girls just to have sex, but to get to know them as well.

[btbc92]

What do you mean how can you not? You just said that you enjoy sex and you did it more for yourself. How can you end up saying you don't see why God would do that just to get sex? Because that's what you do if you have no respect for yourself sexually, a man is not going to respect you. You're easy. So since you ain't person that's easy, why should he respect you? Because you're another human being? A lot of you people going to find out that people are not always going to see you as another human being. That's what happens when you don't wait to have sex before marriage more. Because they don't see the difference. So why is other women like yourself no offense is going to see the difference? That's what happens. He's not going to date other girls because at the end of the day, why should he dates when he can get sex for free?

[yofuknutz]

^^^^ she has a point. But yet U are a guru, hmm 😒

[CMC93]

It has nothing to do with anything you did--He is just not a good guy.. That is so disrespectful and selfish.

You deserve so much better than that. 💗

[spuitkaas]

Thanks girlie

[Stazz76]

It seems like all the arguments presented here are premised around the assumption that monogamy is a given.
Of course, monogamy is better for many reasons, but some people genuinely want to spend time getting to know more than one person at an intimate level.
You two might have a lot in common, but if you require exclusivity, and he wants to spread his love, that's a deal breaker for you. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. It doesn't mean he just wants sex. It doesn't mean he used you (you both wanted sex and it was consentual, so really you both used each other).
You need to decide if you want to relax your requirement for exclusivity and have a good friend with good benefits, or whether you want to keep searching for the perfect man.

[Hans222]

What I find very delicate is that he already had sex with you, but at the same moment doesn't want to be exclusive. I would say that when you're serious about a relationship and start the kissing and especially the sex phase, it's urgent time to get exclusive.
Be careful that he isn't using you. He'll really have to commit I would say...

[Nik1hil]

You are monogamous by nature
He is polygamous by nature..

It will not work out between you two..
In this relationship either you will be unhappy or he will be unhappy.

[spuitkaas]

I thought this as well, but he said he is monogamous... He does say that he really like tp have freedom or something so maybe he has fear of commitment I don't know. At least I know I deserve better.

[Guanfei]

Then too fucking bad for him, tell him to leave. You don't have time to waste with that kind of crap

[Tstrbrainer]

Probably he's not ready for an exclusive relationship.
He's still unsure.

I suggest that you don't waste time on him, if he's ready in the future, he'll come to you

[Tstrbrainer]

Definitely, you don't need to be a back up plan, you don't owe anything.
Just enjoy your life. All the best

[spuitkaas]

Thank you!

[Tstrbrainer]

👍👍👍

[BoobMan]

Not a great sign Spuit! Sorry to hear. Probably worth adding some distance and seeing what he does.

[spuitkaas]

Yeah I don't know I don't want to wait for him to see if there's any better you know what I mean? Like I get where he's coming from, but I think he just doesn't like me as much. Otherwise you would've been more sure and went for it.
Rn I'm just ghosting him bc he can fuck himself. It's sad because I normally never actually like a guy and we really connected, however, I need to protect myself.

[Shy_Steve]

He sounds like he just wants you on the side, I am pretty sure he is using you.
Your better off with another Guy.

[spuitkaas]

But like why lie and say you do want something serious and wanting to plan all types of things? I don't get men.

[Shy_Steve]

Because having 2 Girls increases the chance of having sex more likely or more often.

[colin77]

U give up sex to quick... that's why he reacting so...

[spuitkaas]

You would say that if the sex is good, you would like to have more? I don't regret having sex but yeah.

[colin77]

If it was good he would want more... but u all sex once and he reacting negatively... will I guess u enjoy it...

[spuitkaas]

We had sex twice and both was good. He seemed to very much enjoy it. I think he had planned to continue to have sex and date other girls at the same time.

[colin77]

Love yourself... so u can make good choices... unless is jus sex u wants

[Anonymous]

This is all too common these days Welcome to the Jungle hang on for the ride

[Waldoe]

sounds like he isn't ready for anything serious... sorry

[COMMODOREII]

How long do you know each other?

[spuitkaas]

3 weeks or so?

[COMMODOREII]

Way too early to be exclusive

[spuitkaas]

For a relationship for sure, but I feel like it's weird to actively look for other options when you're getting more serious with a girl

[COMMODOREII]

3 weeks is at best 3 dates considering you only see each other every weekend. When you date you date others too. So it is way too early to decide.

[msc545]

A few weeks is not much time to be exclusive...

[Ilickvulvas]

Not as much. He’s keeping his options open

[MackWestwood]

This is the girl version of the friendzone.

[PeterCharie1991]

He wants his cake and eat it

[Slim57]

You're just a fling option to him