How do you know if a man is genuinely interested in you and not just because he wants to sleep with you?

Question

He act so nice, caring, romantic but sometimes there’s a mixed signal in his action which lead to confusion.

BullShark · Accepted Answer

There's a few ways to differentiate whether a guy really likes you and he's being genuine, or if it's all an act to get you to sleep with him. Let me explain as best I can;

Notice how his friends respond to you. If they say something like "oh Brian talks about you all the time" or "so you're that girl Brian talks so highly off? You must be really special to him" then that's a clear sign his friends know about you, and if they do, then that means he talks about you and he's genuinely interested in you.
If his gestures are nice and sweet, and he does them simply out of the goodness of his heart and nothing in return. Things like offering to pay for your lunch instead of splitting the bill, getting you a random gift you once told him you liked, etc.
He isn't overly physical with you and doesn't overstep his boundaries. He knows when to give you space and doesn't invade your privacy.
He's always respectful and caring around you.
He seems genuinely happy when he's with you and let's you see a small part of who he really is underneath his mask.

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

Be observant and look for consistent patterns. Most people just see what they want to see, overlooking key red flags. It's easy to tell the difference between a focus on you and a focus on your body. If he's interested in you, he'll want to understand your thoughts and feelings. He'll show an interest in what's important to you in life. He'll talk about the picture he sees of his long-term life and how you fit into that picture. Just make sure you seek a deeper understanding when he is focusing on your interests, so you can see if they are his interests also or if he is just looking to impress you.

WriterDreams · Accepted Answer

From my experience, his actions will always back up his words.

If he is interested in more than sex he will be there when you are crying, at 2am when you are standing on a train tracks not coping. He will stay on the phone as long as it takes to see you safe. He will care about things like if you are eating, being warm and safe. He will want to know you got home safely and can't sleep right until he dase.

He will help you move and change his appointments if he has to inorder to do so.

He will love hanging out with you just because and not with sex involved.

He will never get aggressive when he suggests something and you are not comfortable with it. He may tease, or pout but he won't be angry or force you into it.

He respects your views even if they differ greatly from his.

He won't treat you like meat he will prove you are more with every tiny thing he dase.

It's hard to tell as some men do put on a good act and lie thire cute buts off but the good ones are constant and generally their good intentions will show through their actions.

Tephra · Accepted Answer

They go at your pace, they are not trying to rush or flatter you into doing or moving into things you do not want to do. Some men can 'love-bomb' you and say all the good things YOU want to hear, which is why it is best to take any relationship slow, and see what happens.

If he genuinely likes you, he will move at your own pace, he would make dates that interest you, really listen to what you have to say and ask you questions about your life, aspirations and goals. Mixed signals can be a sign of either he is not sure you like him the same way back or he is just not sure about you and see where it leads.

If you are showing genuine interest, and he is not reciprocating on a deeper level. He is probably not interested or wanted something (sex)

razelove · Answer

You won't know that until his actions line up to support that over more than about a month. It goes the same way for a guy who's interested in a woman. I've been with more than I can remember who said a lot of sweet things in breathless voices but felt buyer's remorse, shame or what not, and only stuck around for the night or a week.
I am shameless, so whether I slept with someone after an hour, minute, or a week never bothered me. For most women it seems like they'll ghost if it happens in under 2 days though.
Guys can follow that trend too, just see if his actions match his words, and if they keep going past the puppy love phase where you know, neither of you can seem to make any mistakes and shit smells like roses. If you go past that, things start looking positive :)

Leapfrog00 · Answer

If a guy is truly interested in you, he'll listen to what you have to say. He'll care about your interests.

The best way to find out if he is interested in you is to tell him some things about yourself and see if he remembers them. That's how you'll know he was listening.
Most guys that just want sex aren't good listeners. They may remember some things, but nothing important usually. Test him. There's nothing wrong with wanting to nip something in the bud.

It's important to tell him what you are looking for in a relationship. If he doesn't respect that, tell him, "See ya never!". Having things in common is important too. A lot of times people that just hook up have nothing in common, so if he does just want sex, there probably won't be many interests you share.

I hope this helped.

BadApple69 · Answer

The reality of it is…. He wants to sleep with you. To a man, that’s where it starts. We are attracted to her looks first (and we whisper to our friends “darn I want to bang her”). Then we hang around, try to get what we want. If the girl has a good personality, is fun to be with and has many common interests we might actually fall for her BEFORE we sleep with her. It’s a silly game we play…. Girls are looking for Mr. Right, and guys are looking for Ms. RightNow. To find the right guy win his heart with good conversation, laughter, common interests than take him to bed and capture his heart for sure.

Randogirl491 · Answer

I'm going to sound salty but I think a man is never genuinely interested in a woman. He just finds her hot enough that he can consider her to be enough to keep him satisfied in long term. The reason I believe that is that men are never interested in a woman who is ugly or bland looking no matter her personality or how much they get along. Only men who can't get a hot/pretty woman get with ugly women and it's out of despair. The sexual potential is what matters the most to a man and will be the deciding factor. Who you are as a person is completely secondary. After he validated your looks he only needs to find you tolerable to be around. Your beauty will make him adore your personality if it's decent enough. This is true for the majority of men.

PizzaDaddyo · Answer

If he stays with you after menopause he might just love you!

Sadly this is a very difficult question to answer with out the ability to read minds. It sucks to say but be happy with how he wants the sex and how he adores his attraction for you. Keep your eyes peeled tho, you know, his patience and patterns of his libido! If he has no patience and is constantly horny, and this behavior is more apparent than him actually listening understanding and bonding with you then we might have your answer!

Long story short: You won’t know right away and you can’t just ask him one question and get your answer. You kinda have to try him out and choose if you agree with his desires based on his patterns of behavior.

PaulPanda8 · Answer

He'll like what your interested in. He'll listen to you. He'll spend time with you. Oh, he'll be vulnerable. He'll get annoyed when you talk about fucking some guy. Or if he's an "nice guy" he'll listen but rather take cyanide to end the pain inside his shattered heart. When he avoids you after you talk about your date with Mike the model, you'll know he did like you. And if he's a moron and enjoys suffering inside while you talk about your ex and how all your dates were amazing, then he's a masochist.

If he wants sex, he'll talk about it instantly. E. g. are you the kinda girl that spits or swallow? Or he'll talk about his past sexual encounters. It'll be obvious. He'll be touchy touchy. If his hand on your lower back, he's saying he wants to fuck you.

And with that note, good night.

Anonymous · Answer

Well, I personally can say that, when I'm trully interested in a girl I'm gonna treat her like a queen. Ask her out, be a real gentleman. I like to be nice, caring, romantic as you mentioned. I ask her about her day, call her, text her, give her time and space. I invest time and money with her, I look her on the eyes, make her smile, be myself. Met her family, u just know that you mean something special to me.

I gotta say, I've been cheated on and left for somebody else after doing all this. So, I guess I'm gonna stop doing this.

Berethor · Answer

You can wait until marriage, it the only way to be sure, he sounds pretty suspicious to me.

Lynzerilee · Answer

Sometimes it's hard to tell since some dudes can go all the way and do the dating thing etc.. they can also be really good at telling you everything you crave to hear. So only time can tell, and you should try not to have great expectations and look out for any slight red flags. You can also have the relationship / exclusivity talk and make them wait before the both of you get physical, this usually reveals their intentions.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

The waiting game. You make him wait. If he grows impatient and asks why you have not hit the sheets yet, then he's likely being nice to bed you.

Nothing wrong with telling him up front. Sex is not in the cards, until you know he is serious. It weeds out the players.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

A guy that does not get angry when you make an error and a guy that defends you when other people are rude to you. The problem with a man's loyalty is that it might be temporary, permanent signs of loyalty, involve him giving you advice about being nice to others. That shows he values you beyond your dating value. All my high quality male friends gave me advice when they saw me making errors in judgment.

AlexisDiani · Answer

Very difficult one. If you spend time with him on a regular basis I think you can get a feel for the type of guy he is. That sounds airy fairy I know but it’s not really. I believe we assimilate information about a person through our subconscious and that can come from small comments or small facial gestures etc. I guess what I’m saying is that you should trust your gut instinct, and use it along with your rational thinking.

Rei13 · Answer

Generally if he is okay with not having sex with you right away and goes at the speed that you’re comfortable with then he likes you. If you do kiss and he immediately tries to date you after then he likes you. If a guy just wants sex they usually do not stick around that long if you’re not putting out

Rosexøxø · Answer

He spends quality time with you, and throughout those times he doesn’t ask for anything sexual.

QUALITY TIME.

That’s the answer.

Sexual ones who don’t care for much more or you, will be selfish and will operate too quickly to even stick around long.

MrOracle · Answer

You don't leave it to chance - you set boundaries and expectations from the beginning, you listen to what he says (especially if he says something that isn't what you want), and mostly, you look at his actions and behavior OUTSIDE the bedroom to see if his actions match his words.

It's YOUR job to ensure that there are expectations set and structure in place - don't expect a man to do that. A few will, but most will expect you to do so.

strateguy632 · Answer

the way to distinguish is to invite for early dinner like soon after work... then prepare the topics you enjoy talking about. if he participated, despite long time, then he likes you for you and if you want intimacy, that night, you can be sure he also likes the you not just his lust.

PhenomenalQueen · Answer

I would say I’ve had a man who was “interested” in me do all of the things the men are saying in their comments, and he STILL played me.. So, I feel the ONLY way you’ll know is if you ask the right questions. These people are very good at the games that they play. (When I say people, I mean the ones that are playing games, not specifically men)

Anonymous · Answer

Put it plain for you. He is interested in you. But men don’t get into committed relationships just to be friends. If we just wanted to get to know you without sex, we could stay just friends with you. Only reason to become exclusive or be into one woman is just so they can be sexual really the only real tangible benefit to being in a committed relationship with a woman. Women don’t like to hear that fact and damn sure can’t handle it. But it’s the truth, why would you give everything up as a man just to be exclusive friends without those benefits. You can start to get to know each other in the talking stage but once we go exclusive, then she better be ready to give up the goods.

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

He doesn’t do anything to setoff any “Red Flags”. Depending on the severity of any “Red Flags, if he happens to wave any, does he respect you enough not to repeat it when confronted.

Example: If he gets angry when asked not to cross any of your boundaries, like blowing up your phone when you give a valid reason for breaking a date. Does he not respect your wishes when asked to stop.

stepyo99 · Answer

Simple. Stop sleeping around and don't put out until marriage - or at least engagement. If men can get sex without a relationship, they will take that 9/10. And the guys who do want a relationship are going to look at your double digit body count with disgust.

imawfulatusernames · Answer

You don’t. If all he wants is sex he doesn’t care if it takes months or hours, the best course is only have sex because you want to have sex. Not because you think it’ll lead to more but because you want to, if you don’t want sex without more then you’re in a weird place as some men will do a lot to feel like they ‘won’ but use the time to figure him out. Ask important questions, find out his views on women and sex and you’ll figure out what he wants but you’ll have to read between the lines.

HonestHannah · Answer

You hangout together without having sex or physically touching and it feels good. He initiates plans with you when you can't have sex (i. e. if neither of you want to have sex while on your period or going camping with his parents or some shit). or he initiates commitment (marriage or dating exclusively)

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Follow his actions not his words. Does he make time for you? Does he prioritize you over the mundane things? Does he text back at a reasonable speed? Do you keep stuff at his place or vice versa? When you go out to dinner if his phone is on the table is it face up or face down? When you're in bed will he check his phone in front of you or does he wait for you to go to the bathroom?

We can tell lots of lies... But we can't fake our actions.

Anonymous · Answer

that's the thing with men, you just don't know... because all of them DO want to sleep with you regardless of how interested they are. this is why we wait and wait for that trust to be earned, and then wait some more. and also communicate. a lot.

Gloree · Answer

1. He don't focus on your boobs or bum when he talking to you.

2. He listen to you talk. He Regards your opinion

3. He gives you his time.

4. He flaunts you. Like take u on public dates not some quiet place where you will be hidden like his house.

5. He spends the little he has to show you he cares.

6. He talk about the future. He values you, treats you like a queen.

7. He respects you.

gerald5466 · Answer

if he treats you right and all that stuff then he is probably genuinely interested in you I do all those things but I still want to get in my girl's pants and If we were able to hang out she already said she would want to do it. but that's not why I'm in the relationship it's just a plus I'm in the relationship because she treats me right and is just perfect in every way. i would be happy with just sleeping with her in an innocent way

Sharkstealth · Answer

I believe that sexual energy is felt pretty soon in fact even in initial attraction. Smiling, wanting to be near, engaged. Whether he just wants to fuck or be primarily yours I think is entirely his attitude. He may not have any interest in relationships at all.

mommymommymommy · Answer

Well, that's the question you'd have to ask yourself. If you were to wait until you were married to have sex, would there not only be a first and second date, but also a (because it's generally considered the sex date), third date... and then tell him, I'm waiting until marriage. Then hope that he's willing to do that. The problem then is, if you waited, and then it didn't work out once you were married, you just wasted sex on a guy you married

noohair · Answer

Men have a deep psychological need to procreate. It is not conscious so you see signals that are not made on purpose. Men don't do the hinting and signals well. We often miss the intended message, and then the woman is mad because they feel unheard. Guys respond to direct verbal communication when you use simple words and speak clearly. Our brain is different than your brain. It is not good or bad or better or worse, it just is.

Guardian45 · Answer

The genuine article won't push to sleep with you or may say it's too soon. The genuine article may only give you a kiss for a while. The genuine article wants to know more about you and enjoys spending time with you. The genuine article takes an interest in what you like, and may even want to do the same thing together. The genuine article wants to take care of you, protect you and generally be helpful to you. These are just some of the signs.

shades777 · Answer

What man on earth that isn't straight is going to talk to a woman he likes and not want sex?
Thats what I want to know, on what bizarre strange world are you all living on?
Sex comes with the package,

I imagine if sex hasn't happened by the second of third date a man is now wasting his time, and money then its time to move on.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

It's called dating. It's about getting to know eachother, take risks not every person is going to be the right one.

The fact is neither of you are going to truthfully know the answer to that until way after you've done it anyway.

ManOnFire · Answer

@mariena_anne92 What are the mixed signals in his actions that seem confusing? What things does he do to lead you to believe that there are unclear things in them?

YourExLover69 · Answer

Well you can't come to conclusion quick about that. You need to have patience and with passage of time he will show his true intentions and colors

Anonymous · Answer

If he just wants sex then he will only want to catch up for sex. He will barely respond to text messages and text you a few hours before meeting up. Make excuses and when you try to talk about feelings he avoids it. When he is genuinely interested he will want to spend a lot of time with you, get to know you and ask about your life. Also show genuine care.

Alitator · Answer

He'll generally take things slower, be more respectful, ask a lot of personal questions, with follow ups. Take you on dates where he gets to know you more, not try to rush to the bedroom.

Men know if they hook up fast things can fizzle out quickly. So if he's smart, he'll take it slower and build a foundation to work off of.

Nik1hil · Answer

He sees a future with you, you always part of his plans, even if he is planning to go to grocery store or Gas station, if he steps outside his house, he asks you, "Girl do you need anything."

LiamJHayden · Answer

Make him wait. If he's into you, he will. If he doesn't, then you know what he really cared about.

loveslongnails · Answer

Presume that he wants sex, so ask him straight up what ELSE he wants besides sex? Ask him if he wants a committed, long term relationship - if that's what you want. Ask him straight up and gauge his response.

NudeBella · Answer

Don't sleep with him for a while. If he's interested in you, he will stick around. Sometimes that's hard for me to do. LOL.

lightbulb27 · Answer

sounds like he has some fear and shame and doubt. have to explore that. his childhood has the answers of his behaviors.

katiesmuff · Answer

For sure you can't get that answer from here! It will come from real feelings you will feel yourself!

LivingExample · Answer

“Sleep with you” makes it hard to tell if he is “genuinely interested.” Stop “sleep with you” is the way to find out!

Summeroflove · Answer

Don’t have sex with him…. If he dumps you. You know what he was after

DermalPunch · Answer

They come on strong then they sputter. Don't put out and they will give up after 2 or so weeks

aoihewgf · Answer

By considering the following   how long the guy waits (t) His ability to get it somewhere else (A) How much he spends to get it (c) His libido (L) Genuine Interest = T*(A/C)*(L)

TheFlak38 · Answer

Any woman who doesn't want to give sex to a man literally has nothing else to offer. That's the one thing and even that she refuses to give because she wants free attention and money.

Paul09 · Answer

Well date him for like 3 months with zero sex or anything sexual. Mental connection first, than physical connection. If he talks a lot about it, tries to start it. And you tell him no, there's the first red flag.

Manuel2 · Answer

If he will be not afraid to tell you what he done when your not there.
Also when and how you deal with your periods and what sort of sex you want to try.

But are you intetested enough in him to answer such questions?

DizzyDesii · Answer

You just gotta go for it, prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

Anonymous · Answer

You can't control others peoples actions, only your own. If you only have sex with men that are worthy of being the father of your children, there is nothing to worry about...

TooHot2Care · Answer

I’m just here to learn, tbh I think girls are better equipped to answer this question than guys, no cap.

Nikki1989 · Answer

You can assume most just want sex. That is just the way they are.

Christoff92 · Answer

Well am a sneaky but naughty bugger. So can really play it very well without her noticing. But first I would see if she's genuinely interested too 😉😏

Sparkie460 · Answer

Don't give it up right away. Make him wait. If he sticks around and waits for you, he's a keeper. If he leaves, you know he just wanted to get you in bed

In_Trance · Answer

Kerp your clothes on and see how long he stays around

RavVid · Answer

If you are comely, and not overweight, most men will want to sleep with you most of the time.

Avicenna · Answer

Only time will tell for sure. it's often not obvious.

VikingWarLord · Answer

He'll try to simp for you and text you often. But is that really the type of guy you want?

Anonymous · Answer

The same way you know the same thing with a woman. You don't fully. You just make her wait for it. And if she waits then she's probably a keeper. If she doesn't then she just told you who she was.

How do you know if a man is genuinely interested in you and not just because he wants to sleep with you?

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