Who should text after first date? guy or girl? should girl thank you guy since he payed for the caffee?

[Anonymous]

I already said in person that it was nice to meet him after we parted our ways.

[Rosexøxø]

he's not interested. I read your forwarded messages to another commenter, and he said "I would go back- at least for me." that right away meant he doesn't plan to go back with you lol

otherwise he would've said, "Yeah I plan to go back." and maybe even a: "maybe we can schedule another time/ pick out another day we can go there."

He didn't do either of those. There is a psychological thing guys do when they like girls, it is said, they will say "we" a lot when they talk about future plans, if they see a future with a girl. He didn't mention any we's and even went the extra mile to say "Well, for MYSELF"

To me, the date with him doesn't seem too promising.

As far as who should text back first, I think the guy should as that's how we were brought up, and not only so, but girls fall a bit quicker than guys, on the emotional spectrum, so you letting him text first is the best indicator to see if he's still interested or not, and WHAT he's interested in specifically. Not all guys say their "day is made," when they just get a cup of coffee with a girl...

lol it's just not their cup of tea. Respectively.

[Asker]

No he said ” I can say it won’t be the last time at least for me”

[Asker]

Maybe he wasn’t sure how I feel about him?

[Rosexøxø]

possibly. I wish you the best and hope to be wrong, but "at least for me" seems more negative than him saying "It won't be the last time."

[SeriouslyFunny00]

I don't know if I'm just old school, but I do think men should text you, or even ask you when you get home safe.

[Wisdom-Strength-Love]

If you had a great time, be bold, take a leap.


Sounds like your first date was mundane.
And just a thank you is just as mundane.


If the connection was obvious, it wouldbt ve cryptic, anything one text would suffice, but keep the flame ignited by say the unexpected and having a laugh, or even be aroused, whatever closes the night in happiness.


You could even send a serious confession that yoyr date was brutal and you had the worse time and could not say it to their face. Then text him you just playing around, that to let them know they made it to the second tound of your affection, and put them on the spot asking what they have planed for date 2 that will survive to week 3 , and hint at them needing to prepare more capital than covering a cofee - a joke that should be considered nonetheless

[Asker]

We went out for a coffee. Next day I thanked him and asked him “ what did you think about the coffee place, did it meet your expectations”. I asked that because we never been to that place before.

Then he said” I have to admit it was pretty nice place, it won’t be the last time I’m going there at least for me :) , what about you?
Then I said ” What if I say “I’ll for sure be going back, let me know if you’d like to meet there again”
He then responded ” nice to hear that you liked it :)” Nothing else…

[ohsheeT]

This is so cute because you went out he hasn't called yet and you're jonesing for that call just do it there is no social ethics just do it if you want to do it do it if you like the guy do it stop following the rules if there are any you make your own rules if you like somebody you tell them you show them so don't make up excuses to thank him for the coffee just call him

[Asker]

I don’t think he’s interested

I did eventually send thank you text. after thanking him he said likewise and then said hope rest of my evening was good. I said that my evening was good etc and asked what about him. He then said nice to hear that. Rest of my evening also went good and I spend it with family and friends.

He didn’t ask further questions …

[ohsheeT]

Sorry to hear that I look at it in a positive way maybe 6 or 7 out of 10 guys would have kept the conversation going and knowing that they are not interested just so maybe the next time they took you for coffee something else might happen so I applaud him for not doing that I think it would have been better if you would have just came out and told you what he felt though I don't know maybe I'm looking too deep into it

[Asker]

So do you think he’s not interested? I then continued the conversation, I asked him a question. Was it too bad?

[ohsheeT]

I think if you like him that you should send him another message if he's not into you then and around about way make him tell you I mean because you can't read his mind what was the question that you asked him

[Asker]

I asked him “ what did you think about the coffee place, did it meet your expectations”. I asked that because we never been to that place before.

Then he said” I have to admit it was pretty nice place, it won’t be the last time I’m going there at least for me , what about you?
Then I said ” What if I say “I’ll for sure be going back, let me know if you’d like to meet there again”
He then responded ” nice to hear that you liked it :)” Nothing else…

[Asker]

What do you think?

[ohsheeT]

Well I'm not really for sure but I don't see why you wouldn't want to ask you back out and in that moment I mean he could have said hey why don't we meet here again at this certain time on this certain day. So I mean I'm not really for sure I read it both ways really and then I have to read it as if the guy was me and if I was going out with somebody that I liked I would say hey I mean there was a a moment there that he could have said anything simple why don't we meet back here again on this certain day

[Asker]

What do you mean both ways? Wasn’t his response rejection?

[ohsheeT]

I kind of look at it like this and I kind of feel it like this that if you like him then you should tell him and tell him that you would like to take him out for a cup of coffee or you can just sit and wait for him to get a hold of you

[ohsheeT]

I don't really know to be honest I mean because I don't know the guy I don't know what he said I don't know what he look like when he was saying it or the total voice I think if you like him ask him to go out with you for a cup of coffee and see what he says or just sit around and wait for him to call you but I mean if I was you I would want to know right now if you're wasting your time or if there could be something

[Asker]

I told him” let me know if you want to go there” isn’t that obvious to him?

[ohsheeT]

Yes for sure I guess so now the ball is in his court and at the same time you need to live life and don't let that phone call consume you always thinking about when you're going to get it you just need to start living life and if you get it you get it if you don't you don't

[Asker]

Do you think he will contact me?

[ohsheeT]

Well if I was you I wouldn't count on it and maybe start looking for someone else

Every guy is different. But for me I would have called just to say thank you had a nice time and let's do it again sometime. And just making sure you hot home ok he sounds like he a little stand offish

[FilmGuy93]

Why overthink something like that? If you enjoyed the date, text and let the person know.

[Asker]

I don’t think he’s interested :/

I did eventually send thank you text. after thanking him he said likewise and then said hope rest of my evening was good. I said that my evening was good etc and asked what about him. He then said nice to hear that. Rest of my evening also went good and I spend it with family and friends.

He didn’t ask further questions …

[CrypticMoon]

I would wait for a got home text or for some time to pass, but otherwise I'm usually the one texting first.

[Asker]

I don’t think he’s interested :/

I did eventually send thank you text. after thanking him he said likewise and then said hope rest of my evening was good. I said that my evening was good etc and asked what about him. He then said nice to hear that. Rest of my evening also went good and I spend it with family and friends.

He didn’t ask further questions …

[juene]

You should thank him. I dont think it's an issue if a girl shows her appreciation first.

[UnknownSwede]

If you want to reach out, you do it. Maybe he thinks you have multiple options and is just waiting for you to say something.

[Asker]

I don’t think he’s interested :/

I did eventually send thank you text. after thanking him he said likewise and then said hope rest of my evening was good. I said that my evening was good etc and asked what about him. He then said nice to hear that. Rest of my evening also went good and I spend it with family and friends.

He didn’t ask further questions …

[UnknownSwede]

So why didn't you ask further questions? Sometimes guys are just tired of having to take the initiative.

[Asker]

I did eventually continue the conversation. Do you think he was dry though? Or am I just too anxious?

[UnknownSwede]

You might be over thinking it and that causes anxiety. I do the same thing.

As I said, guys sometimes get tired of taking the lead and wants to see if the girl will take initiative to show she's interested.

[Asker]

But it was our first date. I thought he would’ve been more excited

[UnknownSwede]

Did you show excitement?

[Asker]

I asked him further question “ what did you think about the coffee place, did it meet your expectations”
Then he said” I have to admit it was pretty nice place, it won’t be the last time I’m going there at least for me :), what about you?

[Asker]

Was he hinting at something?

[UnknownSwede]

He asked you the same thing you asked him. But yeah if it's only one person who takes initiative in things to talk about, then it's very easy to lose interest and feel that the other person is not interested.

[Asker]

So you don’t think he was hinting at that he wants to go there with me again?

[UnknownSwede]

It could be. Hard to know without being him.

[Snickers_5171]

Technically, the guy should text, but some guys may have severe anxiety and might need a nudge to keep the liveliness going. In that case don't be afraid to send the first text

[Asker]

I did eventually send thank you text. after thanking him he said likewise and then said hope rest of my evening was good
What do you think about his response?

[UnknownSwede]

Should? Who says that?

[Sparkie460]

I think it's a good idea for the woman to text him after the date. It keeps her on his mind and it confirms that she is interested in a second date

[Asker]

I did eventually send thank you text. after thanking him he said likewise and then said hope rest of my evening was good
What do you think about his response?

[Sparkie460]

It seems kind of neutral. Did you say that you would like to see him again

[Asker]

No I didn’t

[Asker]

I feel like he would ask me out again if he’s interested

[Sparkie460]

But you can let him know that you'd be interested in going out again.

[Asker]

Then I don’t know how he really feels about me

[Sparkie460]

If he says he'd want to see you again, he's interested

[Asker]

But I want him to mention that again

[Sparkie460]

Did you just go out for coffee or did you do something afterwards like a movie or something

[Asker]

We just went out for coffee

[Sparkie460]

Did he give you any signs that he didn't like you

[Asker]

Not really, at the end he said ”let’s keep in touch” which in my opinion was quite vague

[Sparkie460]

Give him a couple days. See if he calls you

[Asker]

I sent him today thank you text after debating wether I should or not lol

[Sparkie460]

Did he respond

[Asker]

Yeah he did

[Sparkie460]

What did he say

[Asker]

I did eventually send thank you text. after thanking him he said likewise and then said hope rest of my evening was good. I said that my evening was good etc and asked what about him. He then said nice to hear that. Rest of my evening also went good and I spend it with family and friends.

[Asker]

Then I asked him “ what did you think about the coffee place, did it meet your expectations”. I asked that because we never been to that place before.

Then he said” I have to admit it was pretty nice place, it won’t be the last time I’m going there at least for me :), what about you?
Then I said “I’ll for sure be going back, let me know if you’d like to meet there again”
He then responded ” nice to hear that you liked it :)” Nothing else…

[Sparkie460]

It sounds like there won't be a second date with him.

[Asker]

I don't know if it counts but when I texted him that we were both at work

[Sparkie460]

I guess he could have been distracted 🤷

[MackBoy]

The girl should text first because he should know that you are interested in him after having a coffee.

[Asker]

Why it has to be the girl?

[MackBoy]

Because he paid for the coffee, so girl have to text him

[Asker]

Is it bad that I texted him 23h after the date?

[MackBoy]

No it is not bad, you just express your love to him if you love him or if he is interested and honest with you. don't text him if he is bad and dishonest.

[Asker]

What? This was just first date. No need to talk about love or anything about that

[MackBoy]

Then you have to careful till you know that person very well because you may not know whether he is good or bad person. there are so many bad guys on this who act like good people nowadays

[MackBoy]

And be careful when having coffee too,, don't know whether he has added any chemicals to make you feel unconscious and rape you. so keep an eye on the food and drinks you are having with him.

[Monalisa77]

Wow u really must b screwed up if u think theyre gonna do that out in public

[MackBoy]

@Monalisa77 very funny! i was advising her.

[Monalisa77]

Why would they? Theyd easily be caught

[Jltakk]

You should definitely show some appreciation for him paying for you, but both of you should text to keep the connection going.

[Asker]

I did eventually send thank you text. after thanking him he said likewise and then said hope rest of my evening was good

[dudeinohio]

If you want to text him, do it. There is no protocol.

[In_Trance]

It doesn't matter who; somebody needs to do it, that's all

[Nominal]

Who should text after first date? Who's wana have good time.

[spartan55]

Did you thank him in person?

[Asker]

In person I said it was nice to see him

[spartan55]

That's not thank him.

[spartan55]

*thanking him

[Nikki1989]

The last thing I want is a text.

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[UnknownSwede]

She means that she doesn't like to communicate with people in text, that's why she is not using this app 😉

[Twalli]

It's up to you. There's no rule.