Is it common that men who suffer from anxiety/depression seem very straightforward asking girl on a date, but then bail last minute?

[Anonymous]

A guy I really liked did it with me several times, he was always flirty and seemed quite sure of himself, he asked me out and than he always found a last minute excuse to cancel the date. I asked myself for a long time what this behavior meant. Lately I have learned through common friends that he seemingly struggles with anxiety and depression and wondered if this is the explanation

[provokeesmokee]

Avoidant behaviour is common in folks with depression/anxiety.

While it sucks he's suffering, he is also the one making you suffer by not addressing or managing his mental illness.

He needs to learn to do that before he can date you.

I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and struggle sometimes to attend social events. It has gotten better via weed, medication, and years of therapy. But it took work and a lot of mistakes to get to where I am now.

You don't need to stick around this guy while he does that work, though.

Let him down gently, be specific on how his constant cancelling made you feel, and hold your ground when he starts beating himself up in an attempt to garner your sympathy.

Maybe in a few years he'll have done that work. Maybe in 40 years he still won't have.

That's a him problem, not a you problem.

[NatureOnly2]

Men who had these issues are more likely to bail on dates. It isn’t you per se, I would have to say it’s his past experiences with women. He probably IS interested in you, but IS scared that you’ll eventually leave him and just want to be taken out on a date. Try a chill activity, like a walk in a park or something he’s comfortable doing to build that trust. If it’s a guy you’re truly interested in

[brandon1122]

That's a no. It doesn't add up. If he is straightforward then he will definitely show up.

[Asker]

But he didn’t… he did this at least four times, asked me out when we saw each other’s at a friend’s, we made plans, than the same day he would write he had too much work or stuff like that - and the job he has has very regular hours so it was not credible

[brandon1122]

He is fooling around or playing with you. Better keep distance from him. And anxiety and depression doesn't have to do anything in this situation

[In_Trance]

no.

where do you come up with this?