So Should I Tell The Guy Im In Love With I Love Him?

[Anonymous]

So this guy and I have been talking on and off for three years. This year things got a little more serious we have literally talked like nearly everyday. So he said I love you, I didn't think much of it cause it was in the "heat of the moment", but then it became a regular thing and I said it back. Then he made it a point to tell me again when we were just talking. He asked me how I felt and I told him and that I hope he meant it cause I truly do. Then all of sudden things got weird last week he stopped talking to me completely but still makes contact but won't reply to my messages. I don't know what to do here or if I should do anything at all. I'm very confused and very heart broken and I dont know what if I should tell him about my feelings or not. What should I do guys?

[Honest-Matt]

We may need some context to the situation of what your relationship is. Something has influenced a change. Perhaps things got too intense too quickly and he's pulling back so putting more intensity may be the wrong direction as it would be clingy or suffocating. There's no real way to tell what's going on without context.

[Asker]

It hasn't been a relationship as its labeled. So basically its been an entanglement so to speak. Like I would say friends with benefits but not its been a lot of sex ill put it that way.

[Asker]

I can't wrap my head around why he keeps making contact, cause usually guys just ghost, disappear, say they're not looking for a relationship but he's still contacting me but he's not talking... so I dont know what going on or what he's thinking...

[Honest-Matt]

Then perhaps it may just be the feeling of cold feet. Things may have gotten too intense or the thought of what commitment would mean was a sobering realization that going further is not best, at least in their mind.

Sadly we can try our best to not be overbearing and to speak carefully or tactfully to recover a friendship/relationship but they rarely do once someones convinced themselves. I'd give him room to breathe, you guys know and understand each other so don't doubt too much. Just reach out after some time with some reassurance maybe and that you're open to talk.

[Asker]

Im not sure what to do when it comes to time. I haven't said anything directly to him besides teing him I miss him, he just doesn't reply then he'll just hit me up the next day. Should I not say anything? Then what of he meets/ has met a girl who lives closer to him?

[Honest-Matt]

You guys live far apart?

[Asker]

Yeah a little bit. I've got to figure this out cause my emotions are making it hard for me to work at work and im getting straight As in school but I can't help thinking about him...😒 I think I got it bad. I want it to stop 🙈😔

[Honest-Matt]

As much as we want things to work out sometimes, we have to remember it requires two people for it to work and we gotta accept that sometimes it just doesn't work out. Don't let it own you, focus on you because that's the person he fell for anyway. Remember that we're adults, we are busy or should be and too much of one thing is never good. So ride it out, focus on you and life will take it's course with or without him.

[Asker]

Yeah there's some distance

[Asker]

I know thats true... I guess I've just never been in a position where I haven't wanted to be without someone. I can always turn to school or work and things and let thing take their course... but he's different and special to me... Im realizing I dont want to be without him. I understand that if he gives me no choice I have to live without him... I've just never been in love like this before I guess.

[FunkyMonkee]

Absolutely not!! Just see how long it takes him to figure it out for himself.

[Asker]

What is it he needs to figure out? He told me he loved me first... I don't know maybe it just wasn't real..

[spartan55]

Is this an online thing?

[Asker]

Y/N we live apart but its not hard or impossible to get to him.

[spartan55]

But you do or don't?

[Asker]

Do Or don't what? We don't live together

[spartan55]

How far apart do you live?

[Asker]

More than hr but whats that got to do with it?

[In_Trance]

Do you physically see this guy?

[Asker]

Yes.

[In_Trance]

How often?

[Asker]

Since last week not much... before then a lot.