How can I get along with a supervisor that I secretly hate?

[Anonymous]

I recently found out that my supervisor is cheating on his wife since he overshares and brags about his longterm affair with his coworker to everyone in the office. It makes me sick to my stomach and I have a feeling that he already picked up on the fact that I dislike him.

Do you have any tips on how to get along with supervisors, bosses and coworkers you depend on but can't stand at all?

[provokeesmokee]

Petty revenge it.

Orchestrate two things:
1. Make yourself more valuable to your supervisor. Take over key tasks, prepare for them, manage up, make friends with their boss, etc. Position yourself favourably as a good and solid worker.
2. Find out (using burner accounts) his wife's username (s).
3. Forward the boasting to the wife. If you're extra spicy, spoof a customer account and share it to the HR and the highest publicly visible exec's email.
4. Reap the rewards, be they drama or even maybe a promotion.

Other than that, just start looking for a new job.

A bad boss can cost you big time. Cut your losses. Find something better.

[Asker]

He has no social media and unfortunately I don't know his wifes name

[Simslover92]

Grin and bear it. That's all you can do really. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that though. It's certainly not the best situation to be in but I completely understand. I have a boss I can't stand either and that's what I have to do... grin and bear it.

[SnowedIn]

That's disappointing of you.

Like, I get it -- you don't like what he's doing. I respect that. And what he's doing is shitty.

But if you can't separate that form work to the point that you're willing to develop the hate emotion, then the problem is you.

Again, I'm not saying you have to approve of or like what he's doing, but you're going to make your life miserable.

So, how do you get along? It's about work. Yours and wherever yours intersects with his. That's it.

Leave the rest at the front door -- even if he's bragging about it.

[madhatters4]

you bite your tongue and you do it. we don't have to love our co-workers, employers, etc personalities we just have to work with them. what he does in his personal life you can disagree with but shouldn't have any bearing on your ability to work

[SnowedIn]

This.

[madhatters4]

thanks for MHO

[Anonymous]

You’re in a battle of your own creation, which to me is quite silly. I agree with your views — it is absolutely disgusting that he’s cheating, I cannot stand such selfish individuals myself. At the same time though, it has nothing to do with you, so why be outwardly resentful and hateful over a situation that isn’t yours? You’d save yourself a lot of grief if you stopped making his problem yours. The best way to get along is by focusing on your work and not the fact that he’s cheating.

[Asker]

Im not trying to be resentful. It’s just hard for me to hide my disdain for him. I still remain professional but I wonder if there is a way to avoid him without being obvious about it

[Opinion Owner]

I can’t tell you how to feel, but I really don’t feel like there should be outward disdain and hate to where you believe he’s even sensing it now. If he isn’t doing anything directly to you and you’re just mad that he’s cheating, it’s like you’re making his failing marriage your problem when it’s not at all.

[Asker]

The fact that I have to deal with a shitty person at work is unfortunately my business. I'm still polite but I don't make small talk with him and he finds that weird

[Opinion Owner]

Him cheating is not your business, because it has no direct effect on you. Is he being shitty to you personally? Because if so then that changes everything, but your grievance is only over him being a bad partner, then like I said, you are creating a battle where it doesn’t exist.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s like me finding out my boss blows all his money at casinos and indebted his family, this is absolutely disgusting in my opinion, but it has nothing to do with me. I’d never show outward hate because of his personal life choice.

[Asker]

Would you be thrilled to work with a sex offender? I don't think so

[Opinion Owner]

I genuinely hope there is solid proof of this and not just some office gossip, because that’s a serious accusation. But if it were really an issue for you, then why didn’t you mention that in your post at all? You’ve only spoken about him being a cheater, so the fact you’re throwing this accusation into the mix just comes off as you trying to validate yourself. Like to hell with him cheating, if he’s really a sex offender then that would be my literal only grievance.

[Asker]

lol he admits it himself. its not just gossip.

[Opinion Owner]

Okay, so why didn’t you mention this before if it was an actual issue for you? I think that would take way more priority than your distaste over a cheating scandal.

[Asker]

I said it in the post. read it again if you like

[Opinion Owner]

“I recently found out that my supervisor is cheating on his wife since he overshares and brags about his longterm affair with his coworker to everyone in the office. It makes me sick to my stomach and I have a feeling that he already picked up on the fact that I dislike him.”

Where does it state that he’s a sex offender?

[Asker]

Lol that was an analogy

[Opinion Owner]

An analogy to what? You said he is cheating on his wife with his coworker, and that’s it.