It started out 3 years ago, let's call him M, so we were in the same class, he was alright until we were in the same uni program that we got close.
I somehow fell for him that I confessed, he rejected me crystal clear because he said he doesn't want date anyone he can't live without. We remained close confidants to one another, texting, calling, going out twice a month.
But last year, I decided that still had feelings that I ended up ghosting him for a month or two, but he suddenly called in at 2 in the morning to tell me he had this one time thing he accidentally fucked this girl we both knew, because they were high and he's been feeling lonely. This girl knew very well that I liked this guy.
The whole conversation got so deep that, I was pissed at him and started calling him out. I said that whatever he did was not fair to me, because I did offer him to be fuck buddy but he didn't want it. I cried and I hang up.
He apologized, and took me weeks to just trying to accept his apology & reconnect with him.
After that incident, I realized, yeah maybe we're just meant to be friends and I'm willing to put things behind just be his friend considering the fact that he's a broken guy always goes to me to tell me about his problem and even cry at times.
We still go out, but things gotten more intimate lately, at times if we go out even with friends, we do drink from the same cup, share chapstick that even our circle thought we're dating. I keep getting this question about whether or not we're a thing.
I like us being friends , how laid back we are. But people's questions got me realizing he does these intimate gestures and that erks me. Kinda scared me a bit.
I don't know what to do? I don't want my judgment to be clouded by this confusion.
p/s : I go on dates with other people, likewise with him.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
First to answer your question: no, not at all. I've had guys reject me and we stayed friends, though it's rare. Mostly because I was so bitter and upset over being rejected, part of me didn't want to be just a "friend." But there were a handful of instances where yes, I stayed friends with guys that rejected me- and surprisingly it was for the best. Because I realized we make better friends than a partner. But! Big but here-
In order to be friends with someone that rejected you, you have to make peace that: they're not attracted to you, yet you are attracted to them. So you basically have to lose interest in him. That takes time. And they're going to eventually date someone else- are you okay with that and will you become jealous?
Hence why I'm only friends with a handful of guys that did that to me- doable, but rough.
Now as for you-
It sounds like your friend likes you, but not enough to date you. Basically he wants the perks of a relationship but not a relationship, so he's settling with a close "friendship" instead so he has the best of both worlds: a friend without fear of being hurt or rejected, yet almost all the perks of a girlfriend. Now it's up to you if you're okay being that sort of friend-
But will he ever date you or change his mind? LOL, probably not. You said yourself he's, "broken guy always goes to me to tell me about his problem and even cry at times." Meaning he's going to date all the wrong women, yet come to you when things go bad. Nah, I wouldn't put up with that. But that's just me.
You're back up plan bro...