Why do men feel the need to teach you what to do?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Today, I posted a photo with today’s outfit, hid the eyes with the title “When I know your soul, I’ll paint your eyes.” from Amadeo Modigliani.

My former college classmate messaged me, asking me what my title meant, which I know perfectly well he knew - was from a movie.

I explained him, those were Amadeo Modigliani’s words.

He said, “Amadeo was a cool guy. Would be better if you posed like in the painting.”

That’s the painting.

Why does he get offended if I post a photo that is not so modest as Modiglianni’s Jeanne?

I am sure that’s what he disliked. Me not being modest. I wear pants covering my body, I wear red blouse covering everything other than my shoulders. Nothing revealing.

Now what’s my fault if I still look immodest?

Updates

7 mo

Awwww

Okay, so he messaged me

He would love to see a photo of me with my eyes

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Like this.

And he said “I am such a deep and a creative person, Modiglianni’s muses would do nothing next to me, so I shouldn’t be hiding my eyes.”

I feel happy now…

Updates

7 mo

I guess, his strategy was to first get my attention by criticizing me and then give me compliments. He’s a manipulator.

[caring__1]

This is not about what men do, but what people do. We learn about criticism very early in life. Parents tend to use criticism to mold their kids into what the parents want (not necessarily what would be in the best interest of the child). No one likes to be criticized. When we feel criticized, we become resistant to change and less likely to take the feelings of the other person into consideration. It quickly establishes a power struggle... which no on will ever win.

Criticism is so common, we often aren't consciously aware of giving or receiving it. We just react to it. It has become the norm. People tend to legitimize criticism by relabeling it as constructive criticism. There is such a thing as constructive criticism, but most people are unable to actually define what it is. Let's say you want to improve your writing skills, so you take a creative writing course at your local college. When you get your assignments back, do you want to see "good" or "bad" written across the top of your paper? Would that satisfy you? No, you want to learn what worked and what didn't work and how you can improve your writing. When we seek the knowledge, what we get is constructive criticism. Any unsolicited advice will always be received as criticism.

As far as why people feel a need to mold others, that is often the result of seeing what we want to see rather than what actually exists, in any opportunity. Another reason, that is much more common with men, is men are conditioned to believe no one will approach them unless something is wanted of them. You may talk and just want to be heard, while he may feel you are seeking answers from him. If you're not clear that you just want an ear, not an answer, you're more likely to encounter guys who you perceive of as trying to fix you. You may say you're not broken and don't need to be fixed, but, if that's the case, be clear up front. Don't just start talking and expect him to know what you are seeking.

Also, female communication tends to be very circuitous, and guys often find it hard to follow what the key points are. When this happens, they'll often give a solution to get you to shut up and stop their discomfort. If you want a guy to listen to your sharing, you'll probably end up with fewer fixes if you supply him with a roadmap in the beginning... so he doesn't get lost or frustrated.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Your profile photo? I don't think that's immodest at all. First and foremost, you could be a grade school teacher in Spain and wear that and nobody would bat an eye. Secondly compared to just about any woman painted by any of the great masters. Haha, in the Leiden collection there is a piece, Rembrandt's "A Woman at her Toilet." She's wearing a full dress, but BOTH her shoulders are exposed. Would that drive him into a conniption as well, I wonder? Haha Escha van den Bogerd (shameless plug for someone I find quite talented... eschasgallery. com ) has a great many paintings he'd likely consider porn.

While I've made it known that I'm not one for simping, I've never been one for "neg'ing" either, which, after your updates, appears to be the weak version of what he was trying. Insult you mildly to get you engaged in conversation then compliment you afterwards once you're all worked up to feel like you converted him or he's seen the error of his ways.

[Grond21]

Men and women both can be very judgmental sometimes

[Still-alive]

It's called 'mansplaining.' i try to not do that so much lol.

[KostasKouvalis]

They like to assert their dominance and control

[Anonymous]

Ok can only speak for me. I only do so when it’s needed. I always ask if in a situation where trying to help people.

for example I hold a black belt in karate so if I’m working with a new student I would take a teaching roll.

[smilelots]

you look bored smiles

[eagle1951]

its in our dna lol

[jahaims]

It has nothing to do with gender lol

[SUMAIREBRAHIM]

He likes you