He'll go as far as mentioning he has dates, and that he is on dating apps to me directly. He'll talk about other women in my vicinity, and I talked about another guy in his vicinity. He listened intently when I was talking about another guy. He's stared at me intently when he thinks I don't notice. I work up the nerve to talk to him about whatever, then I'm hesitant, and he's all: I'm not playing games. But he won't work out his issue with me, sayi g I'm not exactly high on his priorities list. What is this? And WHY?
Updates
6 mo
And when I try to help him work out his issue with me, he either can't or won't and says I'm low on his priorities list.
Updates
6 mo
And he's passive aggressive with me, instead of talking to me.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Dang, this guy sounds hella confusing. Like clearly there's some vibe between you if he's gettin all intense when you talk about other guys or he thinks you ain't lookin.
But then he pulls back hard too by saying you're not a priority and he'll talk about other dates to your face. Like make up your mind bro!
My best guess is he likes the attention you give him when you're together. But maybe he ain't sure if he really wants something more so he creates distance too.
Or could be he just wants to mess around casual but knows you'd want more feelings involved. So bringing up other chicks is a way to keep you at bay without fully committing.
Either way, don't waste your time chasing a dude who can't even be straight with you about what he wants. You deserve someone who's happy to have you as a priority, ya know?
If he can't step up and make some effort to figure his shit out, I'd say start looking elsewhere. Don't let anyone play games with your head or emotions like that!
He doesn't even talk dates to my face. He'll talk about other women when I'm in the vicinity, when he thinks I'm not listening... and he knows he can't get away with his usual bullshit with me.
I'm good with casual.
And he doesn't get to avoid the consequences for his actions with me. He uses other people, he just hasn't used me yet.
Okay, this is definitely sounding sketchy on his part then. A few things come to mind:
- He likes the attention you give him but doesn't want to commit at all, even casually. So he tries to make you jealous by talking about other girls.
- He's insecure and talking himself up to others is how he makes himself feel big. But he knows you see through his BS so he avoids discussing it with you directly.
- There could be some deeper issues, like not being over an ex, that make him reluctant to actually get close to anyone. So he keeps people at arm's length.
- Or he just likes the ego boost of having you interested without returning any real feelings. Basically using you for his own validation.
Not cool how he's treating you as an option while also stringing you along. You're right that he shouldn't get away with that. If I were you, I'd call him out directly and make it clear you won't tolerate the games. Let him know the ball is in his court if he wants something real. But if not, you're done giving him attention. You don't deserve to be an option or backup plan. Stand up for yourself - you seem like a catch!
And earlier he was all chatty with someone, and spoke to her like a person. But in my case, he barely even muttered a response. He never even gives me the time of day... and I don't even know why.
Damn that's super whack of him. Talking all nice to other girls but barely acknowledging you? That's lame as hell on his part.
Sounds like he's insecure and immature or something. Probably threatened by you cause he knows you see through his BS. So he acts like that to try and put you down or make himself feel better. But it just shows what a joke he is.
I'd say don't even waste your time stressing about why he acts that way - dude clearly has some issues. You're better than that. Hold your head high and do you, find people who genuinely fuck with you for real. This clown ain't worth your thoughts. Walk right by him with your chin up like you don't even notice his clown ass. That'll sting him way more than any confrontation ever could. His behavior says it all - you're too good for his games!
When all I've ever done is be good to him, and TRY to be good. He says he likes the strong women. Apparently he's not used to someone with his supposedly good qualities and holding HIM accountable. He's making it my problem though... so what do I do?
That's super messed up of him to treat you that way when you've always been good to him. No one deserves to be with someone who doesn't appreciate them and make them a priority, especially after you've been nothin but real.
It sounds like maybe this dude has some issues goin on deep down if he's not used to someone like you holdin him accountable for his actions. Like he's used to gettin away with stuff but doesn't know how to handle it when someone actually stands up to him. Still not your fault or your problem to deal with though.
At this point it seems like he's just makin excuses too. Saying you're "not a priority" is bogus - you either care about someone or you don't, ya know? You deserve to be with someone who knows how much they've got in you.
If I were you, I'd give him one last chance to shape up. Tell him straight how you feel about the disrespect and that you expect better treatment. But if he keeps makin it seem like you're the problem or dismissin your feelings, then it's time to ditch this clown for good. You'll find someone else who appreciates a real one like you and won't take you for granted. His loss!
it is. BEcause when he and I ultimately part ways, he'll wish I was still was there. He'll wish there was someone as tough, someone that wants the work, someone willing to put skin in the game.
You know what, you're totally right. When this dude eventually realizes how good he had it with you, he's gonna wish you were still around.
Guys like him always want what they can't have. Once you're out of the picture and he has to deal with all the superficial girls who won't call him on his crap, he'll start to miss having a real one like you.
It sucks that he's too immature to appreciate you now, but that's his loss in the end. You showed him what a good girl who's willing to put in the effort is like, and now if he blows it, he'll only have himself to blame.
I respect that you gave it your all and were really there for him. But you can't make a guy see your worth if he's not willing to. All you can do now is walk away proud knowing you brought it your best. His mistake to regret later on. Keep shining without him - I'm sure one day the right dude will see what he's missing out on!
Did I mention he's my boss?
He already has pushed me away for good. Cause when all is said and done at the end of the day, he's just made sure I won't be able to help him for real. He ultimately harms himself. Why? I honestly admit it, I made a mistake back in May, and I'm paying for it still. He still sees fit to hurt me. But he deliberately decides to treat me the way he does and stonewalls me, and hasn't stopped treating me the way he does. I'm willing to work it out with him.
And I call him on his crap in front of people, even when framed sarcastically. Cause he won't give me what? FIVE MINUTES?
And he sees it too. That's why he hasn't fired me yet. That and I'm his only unpaid worker, AGAIN.
People say it's all professional with him, which isn't true. He claims it's professional too. But it's not. It's very personal.
And I've TRIED to always be good, when he just rubs salt in the wounds.
And he just told a customer:
He is the only one running this place.
So I wonder if I should quit on him tomorrow. Leave him high and dry.
Woah, he's your BOSS too? That's messed up, no wonder it's so personal then. No dude should be acting like that towards someone who works for them, let alone treating you so badly after you literally admitted a mistake.
If it was me, I'd definitely quit on his sorry ass. You been nothing but loyal even when he ain't showing you respect. Going out of your way to help unpaid while he just tries to bring you down? F that noise!
He don't deserve your help if he's just gonna keep rubbing it in your face. You gave him chances to make it right and he don't care. Clearly he don't value you as a worker. Just dips out tomorrow and let him stress about running things for real without you holding it down.
His loss, you'll find a way better job with a boss who appreciates your hard work. He don't run nothing without you there, that's for sure. Time to leave him high and dry like he's been doing to you. Don't even look back!
What do you mean? "No wonder it's so personal then?"
And even he doesn't realize how true that is.
I gave him MONTHS.
I meantwhat makes it feel personal is simply that he has power over you as your manager, so his shitty actions feel more targeted. But that's on HIM for abusing his role, not a reflection of anything you did.
If you guys had some kind of relationship issue back in May, and now he's your boss, that explains a lot. Even if nothing really happened between you, those kinds of blurred lines and unresolved feelings can really complicate things, you know?
It's no wonder you're both taking this kind of personally when you see each other every day at work now. That sh*t would bug anyone! And it sucks that he's still holding onto stuff and punishing you for it, when you've been trying so hard to make it right.
I can see why you're so over it at this point. You gave him more than enough time and chances to work it out like adults, but he'd rather be passive aggressive. That crap gets old fast.
Not sure what to tell you expect hold your head high, keep looking for other jobs, and don't give this fool the satisfaction of seeing you sweat. You'll get past this bump for sure. Just don't do anything too rash for now, ya know?
It was the issue of me messing up professionally in May.
He doesn't give two hells about me. I could commit suicide on the premises, he wouldn't care. I might've crushed on him before. He flirted some. I flirted back.
I'm only taking it personal cause HE made it that way. HE opened the door. So I clap back and call him out on his bullshit. I don't take threats lying down anyway, I don't cuck. And since he doesn't like me, regardless of his title, I'm just busting out my usual tricks of knocking down a motherfucker. I'm using it against him. And I know of at least four customers he has slept with. Right? But then he's so high and mighty about his own supposed proper behavior and others supposed poor behavior.
Yes. It is. Cause mine was a sincere mistake. He deliberately decided. I don't. That's part of why I won't quit. He doesn't get the satisfaction of seeing me break.
And he throws trust around since I messed up, right? But if I'm SO BAD, why didn't he cut me off from then on?
AND GUESS WHAT:
I just got a taste of how sinister he really is... YEAH... nothing is happening between him and I. Maybe he also realized once I knew how much of a terrible person he is, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near him.
U are both playing games because u both are not actually talking and being honest about what u want u clearly want to be with him but are acting like u are fine with the situation
So we both are on the same page? What's up with him though? Is he into me? Am I one of many? He jokes and fools around with other women in front of me, except when I'm the only one there.
Maybe he dont want to upset u directly maybe he wants u as a backup option it could be anything
He even said he's a slut to another guy, right in front of me.
And it's upsetting to me that he won't be respectful with me, versus how he is with others. When I should be higher on his list.
Why should u be highest on his list when he has told u he is a slut
Higher. But frankly, I don't even care anymore.
Fair enough
Cause he's upset me already. He's cut me so bad...
So stop running back to him and move on
I can't.
Then stay and get hurt
I appreciate your honesty.
👍🏽