Guys, Do men in love wait to have sex or because they are in love have sex?

[Anonymous]

I know I will NOT go back to my ex yet he said that the only reason he wanted to have sex with me was b/c he loved me. I thought men don't consider having sex when in love. Especially early on so what he said confused me b/c I was always taught that if a man loves you he won't have sex with you. I know he will think about it but may not wan't you to think that that is all he wants. He will wait as long as it takes even until marriage and definitely won't do anything sexual early on. But he said basically the opposite. So is there any truth to what my ex said or all lies. Only men that were or are in love answer please.

Men have sex with you because they are in love

Men in love will wait until marriage

[Lliam]

Neither option is true for me.

I don't need to know for sure that I'm in love before having sex with a girlfriend. I may be infatuated, but that's not the same as love.

For me, true love means that I'm sure she's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I have to know someone intimately before I can be certain of that.

Regarding the second option: I would never consider even dating a woman who was "saving herself" for marriage. If we weren't in a fully committed relationship, I couldn't know if we were compatible. And fully committed includes sex. I need to know if we are sexually compatible. Sexual compatibility is as important as other aspects of compatibility.

Plus, my values would not align with someone who thought sexual "purity" was a virtue. I prefer a woman who is mentally healthy, has self respect, is choosy about her partners, but also has a strong libido, is heterosexual, orgasmic, loves sex, and is good at it.

There is no way that the promise of future sex would bribe me to sign my life away. She could find some other dupe.

[Asker]

Thank you for your insight. I find this helpful.

[RespectfulGuy]

I belonged to the 2nd category.

I waited and not have sex until I married her (now. My wife for nearly 30 years).

Perhaps I'm the traditional type.

I felt that girls have dignity too and deserving of respect.

Hence when dating, we discussed future pursuits and goals, engaged only in outdoor public activities and do charity together.

Then we married and lose our virigity to each other which we both agreed are very special to us.

And started our sex-filled lifestyle for many years.

Ya, no regrets.

But hey, I can only speak for myself. Your guys could be different. You need to communicate and then make your decision.

[Asker]

I guess I am more traditional as well because that is what I want. Thank you for sharing your perspective. As far as my ex goes he is my ex for good reason.

[RespectfulGuy]

And I sincerely wish you find your life's partner and lasting happiness.

[Asker]

Thank you so much :-)

[Leowolf13]

I won’t have sex unless it’s with the person I love. My feelings are that if I fall in love, I respect my woman’s choice whether she wants to wait or not. When I’ve been in love, I definitely have marriage on my mind. But it has happened where we decided not to wait. I thought we would get married eventually so my partner and I just started early. Unfortunately she broke it off. When I’m in love I want to share every part of me with her, but if sex is something she wants to wait on, I’ll wait, too.

[Asker]

Good to know. I like your perspective! :-)

[Leowolf13]

Thank you, I hope you find a good man with like minded values.

[Asker]

O, I know he will find me. Not my job to find him :-) Thank you so much

[smilelots]

that is fcuked up if you ask me the way you said that if men loves you they won't have sex with you wow what does that mean ,, two people in love sex is normal , sex is normal for hubby and wife , sex is normal for boyfriend and girlfriend at the right age , its part of life for most of us in this world or there would be no humans.. your statement about if you love a woman you won't have sex with her ,, if you dont like sex thats different. its how we are made most of us anyways right.. to keep on having humans on earth..

[Asker]

I meant if you really love a woman you just met you won't have sex with her right away bc you don't want her to think thats all your about. Right? You want to get to know her mind 1st. How she ticks.

[Jamie05rhs]

It's actually both. For the most part, when I am in love with a woman, I DON'T want to have sex with her... YET. (Because I'm a Christian. It might be different for nonreligious people.)
... BUT, there are certain times when I might have certain thoughts. (And not because I'm trying to!! It's not my fault!) [The key, though, of course, is that you put those thoughts away and don't give them any attention.]

[Asker]

I can relate to this. We have the same Faith. Thank you for sharing.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thank you so much. ❤️

[Jamie05rhs]

by the way, I think your ex was lying. But that's just my opinion.

[Asker]

I believe you are right. Lust and love are 2 different things. Thank you :-)

[Jamie05rhs]

You're welcome!

[strateguy632]

it depends what he thinks you want. "men don't consider having sex when in love. Especially early on" is usually false

[Asker]

Thank you for the correction. Good to know.

[DextroShade]

Men will wait until marriage under the following conditions:

• The guy is religious
• The woman is a legit virgin
• The marriage will happen within a year

This idea that a woman can fuck Chad and Tyrone and then miraculously find Jesus and expect the good guy to wait around for years with no sex while he's still paying to take her out on dates is fucking stupid and asinine.

[Asker]

Informative. The 1st 2. But he's my ex for many reasons.

[Anonymous]

lot of people want to hammer out things like sexual and lifestyle compatibility before they reach the "in love" stage, because realizing you're incompatible that far in and having to break up really really fucking sucks.

[Opinion Owner]

And if she isn't giving me sex, I'm going to break up with her, regardless of how much I love her. I wasn't looking for just a friend.

I don't know where you came up with the idea that men won't have sex if they're in love.

[Asker]

Thank you for your perspective.

[Asker]

What about courting? Dating exclusively with the purpose of marriage.

I came up with the idea from lots of things for example Jamie Foxx's music video "you changed me" where he discusses he didn't have sex with the woman he really liked.

[Opinion Owner]

To me, waiting to have sex until marriage is crazy. There's two things I need to know before I can promise someone forever- we are sexually compatible, and we have to live together before marriage.

I'm not trying to be judgmental, but I don't think people who wait until marriage really thought it through. I don't think it's smart to just cross your fingers and hope hope that you enjoy having sex with the person you're supposed to be with for the rest of your life.

[Asker]

Interesting.

[spartan55]

It never ceases to amaze me the bad relationship advice/information passed around amongst girls. I mean like real bad.

[LiamJHayden]

Depends upon the guy. If I do not love her I will not get intimate, period.