Is it just platonic?

[Anna1725]

Best friend of the guy I’m seeing says I love you to me casually and once bought me a red rose. He says he will leave all girls if I ask him to come to me and I asked him but why to which he said because I love you in a funny way. He holds my hand in clubs and says he likes taking care of me.
Is it normal or platonic, or not
Or it’s just me who is overthinking.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's a weird situation. On one hand he says it's just friendly and joking around, but some of that stuff like the rose, holding your hand, saying he'd leave other girls for you - that seems kinda flirty to me.

I'd say trust your gut feeling. If it makes you uncomfortable at all then there's probably something more there on his side, even if he claims it's platonic. Guys don't usually do that kind of stuff with girls they see as just friends.

I'd have a serious talk with him and set some clear boundaries. Let him know you value his friendship but aren't interested in anything else. See how he reacts - does he back off or still keep pushing it? That will tell you a lot.

Also watch out for your friend who's dating this guy. Wouldn't wanna step on anyone's toes or mess up their relationship. Maybe give the friend a head's up too just in case.

At the end of the day don't ignore your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. Don't be afraid to pull back if this guy keeps overstepping platonic lines with you. Your comfort is most important here.

[Anna1725]

Oh he is the one who’s probably gonna ruin my relationship as he is the best friend of the guy I’m dating.
We have been good friends and I know him through my boyfriend only. But this casually saying I love you and yes he subtly flirts. I mean no one says I love you to a friend that casually. Also he is not respecting the boundaries or the boy code as he knows his friend and I we are into each other.

[Oliverlogan263]

That's messed up. I'd be super pissed if my best friend did that to a girl I was seeing. That guy definitely knows what he's doing, saying "I love you" and flirting. No way he thinks of you as just a friend. And he's definitely crossing boundaries. Your boyfriend needs to know what's going on before things go too far. His friend is being a snake. I'd tell your man exactly what his friend is saying and doing. Don't leave anything out. See how he reacts and what he says to his friend. If it was me, that dude would be out of my life so fast. Don't let this drag on or get worse. Nip it in the bud ASAP before it screws things up with you and your boyfriend. You don't need that drama messing things up.

[Anna1725]

Oh they have been friends since childhood and I don’t know how to drop this on him. Though he noticed it and he kind of said it that he doesn’t like that his friend was clicking pictures with me but didn’t say it directly but I kind of sensed this. And he calls him his brother , I’m very confused about how should I tell him this it would probably ruin their friendship. But he clearly should not trust him with this. Would you drop your lifelong friend if he did something like this?

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that's a really tough situation. On one hand, you don't wanna mess up a childhood friendship. But on the other, his friend is totally disrespecting your relationship. I get why you're confused on what to do. If it was me, I'd try talking to my boy first, just be real with him about what's been going on with his friend and how it's making you feel. Don't accuse, just tell him the facts and that you're worried it could cause problems. Hopefully he'll understand where you're coming from. Then maybe suggest he has a talk with his friend, set some clear boundaries that he can't be flirting with you or saying weird stuff. Hopefully they can work it out. But if his friend keeps crossing the line after that, then your boy might have to choose between you or him. Sucks it has to come to that, but bros before hoes and all that. I'd want my girl to feel comfortable, not worried about some dude messing with her head. Just be honest and see how he handles it first before any big decisions need to be made.

[Oliverlogan263]

And if your boyfriend’s friend who’s supposed to be his childhood friend was a real friend, he would never be interested or look at you that way as you are his girl. I would never look at my childhood best friends girl no type of way and only see her like a sister as long she treat him right and he treat her right also you know. Now you ask me if I drop him as a lifelong friend, i would be hurt but i would in a heartbeat

[Anna1725]

Sure I will try to talk. I’m maintaining my distance from him and maintaining boundaries but I have to tolerate him because of my boyfriend. So it’s a huge disrespect and it’s difficult. But thank you for advice and help.
Means a lot.
Gold bless.

[Anna1725]

Oh you’re right. There’s a clear boy code and he is no friend to him. And I just don’t wanna hurt him and put him in that situation where it comes down to dropping his friend and get hurt but I wish he would see things himself. Everyone noticed it and I hope he does too.

[Oliverlogan263]

For sure girl, keeping your distance from that dude is the best move for now. And you definitely shouldn't have to tolerate someone disrespecting you like that. Just remember that you didn't do anything wrong here - this is on him for crossing lines. I know it's tough not wanting to hurt your guy either, but at some point he's gotta see how his "friend" is hurting YOU. Hopefully some of your other friends mentioning it to him casually will help open his eyes. Bros are supposed to have each other's backs, not go behind them. He should want to make you feel like his number one priority. If he truly cares, I'm sure he'll choose you when it comes down to it. But I get not wanting that big a blow up between them either. All you can do for now is look out for yourself first. His friend is the one in the wrong here. Stay strong girl, I'm sure it'll work out the right way for you in the end! Just keep honest communication with your man.

[Oliverlogan263]

And you’re always welcome, I’m here if you need help on more advice okay?

[DarkWinterNights]

I would proceed with caution. Sounds like a hot and cold type of player.

[ThrillSeeker01]

Once it becomes physical too it's no longer platonic.

[spartan55]

Leave what 'all girls'?

[Anna1725]

Yeah, like girls around him as I was teasing him about some girls hitting on him.

[spartan55]

Wow, how noble of him.

[Anna1725]

Haha! So is he like into me? As I sense.

[spartan55]

Don't know. Don't go by something like this though. That is foolish.

[Kyr0s]

Probably not platonic