Some lunchtimes I drive to get lunch. Sometimes Co-workers, including male co-workers, ask to come with me and we’ll go to some cafe and get lunch.
I told my fiancé and I think he’s a little jealous and doesn’t want me to. Should I stop or not?
Well if he’s met then he may have picked up on something that doesn’t sit well w him. Even if he has t met then, if you’re cute men know what other men want from cute women. It’s not so much that men don’t trust you, unless she’s given him a good reason to. It’s that men don’t trust other men because they know what they’re thinking. It’s like when women want to go out to clubs w their girls. A lot of men may not like it. Not because of insecurity but because again we know what these men are after. Imagine your boy wanted to go out w his male friends. Now imagine women were like men. He goes out w his friends to a club where there just happens to be a lot of women. Now imagine all these women trying to pick him up, buying him drinks, trying to sleep w him, maybe even take him from you. How would you feel? Most women would not be ok w that. Now imagine if he was taking women out in his car to get lunch. Would you be ok w that? Plus if he’s paying for the car, there’s no way I want some other dudes riding in my car.
Has your fiancé met your coworkers in person? Or heard any stories of you guys doing stuff in the past? If so, and I don't mean to point fingers at anyone by this, but he sees something in them that you don't. We as guys understand other men and we instantly recognize and see the signs when a guy is attracted to a girl and is trying to get in their pants.
Are all your coworkers mostly other men? Are you guys "good friends" and are all super close to one another? Have you guys all broken the touch barrier (hugs and the like are common b/w you guys)? Have you ever experienced signs from them where they were playfully flirting with you and/or complimenting you? If so, I'd be wary.
I’d suggest you to respect his opinion and prioritize your relationship with your partner over having lunch with your male coworkers.
My partner (ex) was a possessive man who trusted no one.
In the beginning of our relationship, I had a male best friend who had confessed me his feelings beforehand, my partner didn’t like the fact that we were still friends. It was difficult for me to give up on a friendship with someone I considered as a friend but I think that was the right thing to do for the peace of mind of my partner and for gaining his trust.
Overtime he developed such a deep trust with me that when we broke up he told me “I have never trusted anyone more than you. I’d trust you with all I have. Thank you for teaching me how to trust and how to love.”
Maybe it ended, but I take pleasure in the fact to know that there was a man who trusted no one and he trusted me.
If he paid for the car in any kind of way, respect his wishes. If it's not his car, and you are truly doing nothing wrong and it's completely innocent, you have 2 choices. Either stop because (Your Reason Here), or just dont tell him. Honestly, you know your life. Is an hour with these random coworkers worth the bullshit that you'll face at home vs. an eternity of peace with your man? If it's really all innocent then you guys need to talk about his unwarranted jealousy and ask what you can do to make him feel more secure
Opinion
14Opinion
i would say honor his wishes
he may be jealous and “controlling”. you’re at the point where you’re marrying this man. try and pick your battles
so honor this one. he’ll think the world of it. if another one comes up, decide for yourself how harmless or how unreasonable it is and act accordingly. you’ll probably need to have a conversation at some point but no need to pick a fight about the smaller thing
there’s a sense of self-respect and power that comes with honoring your man. and i don’t mean in an obey and be subordinate way. just knowing what he’s like and doing things for him that you wouldn’t have necessarily done if you were on your own , it should be pleasurable
You could tell your male co workers you will go but want other females in the car with you when you go for food. I try to avoid getting close to single guys cause you are too nice and you might be sending the wrong signal to them. Girls will never assume you want to date them if you are nice to them but I've had guys accuse me of leading them on when I was nice to them and did not want to date them and I had guys I did not even like think I was hitting on them just because I was nice to them.
That's totally innocent. You can stop if you want, but he's showing a bit too much jealousy, which us a red flag. I suggest you talk with him, let him know it's completely innocent, thst it's important to maintain good working relationships, and see how he reacts.
It's up to you. Obviously he's jealous. If you get satisfaction out of being submissive to his desires (ie preventing you from getting lunch with your male co-workers), then be a good girl and give him what your finance demands of you. If you don't share this need to comply with his demands, tell him that either he can trust you and know that you are not going to do anything with these guys, or find somebody else, as most likely he'll be trying to control you like this your entire married life.
I agree with your fiancé. Are there no women to go to lunch with? If you can't appreciate that in a mate then I feel sorry for you.
Men out here wanting their girlfriend and wives to screw other dudes which shows their complete dehumanization and objectification of them.
I would ask him if he doesn't trust you. Being jealous is one thing; controlling your life is another...
Maybe you have some things to work on... But I for sure wouldn't let my fiancé openly doubt me.
Your fiancé is correct. You don't need to be going for lunch with them. Your fiancé is looking out for you. Bring your own lunch sit in your own car and stop going with the crew. You are not single anymore.
It's completely normal for co-workers to go to lunch together. That includes men and women going together. He's upset over nothing and trying to control you. Don't let him do it.
Anon... ask yourself why you want to go with them? Do you like the attention? Do you flirt? Are you keeping your options open?
Regardless, if it makes your fiancee uncomfortable you should reevaluate. He owes the same to you.
As a wife I wouldn't give rides to any male co-workers to avoid any conflicts with my husband.
I hate controlling people……. tell your fiancé to be respectful of your decision. Who knows what else they will tell you not to do!
I don’t know how I’d feel about my boyfriend/husband going to lunch with women at work. It’s not something anyone would be crazy about, tbh. If it’s a group of both guys and girls, sure. Otherwise it’s just odd.
No, you shouldn't. If you are going to cheat on him, you will find a way. If he doesn't trust you, he shouldn't marry you.
If it's part of a group with other women there it's fine, but if it's just you and a guy it's HARAM and you need to stop!
Of course you should stop it is disrespectful to your partner.
Do you respect your fiancé and his feelings? If so, then stop going out to lunch with your coworkers.
He sounds controlling and insecure. I have lunch with coworkers and meetings with men all the time, it is part of business.
If he went on lunch dates with other women would you be ok with it?
We’ll just think about how you would feel if he took a girl from his work place out for lunch. Do you think that’s a good idea for him to do?
call off the engagement. he doesn't trust you. why would you marry someone who doesn't trust you?
You can also add your opinion below!
