He chose another girl over me but came back?

[Anonymous]

So I was talking to this guy, and we got along really well. We both knew each other were talking to other people which was fine, but then he started asking me for advice on one of the other girls he was talking to. I don’t know if I have any right to be but I felt a bit hurt by this and my self esteem took a bit of a hit and I said I needed space and stopped talking to him. He said he understood and said that it meant a lot to have me in his life and that I had helped him through a lot. We didn’t talk for probably around 6 months following this until the other day when he messaged me and I guess I’m just asking for a man’s perspective on why? Why choose another girl and then come back six months later?

[_Maya_]

To me this sounds like he viewed you as a friend and you were hoping for more than that. You offer some good clues as to why that probably is the case. One is that he goes to you for advice. That is what friends do. The biggest thing that sticks out is he wanted advice about another girl. That tells me he viewed or still views you as a friend and never had thoughts of being more than that. As to why he came back? Well he gave you space and quite a bit of it (6 months). I am guessing that he is hoping things can get back to normal and you want to be friends. The question is if that is something you want.

[Asker]

I thought maybe this is what happened, so I asked him if I had been friend zoned and he said no. Unless he only said this to not hurt my feelings. We also sent *pics* and so looking at it now, maybe he was using me? But then why would he open up to me about personal stuff and then say he valued having me in his life? I’m very confused

[_Maya_]

Okay so this is only a guess given the extra details you just told me. So he may open up to you and be all personal because he is putting in the "work" so that you stick around. Look at it this way... would you send these pics (not sure what kinda pics) if that is all he asked for? Prob not I would guess. So he puts in the work to get to know you so that you let your guard down a bit. If that is the case then I think you are right that he was using you. This is purely a guess from someone outside looking in.

[Gent207-2]

Rebounding mixed with an inability to decide. He likes the high of two women wanting him. Lord knows I did back in high school

[Danny_dan92]

Boy wants all the pussy in the world

[Anonymous]

You’re a rebound and a second option.

[In_Trance]

So why did you let him