I just turned 18 and I can not longer use being a minor to ward off creeps. How can I stop older men from speaking to men or following me?

[Anonymous]

Since I was around 14 I've been catcalled by adult men some of which knew my age and didn’t care and others who just assumed I looked older. It’s not even teenage boys, 95% of guys my age know never to follow or shout sexual explicativas at a woman. I’ve always loved makeup and dressing up and I start doing that around high school but it was still pretty clear I was no where near “adult” looking.

I’m now 18 and I’m only going to get older of course before I could use the im a minor excuse and at least some would leave me alone. I don’t know how adult women ward off creeps and catcalls especially the ones that follow you or try to wait around to see if you’ll pass by again etc.

Of course I can still use the minor excuse now but in the future what do I use? I don’t get why men do this especially since they’re always incredibly old and it’s just scary. Just because I’m 18 doesn’t mean it makes any sense for a 35-40+ year old man to be interested in me. How should I respond to stay safe?

[lightbulb27]

oh some, the older they get the more desperate they become. If they die without reproducing... they are gone for eternity, their body knows that. So you are their "super hero"... the ability to make another life in their image and complete them is a powerful thing. For such, you aren't going to deter them unless you dress the part.

It may be what you body or face says. If you look female and project emotionally certain ways, they may be aggressive. So work on your resting bi! ch face, wear a ring, look unavailable, dress ugly as heck. That will help.

Mother Teresa didn't get hit on that much... see what she did...

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I know how you feel, I felt the same way at that age. It caused me huge discomfort to get the attention of those men.
I found them creepy and disgusting.

Which caused me to stay away from older men and seek out the presence of males my age or around.

Then I realized all men are like that. And what us, women might find creepy, they feel like is totally normal and okay.

The thing is, they will be the same when they are 40,50,60,70,80 - there will always be a new 18 yo to be attracted to…

So, it’s your job to protect yourself from unwanted attention while you are in that age bracket when you can be easily taken advantage of.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That being said, I grew up and realized they are not as disgusting as I thought them to be, we all appreciate the beauty of youth. Some 40 yo women like 18 yo boys too.

[Asker]

I don’t believe all men are disgusting and this hasn’t affected my love life i just hate gross men who feel it’s acceptable to
catcall women

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t think they are either, I just describe my feelings when I was 18. At that time I found that attention very creepy. Especially that it started very early at 14-15. I was creeped out by some married men being interested in me. I was feeling like why should I keep forward to falling in love with a man, if married men end up showing interest into 15 yo girls who are younger than their daughters. So it kind of caused me trauma, which I overcame thankfully and I no longer have those negative feelings that I had in my teens.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Also, you can’t stop men being attracted to you. You can only control how you respond, you can respectfully decline.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

And you can ignore cat callers. At 15-16, I had 40-50 year old men, following me and shouting how sexy my ass was.

I ignored… But I was very frustrated by their actions.

[BasedBaeBecca]

What they want you do is respond to them, any attention or reaction from you is what they thrive on.

You need to work on your poker face and keep your cool, it can be hard not to respond to anyone but you can learn to stay quiet and calm.

Don't show any reaction or response to their comments and keep walking.

A good pair of headphones or AirPods can go a long way too in the meantime.

[hahahmm]

1. Wear a fake ring on your wedding finger. This will eliminate all of the guys looking for deeper relationships.

2. If a guy steps up to you don't smile. Calmly say: "My boyfriend killed the last guy who tried to mess with me." Then pull out your phone & keep walking.

3. Do not even think about going out alone at night or into secluded places alone even in the daytime. Don't listen to feminists who claim women are strong & able to fight off men. They're not men and don't understand the real risks.

There's a reason why for most of human history women married guys for protection.

[SeymourBill420]

Well, first what I would do is I would definitely get a better taste in guys. You're an adult now, you should be sinking adults in that little boys. And men don't usually grow up at least until after the 30s. So really what I would do is I would actually get some taste and guys. And then you're going to be treated like a princess

[Asker]

I have nothing in common with a 40 year old man. Being interested in barely legal girls is perverse. Why date someone who is young enough to be your daughter

[SeymourBill420]

Well, if somebody is old enough to elect a politician into office, and if somebody is old enough to enlist in the military and be givin an ar-15. I think they are cognitively able if they were allowed to pull a trigger at 18 years old at a human being, then they reserve the right to make the decision on who they want to hang around with or do whatever with.
It might be true that you may not have any kind of thinking common with a 40 year old man. But a lot of girls nowadays don't know what is good for them. Girls used to know what was good for them. But all of a sudden within the past 20 years they don't know what's good for them. I can't control that. But throughout history it is very normal that a younger girl likes an older guy. Why would a man like Hugh Hefner, have a bunch of girls all over him that are young enough to have been his granddaughter. And, you can label with somebody as perverse all you want. But, I'm definitely sure there's a lot more fucked up things about you. But, everybody always thinks that what somebody else does is worse than what they do.

[Asker]

dude i’m a teenage girl i am not more perverse than an adult man attracted to underage girl. just admit your a predator who likes minors

[SeymourBill420]

@Asker you are not going to twist this. You never said you were a minor you said you just turned 18. You are not a minor. Did you forget what your own self said? But, I was not ever necessarily referring to you and i.
Your question pertained to warding off creeps and you not being able to use the excuse of a minor. I never said that I would ever whistle at you or talk shit to you on the street. And I never said I had any interest in you. So, we were talking about older guys in general that doesn't mean somebody my age. And, you cannot say that you and I wouldn't have anything in common I probably think we would have at least a few things in common since I do not act my age.

[SeymourBill420]

And, I probably wouldn't even advance you because you're an immature cocky little girl. And I would not be able to handle that. So right there that would make you unattractive. And I don't base if I want to be with somebody on how they look. I at least wait till they open up their mouth. And, typically your girls your age would get eliminated as a possibility for me.

[7Phoenix7]

Yeah, it happens to all of us. You have to get used to it honestly. As a minor, I kept pepper spray in my pocket and learned to not respond to cat calls. The more you respond, the more they do it. At 18 I was with my boyfriend, and I'd just say I had a boyfriend. Some would still try to talk to me but I was so used to it.. became kind of numb to it. And yeah, having a car will help lol.

[BoopBoopBeep]

People are allowed to speak to you. You don't get to silence them preemptively. Learning to deal with that is part of being an adult. You don't have to entertain them if they're creepy. You don't have to engage and you can tell them to go the F away, but they're going to talk to you and you can't stop that.

[hahahmm]

I think which city you're in really matters. A woman telling a man to F off in NYC would not be a surprise to anybody and the guy wouldn't think it was a big deal. A woman doing that in a small town might get her punched in the face or who knows what, depending on who she said it to. in my opinion. On the other side of that.. If you're a woman in a city with 8 million people, the odds of some perv seeing you on the street and following you is going to be higher than if you live in the middle of nowhere!

[BoopBoopBeep]

@hahahmm I've seen more women punched in large cities "for mouthing off" than I've seen in small towns... i don't know about that.

[hahahmm]

@BoopBoopBeep Yeah, you can get punched for mouthing off. Just never saw it for a woman saying no to a guy approaching. Not saying it doesn't happen tho as I only lived in big cities for the first half of my life or so. Politeness is the best policy. I told my wife not to be mouthing off to men EVER. It's like a lamb daring a lion to pounce.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@hahahmm I left big cities about 10 years ago. Unfortunately I still work in one, but I try to keep that to a minimum. Politeness is a lot higher where I live. So is the number of people carrying a sidearm, but I'm not going to assume that is a correlation since I don't actually know how many people were illegally carrying in the big city. Here we may mouth off, but for the most part we don't lay hands on one another because we understand the reciprocal violence that can be delivered upon us.

The rudest people are the ones who have made it through life without ever getting hit in the face.

[hahahmm]

Agree.

[normalice]

They catcall so you pay attention to them. Don't do that and I suspect they will leave you alone like they do every other woman who ignores them.

[Ladyblanche]

Exactly

[NamerOfStars]

Why on Earth would it not make sense for a 35-40+ year old man to be interested in you? Is modern education THAT bad?

[nonyabeez-wax]

Buy a fake wedding and engagement ring. It won't stop all, but it will stop some. But he warned, it'll also stop the good ones.

[Apple1996]

Gotta learn how to defend yourself and fight these men off. It's not easy

[Asker]

Honestly I don’t believe as a woman I can fight off an adult man. There are biological strength differences. I’ll keep some pepper spray or a pocket knife on me though

[Apple1996]

You have to learn how to mess with the men mentally. It's not always a physical fight

[Asker]

I don’t want to engage with a catcalled that much I just don’t want to be followed

[Asker]

catcaller**

[JacobJordan]

Very smart to recognize that. Too many women think they have a shot. Get a gun, mace a whistle, tazer etc. As for the catcalling my first thought would be how are you dressed. I get it how dare a man dictate how you dress and all that. Not saying that. Merely pointing out a noticeable difference from my own life. My wife is very attractive she dresses modestly (by choice) she never gets catcalled or approached whether I am present or not. Where as my buddy's wife dresses... mmm more revealing. She gets catcalled and approached A LOT with and without him there it is actually a source of tension between the 2. Obviously not a 100% certainty that the way you dress will help (bit unfortunate really). Outside of that your best option put in a headphone/s and walk with purpose, confidence. Terrible analogy for my own gender but it fits for this situation. Kidnappers, assaulters etc all look for women who lack confidence, purpose they seem lost or confused or unsure of where they are or where they are going. A lot of guys look for romantic partners in a similar fashion because it allows them to be the hero. So if you project confidence and some self assurance without being overly rude or disrespectful you will be just fine.

Lastly as an aside I have seen plenty of young women say "I should be able to walk alone at night and feel safe" I absolutely agree however that is not the world we live in so please be on the phone, get a friend, call for a ride etc over walking alone at night.

[DextroShade]

Female self-defense is a joke as you females simply lack the strength to fight off an adult male. It's not as easy as kicking him in the balls either because a lot of guys would see that move coming because it's basically the only shot you have.

[Apple1996]

@JacobJordan how a woman dresses doesn't matter. I know women that completely cover up because of their religion and still get cat called.
And it's definitely possible to walk alone at night if the woman thinks she can handle it

[Apple1996]

@DextroShade there is more than fighting. It's all a mental game in my opinion

[DextroShade]

Trying to play mental games won't stop a fist from knocking your teeth out. If anything it might just incur further punches.

[JacobJordan]

That is why I said it is not a 100% certainty. It does certainly help. Also mind games don't work on vast majority of men I would highly advise against doing that. Let's not give women awful advice when it comes to dealing with potentially life threatening situations. Men are vastly superior to women when it comes to physicality even on an average scale. Self defense if done properly can help but it doesn't hold a candle to a gun, mace, tazer or other items. I taught my wife some basic self defense things as a result of a less than pleasant family relative of hers. I explained to her beforehand that I would be using real world force without real world consequences. Not to mention I drilled into her the most important rule of self defense. If you don’t know the person they don't need to be within 6 feet. If they are you take a step back. Whether it is possible to walk outside alone at night does not mean it is a good idea. You may not know this but men are more at risk of being attacked and yet women ARE attacked more. Why? Because women are more likely to put themselves in risky situations. Men do not do that because we know it is risky. It would be great if everyone could do whatever they wanted without having to consider being assaulted or killed or raped but we do not live in such a world so one has the responsibility to take reasonable precautions to protect one's self. Part of that is not putting one's self in risky situations.

[Nikki1989]

It might slow down, but it won't stop. Men are creepy in that regard and always will be.

[DextroShade]

Get a boyfriend who they would be afraid of, not like a thug or criminal but a guy who is tall, masculine, and in shape. If he's with you they will stay away.

[Asker]

Not sure where to find a guy like that

[Jerre]

You are just as safe, if not safer, with 35-40+ men than much younger men.

[SeymourBill420]

Oh she is definitely a lot more safer with somebody 35 to 40 that is for sure. This is one of the reasons why girls nowadays are getting hurt a lot because the preferring the little fuck boys, and not like the real men like girls did 20 years ago plus. And they go on to have successful relationships and marriages. Versus the girls nowadays who only screw around with the little boys. And they don't know what a real man is. Then they get hurt by the several little boys, and then it changes their whole outlook on men and relationships because they didn't choose the right crowds to go along with. Which is why it wasn't until about 20 years ago did the word creep or creeper be invented. Because girls in the good old days, they were smart enough back then to seek out guys in that age bracket and they'd be pleased in multiple ways. But girls nowadays are not smart enough to know what's good enough for them like they used to be

[Asker]

@SeymourBill420 A man shouldn’t be interested in a barely legal girl young enough to be is daughter that’s perverse. No I am not safer with a groomer who can’t dare women his own age. And if you read you’d know i’m referring to cat callers in that age range. Tell me why I would engage with a shitty person who yells at every young girl on the street. I’ve never felt unsafe around a guy my age as long as they are respectful. A respectable older man would not be around me in a with romantic intention

[SeymourBill420]

I didn't even think there was cat collars anymore. I've never been on the street, and heard just some dude whistling and hooting and hollering at a woman like it was the 1970s and before or something like that.
I mean, I have not been on every street in America or the world. But, I thought humanity had grown from whistling and hollering at a beautiful woman in public.
And, it's far from cording a barely legal woman. Because, there are some 35-year-olds that have a mentality of a 10 year old. And there are some 18 year olds that have a mentality of a 30 year old. So, it's all about what's upstairs. And if she doesn't have anything upstairs, then at least to me she's not going to be desirable for what's downstairs. So, don't be referring to this to as no barely legal girl. And if you do, welcome to the planet Earth. At least I don't appreciate an extremely attractive woman for her body. At least I appreciate her for her brain and then we'll see about the body

[shortster]

Get a car. Hard to catcall someone driving away at 30 mph.

[Asker]

I’ve been saving up. I’ve been walking and busing everywhere for years

[HouseMoat]

"older". What are we talking her, like, older than 21, or?

[HouseMoat]

by the way, it's wrong to assume everyone is a creep, just cause they're "older than you"

[Asker]

i said 35-40+ why are you defending men in said are saying sexually explicit things to men on the street and sometimes even following me… I never said all older adults were bad people?

[Asker]

me* not men correction

[HouseMoat]

You said "older men"

Implying that all "older" men are "creeps"

The fact that you put 35-40, isn't a factor. YOU ARE STEREOTYPING

YOU ARE THE WEIRDO HERE

[Asker]

I’m telling you they’re saying sexually explicit things at me I am not the weirdo I’m a teenage girl. The title says how can I stop older men from speaking to and following me. Sure the older men speaking part may be misleading but anyone with a braincell could see It’s in inappropriate because directly after it says “and following”

unless you an middle aged or older adult man who likes you catcall, prey on, harass, or follow underage or barely legal girls nothing about what i’ve said should offend you.

[Asker]

to**

[jimmy2]

Well with old men using human trafficking they help old men go after you.
If you have too call 911And be the one who goes forth jet this is not right
Bring change

[Anonymous]

It makes perfect sense and you are not going to ward us off. This is just normal male behaviour.

[Opinion Owner]

I find that i get the most attention from younger girls so it must be a you problem

[Opinion Owner]

You hear what you want to hear, i have random girls offering themselves to me all the time.

[Asker]

yeah girls with daddy issues. No father would want them dating a man his same age. My father would kill an adult man who thought it was morally right to think of me sexually

[Opinion Owner]

We are just in thinking of you that way and it is morally right and natural and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it. Your dad belongs in jail.

[InspireGlow678]

Take some self defense courses. Don't be afraid to kick them in the balls if you have to.

[Luckycharms12]

I guess men will always be interested. Sick doing that since you are kid sorry.

[LiamJHayden]

You can lie and tell them you are 15.

[MissBoogus]

Get a dog , take him with you

[ThrillSeeker01]

I'm sorry. What kinds of things they say?

[goaded]

Lie.