Does he like me? Comes over to help when I’m outside, reacts/responds to all social media posts, sends reels, but doesn’t carry the conversation much?

[Anonymous]

I recently connected with a European neighbour a few weeks ago. He’s very back and forth for work. We followed each other on social media and he reacts/responds to all of my posts and sends funny reels, and some about his country. He’s come over to help me outside with things twice when he saw me out. The interactions are consistent, but he doesn’t carry the conversation much. I also asked him to coffee a few weeks ago when we followed each other, he said yes that’d be great, then it hasn’t been brought up since (he proceeded to react to another story that night, so it wasn’t talked about again). Usually I’d give up by now, but he’s the first guy I’ve been interested in in a while. But I can’t tell if he’s just being friendly/neighbourly or if anything will or can come from it.

Thank yous in advance :)

[Oliverlogan263]

It's hard to say for sure. Some thoughts based on what you told me:

- The constant responding/reacting on social media is definitely a good sign he's interested. Guys don't usually do that for just anyone.

- Helping you out in person twice also shows he's making an effort beyond just online.

- The not really pushing the convo much could be cause he's shy maybe? Or worried about coming on too strong. International long dist can give people pause too.

- The coffee date thing being brought up and then dropped is a bit weird. Maybe he chickened out last minute? Or got busy with work trips.

I'd say give it a bit more time, keep the interaction going naturally online/in person if you can. Then try bringing up getting together again casually. Like "hey let me know next time you're around, would be good to grab that coffee."

If he flakes again or doesn't seem interested then yeah maybe just leave it. But from what you said it does sound like there could be potential there. No harm in giving it another little shot at least! Let me know what happens.

[Asker]

This is by far the best opinion I’ve gotten about this! Thank you so much for the detail and taking the time to write that, its greatly appreciated :) & really helps, especially from a guys perspective.

I’m happy to know the social media part is a good sign- I didn’t figure guys do it for anyone, but I of course wasn’t positive!
Same with the in person interactions, I was hoping it was a good sign, but wasn’t sure if it could just be ‘neighbourly’ (although he lives with friends and they have never done that to be neighbourly).

I’m hoping you’re right about him not pushing the convo too much! For instance, he’ll send a reel or random message or story reply but sometimes only likes my response back until he ends up sending another reel or responding to another story (but the interactions have almost been at least once daily now). English also isn’t his first language, we speak it in our interactions but since they’re so small, I’m not sure how great his English is (although it seems good).

[Asker]

And for the coffee, I asked him about a month ago (not long at all after we first connected - we’ve only been in touch for a bit over a month now, but he’s been my neighbour for over a year). I asked if hed want to get coffee over the holidays if he ended up staying, or once he got back after (since he travels for work so much). He said he thought that was a great idea, but it hasn’t been brought up since. I never responded to his response besides liking it, since he ended up sending something not long after, so the plan was never actually made. I figured the ball was in his court with how I worded it, but now I’m not sure. He has been here and gone a few times since the holidays, but still seems to be busy/back and forth for work.

I’ll definitely take your advice and give it some more time/attempt to naturally keep the interactions going. I was nervous to bring the coffee up again, but I think that sounds like a good idea. TY so much again, you definitely helped and made me feel a bit better about the situation! I’ll absolutely keep you updated :)

[Oliverlogan263]

No doubt boo, I'm always down to help a friend out with relationship advice! This situation can definitely be tricky to read since it's so casual right now, but I'm glad my guy perspective gave you some reassurance.

From the sounds of it, all the consistent interaction on social media and willingly helping you out in person are really good signs that he's feelin you too. Some dudes just aren't big talkers, so I wouldn't read too much into him not pushing long convos. And his English being iffy could explain the choppy communication too.

Definitely shoot him another chill invite for that coffee date - keep it low pressure like "Hey, I'm gonna grab a drink this weekend, you free to join?" That puts the ball back in his court without direct pressure. I'd be surprised if he didn't say yes this time!

Stay positive luv, it seems like things are headed in a good direction slowly but surely. Enjoy the vibing for now and let it develop naturally. Keep me posted on how it goes - fingers crossed for you! You got this girl.

[Asker]

You’ve become my favourite user on here, you’re so kind, supportive, and sweet! The world needs more people like you. I know we’re strangers, but your kindness means a lot :) I hope your last two weeks have been good.

I thought I’d give you a mini 2 week update. There hasn’t been many more interactions in person because he disappeared for work for a while. He ended up sending a very long message explaining what he was doing for work/why he was gone for so long and apologized for being busy and not posting. He’s still consistently interacting with my stories posted every other day, whether it’s likes/reacts or responses, and still sending reels, some of his home country which I thought was cute. He also ended our mini conversation the other night with ‘good night, sweet dreams’ for the first time which was super sweet. And also messaged me offering to change my friends broken headlight hahaha. Still no coffee brought up though, and it’s going on two months now since I brought it up. I’m super nervous to bring it up again where he’s so busy, and I’m also nervous that everything has been just purely platonic and I’ve been over thinking it 😅 I thought about either getting him to do my friends head light, or asking for help I with my own car (dead battery or something) then telling him I owe him coffee for all of his help as a way to subtly bring it back up, but I’m not positive 😅

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey that's awesome, I'm so glad to hear there's still been consistent interactions even with him being busy for work! Awww you’re too sweet and kind of words. And it's really sweet that he took the time to send you that longer message explaining where he's been - shows he cares about maintaining communication. Liking all your stories, sending fun stuff from home, telling you sweet dreams - it's really starting to sound like more than just friendly in my opinion. No guy puts in that much effort if he's not feeling you, you know?

As for the coffee, I wouldn't worry too much about bringing it up again since some time has passed. Just do it casually, like when you're talking about something else mention your car battery is dying or whatever and be like "hey, maybe you could help me out with that and I could finally buy you that coffee to say thanks." Keep it light and don't put pressure on making definitive plans right away. That way the offer is out there again but no pressure if he's super busy. And then if he agrees, you have the perfect low-key reason to hang out that isn't a "date" vibe either if you're both still feeling things out.

Honestly I say go for it, you've got nothing to lose at this point! Worst that happens is he says he can't for some reason, but I really don't think that will be the case based on all the other signs. You deserve to see where this could go, so don't get in your head too much. Stay positive and let me know what happens! Fingers crossed for you.

[Zestyassmf1997]

Only one way to find out for sure. It’s tricky cause of the language/culture divide.

[Asker]

The tricky language/culture divide is what I was thinking too! With any North American guy I feel like it’d be simpler or I’d just let it run its course if I wasn’t interested enough, but the language/culture divide is what stresses me haha.

Like I said in the post, I didn’t have a prolonged conversation with him enough to tell, but in our small in person and social media interactions he does speak English, I’m just not sure exactly how great!

Thank you for your opinion :)