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The guy I’m seeing admitted that he cried after our conversation was a little bit flirty, he felt guilty because he’s a Christian/ Catholic and because he said he felt he was objectifying me. He also cried a little bit in front on me on FaceTime. I’ve only known him for a week. TBH since this has happened I don’t feel as attracted to him as I once was. (I haven’t cried in front on him yet)
He does sound like a bit of a sensitive soul.
To answer your question. Is it okay? I would separate it into two forms of "okay".
First, is it "natural"? Is it human nature to be turned off (as a female) by a guy who shows a degree of sensitivity? Maybe. It's possible that some women are so hardcoded about sensitivity in men that it's a turn off. And in that sense, it's okay to feel that way. Feeling aren't our enemy.
Second though, is it "right"? Your feelings aren't your enemy. His feelings also shouldn't be his enemy. I think in our day and age with it being okay to be strong as a woman, and okay to be sensitive as a man, but to not look past your biases regarding your initial feelings, and to look at it from a more logical and modern perspective... I think you're selling him and yourself short.
Not only that, you're potentially setting him up for trauma. This is one of those sorts of things that basically trains men to NEVER open up, never express their emotions, never show signs of sadness, depression, etc.
And then women wonder why men are so distant when he's going through something difficult, and not letting you in. It's because someone in his history made him feel like he's less of a man for crying or for having feelings.
That said, this is your life, your circumstances, etc. Do whatever it is you're going to do. I just want you to be cognizant of how this stuff typically affects men.
If you don't want an emotionless, heartless asshole it should be fine if he cries no matter how early. If he is crying over something genuine, like perhaps someone close to him just died then I think it would be very cruel to fault him for that.
So the real thing you have to look for is how easily he cries and the reason behind it, and if that is the right fit for you. So in this case that would not be the fact he cried within a week, its the fact he showed he is doubting his decisions to the point that he cried over it. You clearly want a man fit to lead, and you have seen this is not that kind of guy. So that you are then turned off by that is logical, but try not to tie your reasoning to a time frame but to the actual things it made you perceive.
I was honestly shocked when my guy cried on week 2. But my grandpa was in the hospital and he knows how much he means to me, so yea he cried. Even i wasn't crying tho i was worried and saddened. Then he explained that he lost 3 of his grandparents one month after the other. That was so heartbreaking to hear. But yea he's cried at least 3 times throughout our relationship. Its different then what im used to but it makes me feel closer to him
It seems more like you're turned off by the reasons he cried. Context matters. Even for me, as a girl who feels suffocated when men can't be emotionally open, I would be a bit turned off by what you described.
Opinion
23Opinion
- #This is why husbands don't cry in front of their wives -
On a side note, relationships are built on trust and support, it's a two-way street.
Would you feel comfortable crying in front of your partner? If you do, then would you want your partner to feel the same way about you?
I think you see where I am coming from.
Knowing this would probably make you change your perspective because it shows he trusts you!
I'm more interested with why. In this particular case, it's not for me. You're perfectly ok being turned off by it and should communicate your disinterest politely
Ugh, a week, ten years... that really a reason to cry?
Sounds like a real life version of:
https://www.youtube.com/embed/aAHjvKQ2VpEWhat, he is not willing to objectify your tits? I don't it is going very far as relationship are based on men objectifying women and getting erections from this.
Despite women saying they want men to be emotionally available they don't want this at all. It is not surprising you found his crying a turn off.
Dump him for crying and not being willing to objectify you as you ought to be.
Do you have a subconscious bias that men ought to be thuggish, club-swinging troglodytes whose only emotions are rage and lust?
I mean if you do then there probably isn't any helping it... but you will get judged for admitting it openly, and you'll probably deserve it.
If you're turned off by his behaviour there's no point in pursuing a relationship with him.
Unless you think you can fix him. Breaking News: You can't fix him.
Let him go gently so he find a devout Christian girl and you can find a more compatible man
LMFAO! I love this! Every guy should understand this dynamic. You've got to be a fucking MAN and man up if you want to be attractive to most women. EVEN women who might CLAIM they want a sensitive guy have a tendency to respond more favorably to a masculine guy. And this is ESPECIALLY true if you're interested in a FEMININE woman. The masculine attracts the feminine.
I'll agree that it's perfectly fine to be less attracted to him, if you'll understand why I think it's hot as hell that you're turned off by him;)
There's nothing wrong with a man showing emotion and crying, but what he was crying about is what I found a little strange since you mentioned you guys were flirting and he felt like he was objectifying you due to his Christian values.
He might just be very sensitive... I don't think that's a reason for you to break it off with him, but if you really don't find that trait attractive then it's probably best you guys don't proceed in dating.
It is ok and another example of women not actually wanting a guy who is emotionally vulnerable with them.
time to move on
its ok to feel turned off but if it happens cuz of such reason then there is no point in seeing him anymore
And yet you want a guy to be emotional with you. The irony
Normally I'd judge you for judging him. But those were not very good reasons to cry. I'd be concerned if this was a common occurrence. I wouldn't want to date a woman that cried like that.
You feel that way about the effects of religious belief. Not him.
He sounds like an emotional mess. Those are not normal reasons to cry.
And just like that has toxic masculinity been born and Andrew Tate gained global notority.
And then women ask if men even have feelings.
In this case it doesn't seem like the specific problem is him crying but why he cried, I'm sure he gives like cry baby vibes lol
if it's that big of a deal for you that it's a deal-breaker, be honest with him about it. Do not make up excuses or lie.
Just be honest. Honesty is the best policy.
Yes, if it turns you off it turns you off , , just tell him he met someone else
