Why did my narcissistic ex block me out of nowhere when I already had him blocked for months?

[strawberrybaby3]

I want to start out by saying please, if you’re going to reply with “who cares, he’s your ex”, please don’t bother, your reply will be removed. He’s done a lot of damage to me and my coworkers (I work with him) and it takes time to heal, so yes, I still look at his social media out of habit but I do not contact him or let him know I’m looking.

Friday night I was on our business page (I run our workplace Instagram) and I noticed that our following count went down , and I just had a feeling because he’s so predictable, that he blocked our page , which he did, when he was just there an hour prior. I then checked my personal account, went into my blocked list where I’ve had him blocked for 4 months and he blocked me back all of a sudden.

I know for a fact he is not seeing anybody, has gained so much weight and looks awful so maybe because he has intense mood swings he was randomly thinking about me and got angry? He’s very obsessive and doesn’t get over situations quickly.

This was also after , if you’ve read my previous question, I confronted him about a weird fake account following our business page which we all knew was him. This was last week.

If that’s the reason, why such a delayed reaction? He’s the type to be impulsive and do things immediately so I don’t understand how one night he’s just sitting there and randomly decides to start blocking our business page and me.

[spartan55]

So, you feel the best way to heal and move on from an ex you claim is stalking you is to stalk him back?

[strawberrybaby3]

No it isn’t. It’s purely out of habit and from hurt. He doesn’t even know I’m doing it. And I’m not even really claiming he’s stalking me, but it’s a lot of effort to go block someone on 2 accounts when I literally do not contact him ever aside from small talk once in a while at work that he starts.

[spartan55]

A lot of effort? You're joking I hope.

[strawberrybaby3]

To do that out of nowhere when you can literally just leave it as is? Yes it is.

[spartan55]

No, it's really not. You are placing WAY to much value on social media. Like a crazy amount.

[strawberrybaby3]

Social media is that guy’s life lol. This is what he does and has always done but to do it out of nowhere and so randomly like that, I just don’t get why. I don’t bother him, ever.

[spartan55]

Don't you understand that you are keeping this going just as much as he is?

[spartan55]

There isn't an answer for WHY sometimes. And why does it even matter? It doesn't.

[strawberrybaby3]

I do, but I’m not giving any reactions that he would know about. I keep it to myself. That’s why I come here to ask questions, because I will not let him know that it bothers me. I have to see him at work tomorrow , this is very hard for me and I have to act like I don’t care at all. I just want him to stop. Even our other coworkers have had enough. All he does is play games and never goes away.

[strawberrybaby3]

True, you’re right. But to then go and block our business page 😂😂 thats so embarrassing and immature. And no reason for it.

[spartan55]

Yeah, and all it does is makes himself look like a jackass, so why do you care about that?
So, if he's a coworker why is he blocking the business page of his employer?

[spartan55]

And it doesn't matter that you are not showing reactions to him. I'm sure he knows he is getting to you. Besides you are reacting internally by staying all bent out of shape about this. I mean what is your goal here? What is the end game?

[strawberrybaby3]

That’s exactly what I’m saying lol. That’s so unprofessional and pointless. And our boss isn’t aware of it because he put me in charge of the page. I’m thinking this could’ve been because he made a weird fake account and started following our business page and everyone found out it was him, but he’s very impulsive , he wouldve blocked as soon as he was confronted last week. But to do it days later randomly at night , doesn’t make sense. Must mean he is guilty.

[strawberrybaby3]

No clue. But you’re right. I think that’s probably why he is doing this, because he knows I’m very sensitive.

[spartan55]

Of course that's why, and you keep allowing it.

[spartan55]

How long has this been going on?

[strawberrybaby3]

We were together for 3 years, ended it , tried to stay friends but it never worked out. In December he started harassing one of our coworkers an older lady he never liked, prank calling her at night, writing reviews about her under a fake name on google to make her look bad , and after years of drama because of him he was finally transferred for half the week to a different location. And obviously, this type of individual is not going to just stop. Still made fake accounts as I said, messing with our page and he was confronted about it last week and stormed away. Last Wednesday he even called me on no caller ID to tell me he forgot his wallet at work which was absolutely pointless. He just won’t go away.

[spartan55]

When did you break up?

[spartan55]

How do you have to see him if he was transferred to a different location? For half a week? Wtf is the point of that?
You said your boss isn't aware of it... maybe he should be.

[strawberrybaby3]

We broke up in August of last year. We still didn’t fully detach until about January. When I told him to never call my cellphone for anything again. Which he ended up doing last week as I mentioned. Well he’s transferred out the days that lady works because she threatened to quit if he wasn’t removed. And the problem with all of this is there is no real proof but my boss knows these complaints have been going on for years about him and his reactions to being accused confirm how guilty he is. I also noticed when we were together he’d like to mess with people and made so many fake accounts to harass old coworkers, until one day I couldn’t take it anymore. I do know with past girlfriends (who never really lasted long at all), he doesn’t move on fast. He will lie and say he has but he seems to have lingering feelings anger for a long time afterwards.

[strawberrybaby3]

I’m afraid if we tell our boss, he’s going to get the satisfaction of knowing we are all talking about him.

[spartan55]

Yeah, so what? You would rather put up with his bullshit? It's been seven months and you still can't let go. I mean, don't you want to date someone else?

[strawberrybaby3]

I can’t let go because I was emotionally and verbally abused. And we did not actually stop speaking outside of work until January so it’s only really been a few months. He has told people he has borderline personality disorder which he failed to let me know, because then he’d have to take responsibility for everything he’s done to me. And no honestly I don’t. And I really don’t know why I am so focused on figuring him out , maybe it makes me feel better to know I did everything I could and it wasn’t my fault that he treated me the way he did and harassed my coworkers. And maybe some part of me wants to know he’s hurting about it too and trying to get a reaction out of me.

[spartan55]

I still don't understand why he would 'mess with' the company page? That doesn't make any sense.

[strawberrybaby3]

Well, you can’t make any sense out of crazy. He’s been doing this for years. He’s famous for it , that’s why every time a fake account views someone’s story in our workplace , everyone assumes it is him. He has a problem.

[spartan55]

Why is this guy getting away with all this? Again, doesn't make sense.

[strawberrybaby3]

Because part of his family owns the salon I work at. If my boss were to fire him, their whole family would be a mess.

[spartan55]

Why is he still employed there?

[spartan55]

So it took you three years to figure out what a fucking nut that guy is?

[spartan55]

Ugh... maybe find another job?

[strawberrybaby3]

We started dating during covid so yes , I was not in the best frame of mind. I did notice right away that he had some quirks but by the time everything started to come out and people started warning me at work about him, I was already too attached and trying to always see the good in him. Obviously too much started to happen that I couldn’t ignore which is why we are no longer together.

[strawberrybaby3]

He is the type to harass old coworkers, park outside of their new salons that they opened and watch them, drive by coworker’s houses, I’m sure he drives by my house too. That’s why I just have a feeling this is all being done to fuck with me because he can’t fully get over it

[spartan55]

Then let that be HIS problem, not yours.

[strawberrybaby3]

Thank you for all your advice

[spartan55]

He is not 'hurting' about anything. He is a manipulative POS.

[strawberrybaby3]

Well when we had just started talking we both came out of relationships so he’d vent to me about what happened with his ex and I remember him telling me randomly after him always checking her profile which was on private, that he had blocked her. That was also random. And I knew he was very hurt about the situation. So I guess it’ll be hard to tell for sure

[spartan55]

You're welcome. Stop trying to 'figure him out'. There is no reward for solving that puzzle. NONE. Besides, didn't you say you can't make sense of crazy?

[strawberrybaby3]

It just shows that this is his pattern

[strawberrybaby3]

LOL yes I did say that. Guess I need to take my own advice too

[spartan55]

He wasn't hurt, he was pissed he couldn't abuse her anymore.

[spartan55]

Guys like that act hurt to manipulate others.

[spartan55]

Have I talked to you before about this?

[strawberrybaby3]

That actually makes perfect sense, I believe that that would be true. She used him for money left him, then moved on immediately. He also sees that I don’t give him any reactions (that he knows of) and that I appear to be happy at work , and he does not like seeing people happy. He thrives off hurting others , and now that he’s been transferred , he’s gained so much weight, looks awful, and everyone talks about it lol , because he’s lost all control and powder that he always thought he had. And no you’ve never spoken to me about this

[spartan55]

OK, well I glad I'm helping (I think)

[strawberrybaby3]

You are lol. Thank you

[spartan55]

So, what are you going to do?

[strawberrybaby3]

Go into work with a smile on my face tomorrow, pretend I know nothing and let him give me his stupid silent treatment that I know he will do after that blocking. If it goes further we will all probably take this further. But honestly I’m just going to try moving on soon and finding another job

[spartan55]

What do you mean if it goes further we will all probably take this further?

[strawberrybaby3]

Well as we spoke about our boss not being aware that even after being transferred he is still misbehaving , you said maybe our boss should be aware of it. There are a couple people that I work with who are ready to talk to him again about my ex’s behaviour and if this keeps going I may say something as well but most likely I’m just going to try completely blocking him out of my mind and not give the satisfaction of him knowing that he bothers me.

[ChicoFromThe305]

If you want me to help you stay stuck on your ex then you are asking the wrong person sounds like he finally got over you tho if he blocked you

[strawberrybaby3]

I’ve had him blocked though , if you actually moved on why would you bother 🤣🤣🤣 sounds like someone who just wants a reaction

[ChicoFromThe305]

He probably didn't block you expecting you to come back, he probably got over you and decided to block you cause he stopped caring or he met someone else and he did it for her, it's also a possibility

[strawberrybaby3]

Yeah that’s definitely possible however I’m pretty sure he isn’t seeing anybody and trust me I know him, if anything he’d follow exes while with somebody, not block 😂😂😂

[strawberrybaby3]

And he also blocked our workplace Instagram page that we all follow 🤣🤣 it just seems so petty to me

[ChicoFromThe305]

You are so invested in this, it's quite obvious you haven't fully moved on yet, it can be for petty reasons but it can also be for a therapeutic way of letting go, it would only be petty if he's doing it to bother you, if he's doing it for his own state of mind then you really can't hate on that lol

[strawberrybaby3]

No I haven’t. You’re right. It’s a lot to heal from , trust me.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Well I'm not here to judge you for having feelings but I believe it's not good for your mental health to live like this, I mean what are you holding on too by doing this Ms. strawberry

[strawberrybaby3]

I was telling someone else in this thread that he did this with his ex too, was very hurt over her, kept going on and on about her, would look at her private account even though he couldn’t access anything, then told me he randomly blocked her and I was thinking why.. and he makes up some bullshit excuse about not wanting her to contact him. I just don’t buy it. I think it’s for a reaction and that’s what all my coworkers think as well. I don’t know what I’m trying to do but what he did to me and my coworkers really bother me.

[strawberrybaby3]

And as I mentioned he blocked our workplace Instagram. Which doesn’t have anything to do with me. He has borderline personally disorder with narcissistic tendencies , this wasn’t just an innocent “oh I’m over her let’s block her now”

[ChicoFromThe305]

Okay so he has mental issues, well at that point you should assume maybe it's his mental issues making him do dumb things, I never said he's innocent, I'm trying to help you realize it's all pointless to know why he's doing it but tbh It seems you already know ha

[strawberrybaby3]

Borderlines have intense mood swings so I’m thinking he could be stewing over what happened in our relationship and something randomly made him angry again. It could definitely be what you’re saying , but if it isn’t that he’s over me , what are other possibilities? I’ve never seen a guy do this before. He’s the type who blocks and unblocks the next day for attention and the regrets it later but this was pretty unprovoked.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Alright so my question to all this is why do you care so much for the reason on why he is doing it? Are you holding on to the hope that maybe he is still not over you? Are you just bored? Lol

[strawberrybaby3]

To be very honest I don’t think he deserves to just move on after the hurt he caused me and everyone else. I think he deserves to sit there and regret what he’s done and yes , try and get my attention or spark some kind of reaction by doing this. Personally if I was absolutely over someone and they had me blocked for months , why would I randomly sit there on a Friday night and go block that person? It just doesn’t make sense.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Okay so now we getting somewhere it's more of an angry revenge thing, which I get, he must have hurt you badly that it's got you in your vengeful mood but look at the longer picture Ms. strawberry, as time goes by and you aren't getting any younger and you are wasting your time on this junk that hurt you and others so badly, who is really losing here? The guy that's just straight up nuts doing nutty things or you investing your time to see what he's up too? Cause the way I see it from the third perspective where I can see both of You strangers, I see you still wasting time on a person that hurt You, even broken up and blocked he has you on a leash, tell yourself this, who cares what he is up to, he was shit and invest that time to heal from it all and let it form you into a better person.

[strawberrybaby3]

Yeah you’re right. Well I have to see him at work tomorrow which sucks so I just have to put on a happy face and block it out

[ChicoFromThe305]

Him seeing that you've moved on and that he lost you completely will be the sweetest revenge, if he is tied up on you, the pain will only happen if you aren't tied to him, best of luck 💯

[strawberrybaby3]

Thank you ❤️

[ProbablyClueless]

He might have blocked you in an effort to move on.

My idea of moving on is to be able to talk with people amicably and not have any hostility. Other people prefer to bury their heads in the sand and forget the whole conflict.

[OlderAndWiser]

You obviously don't want to hear the most appropriate response to this post.

[strawberrybaby3]

Please, I want advice.

[strawberrybaby3]

I want to know why he never stops.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why should he stop when you haven't stopped? Is this a break up or a game? When you break up, unless you havekids together, you go no contact for the rest of your life. I got divorced nine years ago, live about ten miles from my ex, and I've only seen her once since the divorce. . . we both went to lunch at the same place one day. That's how you break up.

You get beyond this by not focusing your energy and attention on it. How can you move forward if you're looking behind you?

[strawberrybaby3]

True, thank you for the advice.

[OlderAndWiser]

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

This whole situation clearly isn't healthy... PERIOD!!!

For your own sanity and peace of mind, actively seek to move onto a new workplace otherwise you'll be stuck in this rut of never-ending toxicity.

[jahaims]

Why do you care what a narcissist ex is doing