Why do some men expect it both ways?

Question

That a woman has to be a virgin, who is beautiful, smart, funny and innocent, but not too innocent? (Lacks emotional innocence). Then, if the man meets a young virgin who fits the description of being innocent, but lacks beauty and or intelligence or humour and presents as overeager, they’re likely to decide she’s probably not their type, even though all these other things can be improved with time and more life experience on the virgin’s part? I’ve noticed this with two of my guy friends, being uninterested initially in a perfectly nice, innocent woman and I’ve tried to explain to them that the women who may seem exciting and confident have had more experience, but a virgin can be just as cool as an experienced woman and won’t remain innocent forever. Unless she wants to, which most people don’t.

Friendlybro79 · Accepted Answer

Because some people are just unreasonable. It's that simple. These people just are this way. Same for women. Some women expect 6'3 6 pack, 6 figures, and porno peen lol. My advice is to not pay attention to those people and worry about being your best you. Have a good day.

Vegasrunner · Accepted Answer

Why would you ne trying to explain this to your guy friends? Shouldn't you simply acknowledge the evidence?

ManOnFire · Answer

Men tend to have what is called the "madonna-whore complex," where they want an innocent, pure type of woman who is attractive and matriarchal, but they still have an intense sexual desire for a more whorish woman who will do all kinds of things for him in bed, regardless of whether she's attractive or not. The pure and innocent woman is like a trophy, and the whorish one is the forbidden fruit he can enjoy in secret. A lot of men don't really realize this, but also because they don’t know to confront it and become more self-aware about it.

However, many, many women also have this kind of complex: they are romantically attracted to men they can see are decent and loving, and they calculate that he would be the type to make a good father and husband, but they will still have sex/situationships with men they know aren't good and they would never marry them, but they are sexually attracted to something about those guys.

Both situations are wrong to me. I personally like the woman with good intentions who seems pure but is still lively and loving in bed. Regardless of whether she's a virgin or not. There are much worse things to worry about in a person than their non-virginal status.

blueonblack22 · Answer

The vast majority of men can’t get away with such high expectations unless they are in the top 1%. We might feel ourselves struggling with this dichotomy but we got little room to complain about it Especially if we live in a modern western country.

But I am really fed up with women who base there opinions on men only by the men they are interested in. It’s like millions of women worrying about Ryan Gosling prefers. Not to say all women expect celebrities but they are usually basing male stereotypes on men who are out of their league not their true equivalents.

InDetail · Answer

My opinion is that men believe most women are that just for the right man.

If she is holding out, then if she likes him enough she will create opportunities. Many women break thier own rules and standards for men they like, men know this and want to be that guy. Not disregarding the women that don't break thier own rules but yeah.

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Answer

I don't think we value the idea enough these days that people can and will change. That "high-value man" can go broke spending all his money on sports cars. Beauty fades. We are so "now-oriented" these days, and I think that drives a search for something very perfect which eludes everyone's grasp but not the type of person with whom we can grow together who might be living right next door.

Berethor · Answer

She intelligent for keeping her virginity for so long, and I pefer plain virgin over beautiful ho.

DarkLegacy · Answer

Why do women want it both ways, they want the bad 'alpha' type guy but still want the innocent 'beta' type guy around so they can save them for later. Why do they get with a good guy and then cheat with a bad guy.

Why do women want it both ways with equality, by expecting men to maintain their gender roles by being chivalrous but women give up their gender roles and demand equality.

mandyfire98 · Answer

Very common with some guys. Wants a woman with no experience but she still has to be a pornstar in bed.

Madonna whore dichotomy. A woman to them is either a chaste virgin or a slutty whore. No in-between.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Same reason women do. Y’all want a sexy, powerful Alpha to provide for and protect you who’s head over heels, only sees you, and wants lots of kids, or whatever.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I’m not detecting the “both ways” of your scenario. You’re just describing men having standards. I think that’s a good thing for a change. Most men have been conditioned to believe that any woman who is interested is a godsend. We should sweep her up and worship her like a goddess because we’re lucky to have a woman at all. We don’t deserve better.
Men with meaningful standards and boundaries is new. I for one hope it continues and grows. Lots of women have extremely high expectations. Why shouldn’t men? Are we second class citizens? Maybe a contributing factor to divorce is people realizing that they compromised too much and just aren’t really happy. Sure, it’s mostly women filing, but maybe they’re not satisfied because their husbands stop putting in the effort because the women were never really giving all of themselves.
Men AND women having meaningful standards and boundaries is a good thing. Stop shaming men for having a little self respect. We’re not second class citizens.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

I’m sorry, but women contradict themselves in their wants exponentially more than men do, and you ladies know it too. us men are very simple creatures, we are not difficult to please.

Anonymous · Answer

I love a woman who wants it both ways. ;)

But seriously, I don't think there are many men who actually expect a woman to be a virgin and all those other things. I mean yes, a woman like that is ideal, but most of us know it's not realistic. That doesn't mean we can't wish for it. It's no different from most women who "expect" men to be a Brad Pitt or something. They don't really expect it, they just want it.

Anonymous · Answer

You do realize you sound just like all the guys complaining about women's high standars and expecting a guy who is tall, hot, intelligent, drives a nice car and is rich, right?

There is a difference between expecting and wanting.

DishLady · Answer

Yeah, they want all the Mary’s in the Bible at once. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s ok. You can read a book and learn. You don’t have to change who you are.

whiskeyontherocks · Answer

I feel fortunate that I don’t have any male friends that have these kinds of expectations.   Personally I just expect some form of effort in the relationship. That includes the bedroom.

DextroShade · Answer

Men love innocent women and we don't give a damn about "emotional intelligence". As long as she is fit, feminine, friendly, cooperative, submissive, childless, and not a hoe we are good.

dustybiker2 · Answer

It's a good thing. Clearly shows which men to avoid.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

This gen is shit, that all there is to it, and it is only gonna get worse from here lol.

NathanDavis · Answer

not that I "expected or demanded" it but my ex had all of this and way more... lol

Sevenpointfive · Answer

i remember not losing my virginity to my virgin girlfriend. big mistake

Anonymous · Answer

Guys who insist on dating virgins have mental problems.

Why do some men expect it both ways?

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