I’ve (27) known this guy (28) for over a year now. We briefly dated and then he ended things saying he didn’t have the time and that we could try again when things were easier for him. We never officially “tried” a relationship again but we were basically dating with no strings attached for a while. He ended things again saying he didn’t love me and didn’t see a future with me.
i took the time to heal and went no contact, and he slowly re entered my life but I made it clear it would be strictly platonic, no sex.
i never asked him and I understand he’d be the best person to answer this, but I just don’t understand why he thinks he doesn’t see a future with me because we never had any real issues, we get along phenomenally even as friends we can spend hours upon hours (and this is after the last time he ended things) just hanging out.
I also know we had amazing sexual chemistry as well lol.
So I really can’t understand what’s wrong with me that makes him not want a future with me. We even have similar pasts and similar future goals. It just hurts because I’ve never connected with anyone else this way and after the first breakup I always thought we’d get a proper chance to date and actually know each other on an intimate romantic level because we never really got too deep in that specific area before, but we’ve gotten deep in almost every other area.
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Omg girl I totally get why you're so confused by all this! That dude is sending some majorly mixed signals.
On the one hand, he says he doesn't see a future with you and doesn't love you. But then he keeps hanging out and hooking up? And even said he could have married you without his issues? Makes no sense.
My best guess is he really cares about you as a person, and the chemistry is undeniable. But something inside is holding him back from fully committing. Maybe intimacy issues from his past are rearing up and he's not ready to go all in emotionally yet.
Men can be such chickens about opening their hearts, you know? Always running hot and cold. I'd try having an honest talk with him, lay it all out, and see what he says. Make it clear you can't keep wasting time on someone halfway in. If he's not willing to work on himself enough to try with you properly, you deserve way better babe!
Don't lose hope. This confuses thing will either end up going somewhere real once he's healed more, or you'll find someone who's sure they want all of you without question. Chin up girl - you've got this!
'I also know we had amazing sexual chemistry as well lol.'
As soon as you have sex without a relationship or any commitment. You are communicating that you are not relationship material. So many women just don't understand this and probably never will. Some guys may only realize this subconsciously though.
That is an extremely outdated view on sexuality and I don’t appreciate what you’re insinuating by it. I’m not out here sleeping around like it’s my second job, I was strictly sleeping with him during a weird period after our initial breakup. Since he ended things the final time we have not had sex.
You said you were dating with no strings attached and sleeping with him during a weird period after your initial breakup. Do you think any of those things communicate to him that he should lock it down for a relationship? Or do you think they have zero bearing on it?
Call it an outdated view yet I see the same pattern over and over again.
Your opinion is saturated with sexism and I do not see any point in attempting to explain the situation to you any further. Have a good night 😊
Have a good night.
Sounds like he just wanted sex. That’s what it sounds like now. He recently came back into your life most likely because whoever he was talking to or seeing at that time is no longer there. So now he needs to fill that space. I think it’s best you move on.
We’ve been very open with each other so I know he has not been seeing anyone. He’s also been the one to always check if I’ve met anyone, so I wouldn’t say it was just sex as I clearly mentioned in my post we’ve hung out for
Hours upon hours at a time since the breakup with zero sex involved.
Most men aren’t going to be honest about seeing other women. Women are so naive about things like this. I wouldn’t say if I was either because as men you know that even if she’s not your girlfriend she isn’t going to be happy, might hurt her feelings. As for hanging out, more than likely it’s because he still wants to sleep w you. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he does want a relationship now but most men pretty much think the same.