A co-worker acts interested in a relationship with me then turns cold. He doesn’t do this with other females. Why do I get this flip flop personality?

[Honey3157]

I work with this guy who sends mixed signals. I understand this is a red flag and will not pursue a relationship with him. I want to understand his behavior better though and need input. He will take time and flirt with me then flip a switch and be cold. He then takes time to talk to other women while I am around. He is not cold with them. He is kind sweet and attentive towards them. Why am I getting treated differently? One of these other women became so jealous that he speaks with me too that she completely stopped talking to me. He will follow them on social media but not me. He will approach them but with me he will only approach me once in a while. This situation hurts.

[SteveSmith1985]

So, would it be fair to characterize this more as: "He was interested, then suddenly went cold?"

I don't see mixed signals here. (but could be wrong. If he did other things you didn't include here).

If it's this sudden unexplained going cold by itself, then its a matter of looking at what happened right around the change.

His behavior is consistent with suddenly changing his feelings about you. The only way that would happen would be if he got some new piece of information to cause the change.

That could be anything. It could be something somebody told him. It could be him misinterpreting something you said. It could be something stupid like somebody told him you have a boyfriend. (and he feels foolish for flirting). It could be he got it in his head that you don't really like him. It could be that he thought you should have come up to him at the water-cooler and feels snubbed.

I have no idea. And you might not know either (which is the problem in figuring out an accurate answer to this. Unless you can think of something it might be... it's probably something you don't even know about.

But it's gotta be some new piece of information (true but probably false) that caused him to go cold. I think this one might be tough to solve. You can't ask him (well you totally can, but I understand why you might not want to).

[EmmaMary]

For fuck's sake just ask/beg him to give you a damn good fucking... Simples!

[MasterKS]

@EmmaMary you nailed it.

[MasterKS]

Sounds like you won't understand me much. Sorry!