Why is it “gold digging” when women expect provision, but not when men expect full-service wives plus a paycheck?

[MzAsh]

[Miristheiss]

It is 100% fine to expect provision.

You've got to fulfill the female gender role if you expect the man to fulfill his traditional gender role.

Be a virgin and a non feminist. Have kids and care for them. Once the kids are of school age you can get a job but not be a career obsessed woman who stresses the family to traveling for work, working 60 hours weeks and crazy schedules.

If you are promiscuous and have slept with a bunch of guys... guys who all got access to you for free, why should the current guy get stuck with all of the responsibilities and financial burdens? If you are a feminist and put career first and make your OWN MONEY then we do you give a shit about HIS money?

If you want to go out clubbing and drinking at the bars dressed in skimpy outfits and have guys hitting on you all night, if you want to post tons of sexy pics on the internet and entertain tons of men in your DMs then why should a guy feel obligated to some male gender role of "taking care" of you?

If you are chaste and want to have a family and be a mom and do some low key job when the kids are in school and have good lady friends that you can have coffee with (but not wild clubbers getting you to act single) then by all means, you deserve a man providing for you.

[MzAsh]

In my experience it’s overall better for the woman to provider for herself.

[Miristheiss]

That's fine. Then we'd expect her to have no expectations on a man's salary or to expect provision from him. You do you, he'll do him. If that is what you are implying then good. That scenario works.

[hahahmm]

Because men and women aren't the same. Life isn't fair. Women are always trying to minimize the contributions men make... if he does something for free that would cost her $2k to get done elsewhere she will try and mind f'k him into thinking it was worthless as a way of getting leverage. I mean if he's a sucker who listens. If she does something worth 2 cents like warming up top ramen noodles she will try and act like it's worth $500. And when called out she will claim there's NO way to objectively measure the value of what anyone gives. Then fall back to trying to measure stuff WHEN it's in her favor but not when it's in his. We know the game.

90% of the people in prison come from single mom homes. Fatherhood is priceless even if from a female pov the dad "isn't around enough" since he's working or not acting like he has to spend every waking moment with kids. Those kids learn indirectly about how he approaches life. It's ancient stuff, guys who descend from the builders of civilizations get.

And anyhow, no guy calls his woman a gold digger as long as she is loyal & respectful to him. When that goes out the window that's when he thinks of names to call her. It's not even really about the money from what I can see.

[tylrswftversion]

90% of the people in prison come from single mom homes? can you state your source

[blackeagle007]

@tylrswftversion I don’t think your right about your statistics. This is a much broader thing. How they grew up doesn’t determine making bad choices. It’s who they once dated

[tylrswftversion]

@blackeagle007 i didn't state any statistic, i just asked him where he found this numbers

[hahahmm]

@tylrswftversion No Longer Fatherless says 85% https://www.nolongerfatherless.org/statistics
And keep in mind that stats are manipulated for political reasons so as those who want to push the idea that single moms are the best thing since sliced bread gained more power they manipulated the numbers.

[Screenwriter]

No one can be a "full service" homemaker AND bring home the bacon too. It has to be shared responsibilities of both people in the couple.

If it's a two earner family, then some jobs can be paid for by two-earner couples and the others have to be divvied out according to how the pair plan it.

It's ONLY gold digging when a woman is going after a man for his paycheck and her cushy life.

I've not heard of men who want a working wife who is the 100% homemaker too. Any such man is out of his mind.

[OneViewpoint]

@Screenwriter,

Well put and accurate. That's the only way it works with any fair and reasonable couple. You both pitch in to do whatever needs doing based on your individual skill sets and likes / dislikes. One doesn't sit there and watch the other one work.

[Screenwriter]

@OneViewpoint However, there are some people raised this way and "home of origin" experience plays an important role in what people tend to expect when they're grown.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

The patriarchy relies on its shaky double standards to stand tall

[aceleon]

He gives you his body too so this is not even an argument.

Emotions is the same and actually worse with you because we are the gender that deals with your emotions all the freaking time and still called good for nothing in the end.

Giving birth to children? Are you seriously stoop this low? Using your own kid as a leverage for your misandry?

Only think you can actually argue is house work and let's be real, you do things we can do it on our own too but i saw almost no woman that knows how to change a tire or deal with other considerer Man jobs.

So please take this providing crap to your grave with you where it belongs.

[RavVid]

Provisioning and full service is the classic guy girl deal. So I don't see it as gold digging at all.

It would be gold digging if the girl was wanting to get money in the short term with no intent to provide full service into the future.

I, like most men, don't care what my girl does or doesn't earn. Countless of us have said that here. If my girl just wanted to run the house as her job, I'd be quite content. If she wants to earn money full time or part time I'd be just as happy.

I do care about full service though.

[OneViewpoint]

I think the term gold digger evolved because women are seeking financial support, status, and a lifestyle from a man. That wouldn't apply to a man using a woman for her labor and sex. The correct term for those guys would be slave owner. Evangelical Christianity teaches men to expect this sort of relationship from women.

[Ariesman81]

Yes. It's called an equal exchange of value.

[OneViewpoint]

@Ariesman81 ,

Well I guess I should thank you for proudly self identifying as a guy who wants to own a woman. Jesus is proud of you.

[Ariesman81]

Thanks. I like to think so.

[ArrowheadSW]

The saying in the meme that you post describes a guy I used to know through my former job. He said that women didn't belong in the workforce and their job was to stay home and do all of the house stuff. HOWEVER, his wife worked full time as a nurse, raised the kids, cooked the food, and did all of the housework. Funny that he didn't say that was wrong. He was a complete ass.

[Avicenna]

As usual, you set up some ridiculous scenario and suggest it’s the norm.

There are men who are indeed themselves gold diggers, but they’re just male versions of female gold diggers.

And „Give them your body“? LOL, as if both parties don’t want and enjoy consensual sex.

[Nik1hil]

It's not "Gold Digging" for man!..

😅 Women look for Monetary benefit, Hence Refrence of Gold Digging, which is Basically a Job of a Mining dwarf.

What men do is much Worse,

Can be considered borderline around the line of Servitude or Slavery!..

[Shy_Steve]

That meme is only describing probably less than 10 percent of Guys.

Most of us Guys would just be happy enough that you care about our feelings and that you want to have sex withus, Anything else you want to do for us is just a bonus.

But most Girls cannot even manage those 2 things for their Guy.

[Apple1996]

I've come to realize that 99% of the shit men complain about online is just projection. If they complain about gold diggers it's a big chance that they really are just gold diggers themselves

[Shiprex]

So where are all the women advertising their wealth to attract men?

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex obviously your not understanding what I'm saying. Men want women's free labor. If men had to pay for everything a woman does for free within the relationship they'd never be able to afford her

[Shiprex]

 @Apple1996
that "free labour" gets free rent and free food. If transactional relationships are the way things are to go then the labour ALSO benefits the woman who lives in the free accommodation and enjoys the free food too,
You understand that the things they do together BOTH enjoy yet women will use some of that intimacy to weaponise against the man

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex free food and rent ain't shit in comparison to what women do. That's gotta be a joke if your seriously think that

[Shiprex]

If you don't want it get your own place, pay all your own bills, clean and cook anyway and pay for everything yourself. Holidays health and care and entertainment aren't getting cheaper.
It's being adult.
If you're trying to put a £€$ value on sex and intimacy then that's highlighting a sinister trait about women's "yse " and regard of men as customers or clients which sets up a dynamic good men won't put up with.

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex sex is not apart of the free labor that I'm talking about. It's weird you'd even say that

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex men offering money isn't shit. It's barely bare minimum while women do everything else

[Shiprex]

So what free labour that women would do don't women also benefit from?
Cooking ✅
Cleaning ✅
Children ✅
Staying at home✅
all benefit women too. What do men get for letting women in to their lives? Stability, peace, or something else?

[msc545]

Good. Provide your own housing and food.

[Apple1996]

@msc545 i do lol

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex cooking and cleaning? That's also gotta be a joke your talking like a woman is a slave. Those are purely to benefit a man if a woman does all those things you listed. None of those benefit her unless he is possibly stepping up and doing those equally? Then maybe

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996
How is cooking and cleaning NOT for her AS well? Do women WANT to live in dirty and messy places? Unkempt and untidy households? Don't they eat as well?
If there is a person MAKING A HOME from a house and furniture that is HER's and for THEM then he will be a satisfied and happy man when he can recover from the competitive rat race of work.

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996
working to pay someones Rent and bills as well as food and feed them. What is he a servant to her lifestyle?

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex her cleaning for herself and EVERYONE else is not a benefit. Most women keep their house naturally clean if they're alone. Men are messy. It should be everyone's job to clean up after themselves and not pin it on another person.
And lol recover 😂 yet a woman has to work 24/7 with no time to recover

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex men are meant to be providers. That's their role in life. It has nothing to do with being a servant it's bare minimum of just being a man

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996
HIM working for himself and EVERYONE benefiting from the €$£ is THEIRS, This is classic misandrist claptrap where the notion of a man working to earn for a household is somehow an expectation while a woman working to make a home is FOR HIM and ONLY HIM. It's another example of women saying what's yours is ours and whats mine is mine.
If feminists REALLY thought cleaning and cooking and being a stay at home adult with or without kids is some oppressive situation to be in consider
1. NO BOSSES
2. NO CUSTOMERS
3. NO COMMUTE
4. NO COLLEAGUES (pestering, harassing, bothering etc.
Being away from home all day everyday to compete in the rat race is a drag millions of men would prefer to NOT DO but they didn't get a choice EVER to STAY AT HOME.
SO why don't the new feminists pull up their big girl bloomers and suggest that MEN become stay at home adults while THEY go out and be great BOSS bitches and bread winners to support MEN in their lives instead of how MEN have been doing for generations (since civilisation started actually) and see how long you all last.
You WON'T because you still be needing that 6 figure salary of HIS to help your 4 or 5 figure salary pay for all that luxury you're all after from relationships with men. NOPE you'll all shit yourselves and dismiss men who'd thrive if they didn't HAVE to work and HAVE to GIVE you their labour.

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996
Now you're trolling be real. MEN are meant to die and serve society so women can have hair nails and spa treatments daily and their children raised by nannies I suppose.

MEN DO NOT OWE YOU ANYTHING and the sooner women realise this the easier we will be to win.

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex men and women acutally owe women litterally everything. Women are the ones who created us

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex women staying home means they work for their family. That involves everything you listed there. And there are many women who are breadwinners in their family so I don't know what you are talking about tbh

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex and even those breadwinner women still do more than their man who stays home. That's why it doesn't work out. Men are not productive in their homes, they can create life so there is no reason for them to be home. Yalls role is to provide. That's just how it is. You need to kill off your ego or something cause it ain't cute. So thankful my husband doesn't think this way and acutally values me as a woman

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996
Which breadwinner women? Where is the bunch of well paid women offering to take on men as home makers and treat them to spa treatment, hair dressing and massage appointments? THERE ARE NONE that myth disappeared when feminism was taken over by the rich and powerful lobbyists who wanted a cheaper workforce so they pushed women from homes and denied men to replace them. NOWHERE, never have women pushed to get men to swap roles ANYWHERE. Stop lying and kidding yourself it's NOT a thing. Women WANT men to work so THEY can control the household AND the budget and seek to deny power to men (while still relying on men to sustain society).
Women have always been jealous that men can do ALL they do AND more as well as not flake out when shit hits the fan and trouble brews. They thought they could match men but they can't because they can make babies but haven't got the stomach to actually create society and sustain it. It's women's egos that are the stumbling blocks because they KNOW they are weaker and less resilient, can't keep up either physically, mentally or psychologically so they NEED to have men around to keep things going else it would fall apart.
It's ok men are benevolent on the whole (otherwise humanity would be extinct) and women have a part to play but these days they over play their hand and end up looking like chumps

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex are you telling me you've never met a stay at home dad? There's a few on this site. I have multiple neighbors where the man stays home. It's more common then you might think

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex sorry but I've never been jealous of a man. I acutally feel bad for most men because they never get to experience creating life and they tend to be the jealous ones. And the societies men have made have crumbled and gotten destroyed multiple times. And somehow women have always kept their role of creating and sustaining their childern

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex we don't need men. Men need us. You litterally wouldn't even be alive breathing right now if a woman didn't create you. Try being grateful

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996
You are aware it's MEN who provide the necessary materials to make both boys and girls? Women can't do that.

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996
No I have never met a man who actively remained at home and was supported by a woman who worked. BUT you brought up PARENTING which is not the same. Women have for generations had the opportunity to be stay at home WIVES not MOTHERS. Some women choose this and some can't have babies and the point I was focused on is the men with them ACCEPTED THAT they provided to them the means to create a HOME for a FAMILY.
Where are the WOMEN doing the same for men? They don't exist, they use men ONLY to give THEM freedom to choose and have children but won't reciprocate the benevolence.

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996
Yes women are the ones responsible for babies but only when there is a man paying for that.

[MzAsh]

Breadwinner wife here, with a househusband in training 💁🏻‍♀️

[Shiprex]

So he's going to be the home maker?

[overlord337645]

men are very grateful but i see both sides here however i would like to point out that society specifically women dont want to date men unless they provide for them and the sad truth is men dont need women men get emotionally attatched to you because your built to attract someone then men end up doing whatever just to make you happy reality is a man is perfectly capeable of doing stuff himself just as much as a women is and women did not create us because you can't have a women pregnant without the help of a man so im grateful that both of my parents created me and dont try to bs me into saying the women has to do all the work women are special but i promise you with how much hormonal fluxuation we get from you when your pregnant im not sure women fully understand that we know its hard but you dont gotta make it hard for us additionally i do think your right women can support men and be the breadwinners but it does not mean men need to be grateful to you or ¨need you´´ simply because by default you are made helpless just like men are now if a woman does something like helping clean the house i will be very grateful but the act of createing a child is a 2 person act and therefore dont need to be grateful to anyone for that although im not opposed to being grateful for such a loveing wife or girlfriend

[Apple1996]

@overlord337645 it's not bs. Women do ALL the work to create life. Men simply just donate their dna (which women do as well). That's not putting in work or creating anything. It's funny how insecure men get over that. Grow the fuck up and start respecting women for creating you it ain't that hard but mens egos can't handle the truth

[overlord337645]

not gonna lie but i just care about everyone being fair i might have a big ego to you but truth is i only care so much because i know im right i dont ussually say this but when i awnser something over 80% of the time i actually do my research first i dont just sit down and type something this one I dont really need to tho what I think is happening here is quite simple you have something to prove you feel like you gotta prove yourself to men because society is... set in there ways of thinking and truthfully i respect that women can do a lot of great things but I also know it is not easy getting a woman to like a guy unless the woman giveing it for free and in that case its not worthwhile I dont expect you to agree but I do ask that you not stereotype men like that especially since your so opinionated in your stance

[Bklynbadboy12]

@Apple1996 what I can't understand is how men complain about women being gold diggers. Then they go to a strip club and give away the money for free makes no sense to me🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

[Apple1996]

@Bklynbadboy12 yep and on only fans too. They're more willing to spend money on there than pay for a date

[beefcakebradybatson]

The only male gold diggers I've heard of are gigolos.

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996
By work to have a child, do you mean eat, drink and not smoke, drink or do drugs? As in basic life support for HERSELF? Women don't do anything special to grow a foetus into a baby. Jezus that's some level of arrogance. Without society supporting women in doing this they'd kick the bucket because most women would not be capable of providing for themselves were they pregnant without a partner OR society to financially support their choice (don't forget MEN are still the ones providing about 80% of taxes, running most essential services and basically providing a society for women to exist in comfortably.
Ego indeed

[MysteriousDarkness]

@Apple1996
Those are called simps. Good men who know their worth don't do that.

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex so you think pregnancy is easy? 😂😂 your crazy fucking retarded dude. Being pregnant is the equivalent to running a marathon everyday for 10 months by the amount of stress it puts on a woman's body. If you think that takes nothing I hope you're running a marathon everyday and not complaining about how you feel afterwards

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996
Ahh the ad hominem defence. Didn't think that was your style. Nowhere has it been said ever to be easy but it's not like running a marathon.
A marathon expends and extra 100 calories per mile while pregnancy averages at 300 per DAY.
Studies also show the basal metabolic rate increases by about 20% which would mean perhaps jogging instead of walking during a normal day.
Running a single marathon is comparable to a month of pregnancy without rest but heck that's science and of course not how it "feels". The emotional aspect of it is immeasurable but is widely variable too so impossible to be objective about it.
Exaggeration is beneath you.

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex I've been told this by a doctor dude. It's also easy af to Google. It's like running a marathon for 40 weeks. Not like one a month

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex the emotional part of pregnancy is the easiest part. The physical is the most demanding thing a human could ever do

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996
I DID just Google it want the links?

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996
No it's not. If you really believe that show the evidence instead of an opinion

[Apple1996]

@Shiprex sure I'll be posting a question about this soon

[Shiprex]

@Apple1996
I look forward to it. The link to the NCBI study I wanted to post is titled "7 Energy Requirements, Energy Intake, and Associated Weight Gain during Pregnancy" fyi. It's got a nice table some way down showing the comparison of how the demands on the body vary from normal through the 3 trimesters and from different studies too.

[overlord337645]

apple what is there to prove? women can do a lot of things men can no need to be defensive we all know its tough no one is debaiting that and while shiprex is not adding enough emphasis to it and cannot fully understand it nor can i i will say that men and women share struggles equally after all you have your stance for a reason right or wrong does not matter because its an opinion of yours just like i have an opinion right now point being why argue who has it harder when instead you can agree that without eachother your not going to even have children muchless do anything with your significant other in life

[Shiprex]

Men DON'T expect women to bring a paycheck though. The WIFE experience has not financial value till divorce. It's value to men is much stronger.

[MzAsh]

With an average of 55k, they probably should expect it.

[Shiprex]

That's not enough though for modern women. Men are also subject to women finding men who don't earn enough as undesirable or "Unmanly" and unable to Provide the lifestyles they desire.

[MzAsh]

Most men are unable to alone provide for a family and that’s simple math. Any woman expecting that from a man is foolish and likely under experienced.

[Shiprex]

I agree, nowadays the feminist movement made sure they added to the workforce so capitalists loved that because it meant productivity could keep rising with technology and wages could stagnate as well as benefits and job security could be diminished making THEM more wealthy. IF they'd suggested that MEN swap with them as home makers then the workforce would be the same and wages could be matched with productivity and profit rises. That's basic economics

But feminism wanted to KEEP men where they were, working society and providing AND not let them have the choices women get.

[Shiprex]

Give them their body but the women doesn't get HIS body <-- girlogic
Manage stoicism when it's women who emote the most <-- ladybrain
Go to work <--- nope, your body, your choice as men dgaf about women's careers or income when the meet them just as they STILL expect to be courted.
By clean house and care for them it used to be called being feminine and making a house into a home but heck that's such an onerous task. You should have asked men to SWAP if it was THAT oppressive but you don't want men to be at home taking over the house

[WhiteThought]

Well first of all, those are two completely different things, and second, it's completely fine for a woman to expect provisions. It's the man's duty to take care of her. However, she has to fulfill her duties in order to receive that.

[genericname85]

so the funny thing is you expect men to do all these things listen in the picture ON TOP of expecting them to be at least able to financially carry you. except the giving birth part but that's the easy part of bringing up a child.

[Vampirelover_12]

Because men don't like claiming responsibility.

[Ariesman81]

@Vampirelover_12

Incorrect. We don't claim responsibility for things we don't have authority over.

[Vampirelover_12]

@Ariesman81 Except you choose to flaunt your money. Like a whore.

[Shiprex]

While MEN are the ones keeping society running? How is that NOT BEING responsible?

[Billlewis]

@TheBeautifulMs. VampireLover -- I can't say I blame him. I would guess that you're anong the most admired and sought after women on this site, and for good reason.

[Vampirelover_12]

@Shiprex No, women rule the world. We just gave you the right to vote and y'all started begging for rights.

[Shiprex]

@Vampirelover_12
Yes of course you did.
Now off you pop and Make me a sandwich 🥪

[backdoorman]

With the exception of the paycheck, those have always been the things a man wants from a woman. The paycheck is a relatively recent development, and it wasn't men's idea.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Because marriage is (supposed to be) a partnership, though unfortunate FAR TOO MANY men shirk their share of household duties. Gold digging is a girl's dating a boy just to bleed his bank account before she latches onto the next sucker.

[Lynx122]

Gold is worth a lot lately so imma start digging too, in my backyard :)

[strateguy632]

Because only she gets and wants cash and jewelry, he doesn't get any cash from her.

[Billlewis]

Another excellent question from Ms. Ash. Why, indeed?

[slatyb]

A gold digger is a woman who feigns affection to obtain goods and services from wealthy men.

[loveslongnails]

Glad to say I never aspired to that family dream. Saved a lot of problems, especially in finding a mate.

[ThatCanucker]

Gold digging means that someone began interest in their partner for the sole reason of their wealth and there is no actual connection emotionally with that person.

[MrChinaski]

Just saying you ain't messing with no broke.

[red-lipstick-girl]

Women both work and do housework, in which case men become money hunters

[retarb]

It's gold digging when you're demanding a white BMW and you gave me a kiss and nothing else.

Gold digging is gender neutral as well.

[Vegasrunner]

It would be if that were a thing, but most women aren't interested in a man looking for a "full service wife"

[Bklynbadboy12]

What I can't understand is how men complain about women being gold diggers. Then they go to a club and make it rain and give away their money for free makes no sense to me.

[RingOfFire]

If those are the real gold diggers count me in! 👍

[blackeagle007]

Why can’t the woman work? My sister has kids, never a stay at home wife. Costs of living is high everywhere. Traditional living has died out.

[Whyaskwghy]

I full agree rub her bath and wash her hair sometimes I even like to paint her nails for her sacrifice is love don't expect her to sacrifice everything

[Babygirl_S]

They’re not only gold diggers, I call them soul killers

[Sluttt]

Gold digging is when women gives a handjob but shs wants his house and assets

[nawtee_me]

That may come from when women came with dowries… she came with a paycheck to the table.

[fish5505_87]

Where can I find her? JK. I'm not in that world,

[spartan55]

What can guys expect from women?

[Jennz6]

Men do it too

[Billlewis]

Personally, I adore women who engage in tbis kind of activity, and whenever cross paths with one of them, I try to make sure she's well spoiled for her value to the community.

[AviatorTom]

Because when men do it, it's called gigolo.

[WhitneySnow]

You’re not wrong

[seeyounexttuesday]

liberal white women love being victims.

[BDRick]

It’s just way things are

[fuddly]

What's full service wife?

[Mulcair]

Women and men... Fuck everything

[LiamJHayden]

It isn't.