MEN HELP! If a man throws in "if we ever dated"....

[smilesgirl]

If a male friend is talking about deal breakers for relationships, & he gets on a subject in which applies to me & he says "If we ever dated"...then goes on to ask if I would change that particular thing if it were a deal breaker for a man does that mean he is thinking 'bout dating me? Would a man say "if we ever dated" if he ONLY ever wanted to just be friends? Please help!

Updates

+1 y

Perhaps it could help if I clarified that this man & I are very close friends, he already knows I care deeply for him & like him more than friends, but in the past before we got to know each other as much he basically said he only saw us being friends. SO this is why I am wondering about him using that phrase now. If this changes anything in your answers, kindly add another comment. Thanks!

[malekoniky]

It can be one way or another. He could be thinking that he likes you and he will just slip this in and see what happens. If she would be willing to change like that. OR there can be no such thought at all. He does not have to like you at all to say something like that. This can be sign that you might want to try to find out if he likes you, but you cannot be sure at all from this one thing alone.

[smilesgirl]

Would You personally say this to a girl you NEVER saw yourself dating?

[malekoniky]

I don't know for sure. I think it is possible. But if I said something like that, with me it would mean that there is something like 90% probability that I like her. If I said that I probably think about her as dating material. But I could say something like that to somebody I don't see like that. Can happen.

[smilesgirl]

Thanks for answering. That is surprising to me. I would think by the way most guys say what they mean, mean what they say, that a guy would never say that if he would not date a girl. Looking forward to hearing what other guys have to say about it.

[malekoniky]

It is condition. "If we ever dated" Not "I want to date you" or "We are going to date".

And also ... men tend to mean what they wanted to say, not what actually came out of their mouth! :D

[The-Dude-Next-Door]

It's possible he could genuinely be looking for a girl's perspective on things. He might have said "if we ever dated," but he could have meant to ask "what is your perspective about... " He might be thinking about another girl. He might just want to know what is a deal breaker for you, because it might be the same for another girl he's thinking about.

[Nyc10001]

Depends on the conversation context. I flirt with my female friends that I would never consider dating. Sometimes I ask then their opinion for a woman's perspective. If he is interested a conversation will come up were he will say something similar to before, answer in a way that makes him draw it out more. He is not going to come right out as he doesn't want to screw up your relationship in case you don't to date.

[Betwyn]

What was his "deal breaker" ?

[smilesgirl]

inside pets

[Betwyn]

He would want you to not have pets if he dated you?

[smilesgirl]

He doesn't want inside pets, like if he married a girl

[Betwyn]

I'd say he is considering you..

[Anonymous]

he's thinking about changing you, not dating you

[smilesgirl]

I could see how you think that, but in this case it's not about changing me...it's a situational thing involving pets, not me per se. I don't think it's that unusual for people to have one or two "deal breakers" at the very least. SO if it were u, turn it around--would you EVER use the phrase "if we ever dated" to a guy you could never see dating? Thanks