Why do the guys always insist on paying for everything?

[skyeisblue]

Me & my boyfriend were at the mall and I wanted a really exspensive diamond neckalace from Zales that I had been saving up for (it was 2,000$). My boyfriend sees me looking at it and offers to buy it for me. I tell him, 'you're so sweet, but I've been saving up for this for 5 months and I'd like to buy it for myself'. So he gets mad and makes a huge scene in front of everyone, accusing me of not thinking he has enough money and crap. He tells the lady HE'S going to pay for it (very loudly) and asks how much it is. She tells him, 2000$ and 10 cents. Then he gets all flustered because he really didn't have the money for it. I ended up paying for it like I had planned to, but everyone was looking at us and the cashier even checked the money to make sure it wasn't counterfit!

Why do the guys insist on paying!?

And, girls, has this ever happened to you? (not the same situation, but a guy insisting on paying for something that you want to uby yourself)

No rude comments please!

Updates

+1 y

Just an add-on: This wasn't just a movie or dinner or something, this was a 2,000 dollar diamond neckalace! You can't just make a scene in a jewelry store like that!

[Randomdude540]

Its can be based on several things that some guys act like this
1. Society - many men grow up believing they have to be the provider and are still instilled these traditional roles that they should follow.
2. Insecurity - because of these traits from society Some guys feel insecure that they can't meet them. If they can't get what the woman wants and she has to, they feel emasculated. that's how some guys act.
3. Appreciation - it may also be that the guy wants to use being the one who bought it as a way to gain the appreciation for the action. Whether if it's wanting to be the cause of your happiness or wanted something in return sometimes. it can be good and bad cause some may want you to feel indebted to them.
4. Ego - when a guy likes to be seen as " the ideal man" in public situations.
In your case, it sounds like a mix 1,2,4 of all of these. Since he was next to you as your buying it, his ego probably kicked in where he didn't want to look like he can't afford things for his woman so he tried to pay and even said it loudly to point out that he can in front of others. He's insecure about looking like he's not able to provide for you.

[MrNameless]

Because this is what happens when society has brainwashed and conditioned us to stick to old-fashioned traditional roles, where the man is expected be a gentleman, initiates everything and pays for everything.

[Anonymous]

One word. Ego. Both real and fake. I will explain it to you :)

Real Ego: He was brought up in an environment that encouraged gender roles. He feel less of a man if his girfriend had to pay for her stuff. Yup, I knew guys like that. Even if he couldn't afford it, he would do his best and may feel very very bad inside that he couldn't buy it for me. I would say "It is ok" but he would still feel bad. They relate paying and indulging their women to being a REAL man, a provider, a bread-winner, etc...It can also be a culture thing. In some cultures, a man must pay for everything or else he will feel very bad. As if he weren't a man.

Fake Ego: He acts like it matters to him,. makes a scene, acts angry and all but he isn't really willing to pay. I knew guys like that as well. It is really pathetic.

Which one if your boyfriend? Follow your gut feeling. I don't want to jump into conclusion here simply because I haven't met him. You know him better. :)

[Opinion Owner]

@ update: He shouldn't have made a scene. That is embarrasing.

[Suemac]

After taking a lot of psychology classes and many past experiences, this is what I can give you for input.

Some guys get defensive when girls question things like money. He might feel that as your man he must support you and make you as happy as possible. Some may see this as a sign of dominance.

However it depends on how a guy is raised. He might feel that he must pay for; things big or small for his women due to chivalry or being a gentlemen.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. You'd think guys would appreciate when we offer to pay and such. XD I think it might be a pride/manliness/be a provider thing. Today, I was with my boyfriend in Target and I picked out these glow sticks off the dollar rack and he was all "I'm buying those for you." Hahaha definitely not a big deal (especially compared to a diamond necklace) but I was like, okay then whatever you say!

[jennyloves]

well my boyfriends always pays for me when we go to dinnier and even for my brothers wen they come along ! but wen it comes to things I want I alwyas paymyself and sometimes ill let him do it so that he doesn't feel bad ! <3 so let him pay sometimes and sometimes you can pay as well! and have a conversation about it and how it makes you feel and he may understand . good luck girly

[shyguy89]

because its been molded in society and its in our dna to do so...its how the world operates..thats one of many things that won't change no matter how much time goes by on this planet

[Anonymous]

The guy is young and naive. You're 18. Does he really think this thing is going to last? Why would he pay $2K ?

[skyeisblue]

I don't know...that's why I was asking everyone else?! Did you even read the question?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, I did read it. That's why I said he was young a naive. Young guys try to be big and impressive - must be the testosterone. He thinks he's going to be with you forever as well.