My boyfriend wants me to sleep with another man! help please?!

[christinav09]

Title says it all. he says it would very much turn him on to see another man pleasing me, he wants me to record it so he can watch it. It upsets me somewhat fact being he should cherish my body since we are in love and want no one else to have anything to do with it. I am thinking of doing this simply because he says he would enjoy it. he gets hard when we discuss it I haven't made up my mind and would like a little advice. I am afraid to destroy our relationship even though he says it wouldn't that he would love it. We have been together 3 years and are super happy. but. should this be done, or left alone. He gets very upset when I say I don't really think I want to do this. I would feel guilty. like cheating., ANY advice please :)

[Chunk-Stonechest]

I must say, your misplaced desire to accommodate your man's fantasy represents a real sacrifice. I'm still scratching my head over your dude's source of eroticism over watching another man take something he should be defending. Your typical warrior will grab a knife, a bat, or a gun to resolve this kind of violation, and it rarely goes well for the stranger. Perhaps your man is too preoccupied with touching himself to sympathize with your desire to avoid being groped by a stranger. I suppose some guys really are this self-absorbed.

Open the door to this creepy compromise and you'll hate yourself for it long after the two of you have broken up, which should be soon if you care about your esteem and dignity. I'm guessing you haven't tapped into the real anger and outrage lurking right below the surface of your conscious. You can' t feel especially loved or respected, meanwhile you must face his growing resentment for the fact that you won't whore yourself out to star in his own personal spank video. That is one seriously jacked up dude.

Your partner is the kind of man who makes women want to run off and take a shower. I think you should skip the shower and just run off.

[Littletad]

Incredibly well written, and very true. Let's hope she heeds your advice.

[Margarita]

Agree...

[Tvsc25]

Really? Do you people even understand why he would like that and still be loving? Or is thinking that isn't the same as yours and different to hard to process

[regular-guy]

Well, if you want to ruin your relationship and violate your personal values and maybe mess yourself up for future relationships just to satisfy his sexual fantasy then go for it. The great thing about fantasies is that they don't have to be realistic. So who cares about what things would probably be like in real life.

But if you ask me, you need to define who you are and what is and is not acceptable independent of another person. If another person wants you to violate yourself "because it would be sexy" then you know what part of you he is into in the relationship, i.e., your main value to him is as a sex partner to satisfy his urges and fantasies. Pressuring you to do this is selfish.

In my opinion he has crossed the line, and the fact that he is pressuring you into this against your wishes says bad things about your future together. I would imagine he has been indulging his porn appetite quite a bit lately. If he keeps this up I predict you won't be together much longer.

[romantiquee15]

i don't know bout this...it's kinda like he is using you to pleasure himself. I would say it's very selfish of him to ask you to do such a thing..he wants you to do it to pleasure HIMSELF but is he considering how it makes YOU feel? in my opinion don't do something just to make someone else happy, only do it if it makes YOURSELF happy. I would def wonder if that guy actually loved me if he ever asked me to do such a thing cause I don't think someone who truly LOVES another person would want their loved one getting all messed up with some stranger...to tell you the truth I might even consider dumping that dude if he ever told me to do that...i am not gonna get used like that. period.

[confused20]

It's good that you're taking this seriously. A lot of damage can be done if you did this. Like some other people said, what if he decides he wants to sleep with another girl? I would just tell him that you don't feel comfortable with it and he loves you and will understand. This would most likely be the beginning of what could turn into him wanting to have swinger sex. And as much as you love him, you shouldn't do anything because he wants you to. It should be what both of you want! Good luck.

[shelly56787]

You shouldn't be the one afraid of destroying your relationship if you do it, he should be the one afraid of destroying everything by getting upset when you say you don't want to do something. You should do what you think is best for you, and he needs to stop being an ass and trying to force his wants upon you. Straight up, you don't want to do it, DON'T do it. No man should push something like this on his woman if she doesn't want it.

[Littletad]

Don't do it. I'm not sure what his deal is. But there's no telling if he really won't be affected by it later on. Not too mention how horrified you might be to actually let another man touch your body. Not only will you probably feel cheap, but loose respect for yourself and your relationship. I can't believe he doesn't see the damage that can be done by this. Not too mention the mental damage. And what if he doesn't become satisfied? What if he wants to have a another woman? Or swinger sex?

Honestly, tell him no and how much it would hurt you and the relationship. If he refuses then I'd say it's time to ask yourself if he still is the man you feel in love with three years ago. Something is horribly wrong in his mind. When it's a mutual decision, you can't say nothing about it anymore. But it's clear you don't feel comfortable at all.

[authentic]

"... He gets very upset when I say I don't really think I want to do tthis."

Your answer lies here in this statement you wrote. He has no respect of your right to choose here. He does have what it takes to be a successful pimp, who seduces women and then sell them as sex slaves.

Back to square one. With this experience you have, write out your answers to the question, "What do I want with my male partner ?" The experiences are there to help you answer this question with clarity.

See if you boyfriend matches what you wrote. If yes, stay. If no, stop thinking about him. And focus on your answers, until you meet him.

[elle1]

would he ever want to sleep with another girl? like he's not doing it so you can't say no if he ever asks you for a threesome with another girl is he? Proberly not but just wondering

[bharvey621]

What the heck, did I write this? Every single thing you said, sounds exactly like my relationship. I too, am still deciding and I have no idea.. I haven't read the comments below yet but I'd love to know what happened if you ever did it etc

[sandra24]

Bharvey621 I dealt with the same things I read things and said omg! Did I write this... if you would like to talk on how I dealt with it and what you are dealing with I would be more than happy.. on aim or yahoo if you have those

[Viranda]

I'm in the same situation now. Did any of you do it?

[Lost42]

I did too. And its a whole mess now where I may need to leave my fiance who I loved and his two kids. Dont do it

[tom16_12]

HE MAY JUST BE A CUCKOLD. look it up there a lot of websites that tell you about it and there's pple out there that have done it.

[bharvey621]

Sandra24, yes, please write me on yahoo IM send me an offline message if you can or an email, [e-mail]

[Viranda]

Hello, can we talk?