Stress? (long)

[112507]

Ok I'm a 17 year old in complete hell. the only good thing I have going for me is my girlfriend. both my brothers are amazing in school (step brothers)one is a junior in college and has had a 4. 0 gpa to this very day since the day he started high school. The other has a 3. 8 gpa and is a senior and is getting scholarships for basketball.

I'm like the black sheep. i have a 2. 8 gpa, and am not good at any sports. i run track, but I tore tendons in my foot last year and ever since haven't ran as fast.

now, my parents see it as I should be as good as them at all this. but I can't stress enough how I'm not as good as them. This places a huge amount of stress on me. I've been grounded for the past month, and have hardly any social life other than the occasional chance that I get out. Which puts more stress on me.

I am just not sure what to do about all this. I feel like a failure in a sense but at the same time I know this is who I am, and it seems that the rents don't get that.

[Rafael151]

I know some of this you may have heard before, but it’s true. The first thing is to not compare yourself to others. We have this kind of built into the grading system, but you have to ignore this idea and be you. Only compete against yourself. School is not easy. Life is not either. If you want to be someone else, it’s going to be very tough because you can’t be inside their head. It would just as hard for them to be exactly like you. We are in different places at different ages and depending on who we pick as our role models. It’s good, if you follow someone who is successful, rather than anti-social. But that’s step 2. The rest doesn’t just happen. The first thing to remember is (not sure who said it) “whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right”. If you believe you are something less, then you won’t try the things you could. You’ve heard of “nothing ventured, nothing gained” and “no pain, no gain”. In the teachers lounge, they say that the one who is learning is the one who is doing the work. You can’t just hear something explained (like a double axle) and just absorb it. . You have to try it over and over. Being a success is not just something you wish for, it’s a matter of practice - practice in sports, practice in music or practice in studies or whatever. As far as the injury, sometimes it’s not possible to come back. But people like Rocky Bleier or Brett Favre are great because they never ever give up. Bleier wasn’t supposed to be able to walk, but he did much more. Even if you can get over an injury it will take time. But lets say that in life, you could survive without being a runner. Eventually those athletes have to retire. But they take the same approach to whatever they do. Find your strengths (you do have some), and work on them, until you feel like you’ve shown yourself that you are not a black sheep. But anything you do will take practice. For the things you like, practice is less like work – but still not easy. And as you see yourself start to get better, the stress starts to go away. Then it becomes fun to do. It doesn’t really matter what it is. Not everyone ends up with a dream job, but it is what we make it. The other saying is “the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”. You have this task in front of you and it’s depressing how big it looks. But you start breaking off small pieces and do them first (also called divide and conquer). Then you proceed to the next piece until you are at the finish. I hope that helps.

[Rafael151]

Wow, I just read the other replies. You can take advice from all of these people. It's all good. (although I suspect annwyl-cariad is really much older and wiser than 19).

[RFRFRF]

Pleas stop right there. For one past doesn't equal future. I dropped out of high school partied my ass of, really partied, then I cleaned up and re invented my self and I make more money than my mom who grad college, my bro who grad college, my dad. Not all together, but I make over 100k a year. Don't be a flea, you know how they train one?

You take some fleas in a jar and then you put a lid on them. They hit their heads for 3 days now take the lid off they won't jump out anymore. Because they were trained they can't. Don't be a flea. Don't be a elephant either. Have you seen a big elephant tied to a tiny post in the ground? They train him too. When a baby they tie a rope around his neck, now he will get chocked when he goes so far, as he gets bigger he remembers he can't go that far so excepts it, now you got a huge elephant that will never run away because he remembers when he is little he couldn't do it! So don't be a elephant dammit! J/k reinvent your self. So to a book store and to a self help section and look at somethings you will fing some good shit! Good?

[RFRFRF]

Thanx, don't ever let anyone tell you who you are!

[annwyl-cariad]

You know, just because you have a lower GPA than your stepbrothers (and a 2. 8 really isn't bad) and you aren't running as fast as you used to, that does not in any way make you a failure. I always hate seeing parents who have kids that excel in a certain thing and then expect all their kids to do so. The brother of one of my high school friends was captain of the tennis team, and so the parents enrolled my friend in tennis as well. Of course, he hadn't played long, so he wasn't that good, but his parents made him do it anyway, and it was just infuriating to see!

Think of it this way, though. You have an amazing fiance whom you love, and she loves you in return. Now, other things might not be going your way right now, but you have her, and in that way you have definitely not failed. I think if you just try to work hard in school, show your parents that you are working hard to get the grades you get, then maybe they will ease up on you. Good luck!

[Rafael151]

Very good answer but where was the fiance? I missed that part.

[Rafael151]

I see why you are at level 7. Are you sure you're only 19?

[annwyl-cariad]

Well, his profile said he was engaged, so I went from that. And thanks. :) I take that as a very high compliment.

[Superstrength79]

Let your parents know how they are having an effect on you. They need a wakeup call, and before things get too bad. Don't present yourself as being in the parent-child relationship either; present your list of grievances as if they don't have a choice in the matter.

1) You have suffered a serious injury, they shouldn't expect you to excel at sports right now.

2) You are doing very well in your social life, they should be happy you have found a woman who makes you happy.

Let them know your plans and the direction you are taking in life. Most parents will just fill in the blanks for you if they think you do not have a goal or the drive to excel at life. It's great that your brothers are doing well for themselves as well, but you are not them. You have a different road to travel in life.

[the-original-81]

Dude. You ARE me. Except my 'amazing girl cheated on me. I got nothing, the way I see it is if you have nothing else going on focus on her. I failed there and I think I pushed mine away, =[. Don't let go of the things that not only are important but the ones that make you happy. You deserve that. If you've got an amazing girl you didn't fail. You won. Lol probably didn't answer anything but hey I tried right? Its all we can do.