Could my boyfriend have Asperger's?

[ClassicReject]

This doesn't mean i love him any less or am calling him out I'm just genuinely concerned about him and I was reading up about it and got curious so I'd appreciate the help.
-he takes melatonin to help him sleep and other things (I've never been told what else)
-has these appointments every Thursday night (he never tells me where, but if its weekly I assume therapy, I could be wrong)
-he can be very cold and unassuming at times
-lacks empathy or just refuses to show his feelings
-is rather socially awkward and loud
-monopolizes conversation
-is one of the most intelligent people I know
-often closes off into himself
-doesn't conform to social norms (which I love about him)
I don't mean this as offense to anyone, I just am repeating what I've read on the Internet.
weve been broken up a few months but he acts like he cares and says he doesn't. I just want to know why, especially because he never shared this with me and was going through some bad things at the time he dumped me. I'd appreciate the help :)

[taldaana]

This sounds like I'm reading about my eldest brother he is borderline aspergers he is loud used to have no feelings of sympathy or compassion and pretty much all else that's on that list our mom doesn't let him become so anti-social though and he was never treated any differently so he only exhibits a few of these traits. When my brother was younger he would try learn to be sympathetic by emulating what others would do in that specific social situation but he would never really think before he said anything and tried to hide his feelings with words. he's not like that now though just at times incredibly loud.

[ClassicReject]

Yeah, my ex just has a very loud way of speaking which I assume comes without him meaning to because he CAN talk softly. He'll show his feelings but deny them up until he has to act on impulse. That's why I'm so concerned. He dumped me and says he doesn't care but he'll let slip how he feels in small ways when he's around me or when other people ask him and I don't know how to help him work past this. I've always wondered and finally had the courage to at least put it on GaG. I've never asked him out of respect for his privacy

[taldaana]

It's a good thing you haven't asked him people don't take kindly to others knowing about their problems especially if you were wrong about where he goes on those nights. One thing I've found with my brother is it takes him a long time to decide on anything I dont want to get your hopes to high but his behaviour about your relationship could mean he is deciding if he wants to get back together again. Aspergers will also put everyone else's needs above their own and they come up with the most ridiculous excuses for things. or that's my brother at least.

[ClassicReject]

Yeah, ridiculous excuses sounds like him. The tricky thing is I can't even get him to talk to me, and let's say a friend is talking about me and he's fully aware, but the mention of my name will shut him down entirely. It's been around 5 months now but I haven't lost hope on him. A relationship isn't even my main concern as much as I want it; I'm just concerned about him and how all this affects him. He's had difficulty with relationships before me and with me, so I just don't want to see him hurting the way he has anymore

[taldaana]

Come to think of it is actually very stranger that he would want a girlfriend all the aspergers people I know are very reserved so they even appear to be asexual. He must have seen something very special in you then , like my brother and his first and only crush. It's great that you are concerned about him though.

[ClassicReject]

He's reserved but he's very... Outgoing in the sense of girls lol. He's selective about girlfriends though, so thank you :) I just wish there was some way to get him to open up to me, but I know I can't force it. Every time I've tried to have a conversation it hasn't gone well

[taldaana]

This works in my brother I don't know about your ex though - if you ignore him or tell him to be quet then he talks more and he often delved into the deeper parts of his life not just talking about games and shallow things.

[ClassicReject]

I ignore him and he ignores me till someone cracks (usually me) and he has kind of an explosive temper

[taldaana]

Wow okay good luck with that then.

[Lovelinefan]

You might be right! Something's going on for sure... Maybe a "dusting" of aspergers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRDoSLHhPMw