I managed to go a full 8 weeks without binge-eating (my record in 2 years) until this week. I've binged on tons of junk I don't normally eat for 4 days. I feel terrible mentally and physically. Sometimes I get severe back and stomach pain after eating an estimate of 5000 calories and I worry about my stomach rupturing. The pain is still not enough to stop me from binging because as soon as I feel better the next day, I do it again! I do 40-60 hr fasts and copious amounts of exercise (30 km of walking/jogging) following my binge eating episodes to compensate for some of the weight gain. After I complete my fasting and exercise ritual, my blood pressure drops to dangerously low levels and I end up feeling faint and exhausted. I still binge the next day which reverses all of my hard work. A few days ago, the discomfort, pain and guilt I felt almost brought me to the hospital. I have an all-or-nothing mentality.. if I break my diet just a little, I'll be very inclined to screw up big time and eat the whole refrigerator. I weigh myself every morning and I'm obsessed with food. I think about calories, weight and food 24/7 even when things are going well. I feel ashamed knowing that I have to start from day 1 tomorrow after so much hard work. Help?
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