Guys have you ever almost lost a girl you were in love with?

[Anonymous]

If so, what made you realize either change or lose her?

Updates

+1 y

I am talking about things that you started doing after you got with her like drinking heavily and satying out all night...Not changing your looks or way of living...I thought that would be understood..sorry

[Anonymous]

If she expected me to change then she isn't accepting me for who I am. Too many women want to mold their man into something he is not. Sure, it might work for the time being until one day he snaps.

I don't want to grow my hair out because it makes me sweat. Who really wants 3 inches of hair during the summer months anyway?

I don't want to dress up everywhere we go because the clothes are too clingy. I feel like the whole wardrobe you bought me is like some oversized tighty whities.

I don't want to stop hanging around my friends just because they don't get along with you. Perhaps they are cluing me into how much of a b*tch my girlfriend is.

I am not getting rid of my pet just because it doesn't like you. Again, another clue that the relationship isn't right.

I don't care if you do your other thing when I go to sporting events. I don't need a watch dog and that certainly doesn't mean I should go see the ballet because you went to my event.

Why should I stop going to the strip club just because I'm in a relationship? I have a lifetime membership card to get in. Plus I never slept with anyone from that place in the 4+ years I went before you came into my life.

I can't imagine marrying her since my life was miserable while we were dating. Take away the sex and it's like this annoying family member living with me. For my sanity, overall health, and to keep me from doing something irrational like hurting someone, she has to go. I'd do anything for love but not with her...

[Eiffelgirl21]

Well, why would you need to go to a strip club? To go and watch naked girls dance sexually? Wow, what a great boyfriend you would be. You should just cheat while you are at it...Since, it basically is cheating. Well, I guess you do not have morals..so you wouldn't know anything about that...you are just a dog/pig/perve..in which you like to go watch as many naked whores as you want to ...that give you lap dances and etc...Wtf is wrong with this world these days...

[Opinion Owner]

To you it might be cheating but to others going to a strip club isn't. And those women aren't whores. You are so quick to judge people without knowing them. Some girlfriend you would make. I don't care for lap dances but my buddies do so I'd buy one for them. I mainly go for the free food, cheap beer, and some entertainment. If there were boxing or some other entertainment instead of strippers, I'd be all for that. :)

[Eiffelgirl21]

So...you would date a stripper then? Honestly? And, anyone who sells their body like that is a whore. Sorry...but, I guess that is my opinion. If you say they aren't..then you are saying that prostitutes aren't as well. I just think it is so funny how it is always okay for the guy to do sh*t..but, for girls...it's not aloud. And, I can't believe you do not see anything wrong with it. But, I guess that is the world today. I have morals.And, I am all about my boyfriend, and ONLY my boyfriend.

[Opinion Owner]

I wouldn't date a stripper. But that's my choice. If my girlfriend wanted to go see dudes strip I'm fine with it since I trust her. I don't feel that there is anything wrong with someone who is in a relationship to go into an establishment like that. If more people felt the way you do, I don't think those places would stay in business. Though I might not be like most guys since I don't drool over a naked woman. I appreciate what God has done and admire the beauty of the female form.

[Eiffelgirl21]

Well...I do know that everyone is different. And, I am sorry for yapping at your comment. But, believe it or not...there are plenty of people like me. Just more weirdos like you than me ...just kidding :-D

[standUP]

You cannot change yourself to be loved by somebody ! Either they love you for you or they don't !

20 years ago I was with this girl that at first liked me for me . that's why she hooked up with me,right? So as some time went on she expected me to change some things so as the puppet I was then, eager to be loved by her.. I stopped hanging with all my friends the way I dressed, my attitude , my sense of purpose , my morals of what I would put up with and basicly handed her my balls and was a slave to making her happy to be with me... All that didn't work because she broke up with me,lol... Because I wasn't anybody to respect because I lost ( gave up ) who I was as a man !

This was all a very valuable lesson because I figured out LOVE cannot be forced, changed, or bought... No woman is worth changing for just for her to think she may love you, only if !

[Eiffelgirl21]

No offense, but people do change for their love ones...And, sometimes, it is for their best interest. Like, for example, one will stop doin drugs..or stop being a manwhore..and that type of thing...

[standUP]

well to be understood would need a bit more detail then what you originally wrote here,lol...

YOU SAID "AFTER" ? so since you been together he started drinking more and staying out later?

LOL, maybe there is your clue !

[standUP]

NOBODY CAN CHANGE ANYBODY ! yes, it may work for a bit no matter what it is... But if Love is the stipulation for making changes for someone, than that person does not LOVE you for who you are as a person ...

[Eiffelgirl21]

well, I would NEVER ask my boyfriend to change...I mean they change on their own. I think you are taking it the wrong way...I mean, maybe the girl can be "good" for him? And vice versa? Seriously? Come on? Haven't you seen this happen? I have! With my friends.

[standUP]

Eiffelgirl sweetie, please understand the question is about if these changes are made first then I LOVE YOU... That is the wrong way to love... either you love that person for their heart or you have a wrong idea of what LOVE really is in the first place... what if all the sudden you did something that he didn't like ( that really didn't effect you as in how he cares for you)? would you expect him not to love you all the sudden or prevent him from getting there ( like the example she gave) ?

[Eiffelgirl21]

I mean I know...and see your point. I wouldn't not love him for who he is...I would love him still...I mean, from my own experience I have fell in love with a guy that was my complete opposite. And, no I didn't ask him to change..And, I honestly do not think he has really changed. But, I am just saying, that I seen a couple get together and get married..and after they got married the guy calmed down and wasn't as hateful towards the world.

[standUP]

ok sure I see that point with your friend... a lover can most definately improve your lifestyle and give you a reason to want to be a better person, I just don't see how that determains if you love me or not... LOL, sounds like we talked this trough thankyou for the communication our relationship is stronger because of it, thankyou,lol ... have a great day : ).

[toulouse]

PEOPLE DONT CHANGE FOR OTHER PEOPLE. THAS AN ILLUSION. THEY CHANGE TO KEEP PEOPLE , WHICH IS PART OF HAVING A FIULL LIFE--WHICH THEY WANT. sorry for the caps oops ;)

Even, quiting drugs, is not CHANGING for someone else. its changing back to your state of equallibrium for yourself, maybe because you want to keep people around, or be fully conscious when they are around. its done of your own volition- for yourself. w/e thinking you have about it being for others-its still your will for you.

[Eiffelgirl21]

lol thank you as well :-) I am glad we both see our points :-) have a good day too :-D

[7gnat]

sad but so true. every word is true( I hate to believe it of course)

[Anonymous]

When I like someone, I like them for them. If they change by starting to drink heavily, become abusive, or treat me bad otherwise, then they would lose me since that is not a healthy relationship anyway.

I have read all the responses for liking me for me vs. changing for someone (puppet). I can relate in some regard because I REALLY liked this guy. He liked me as well, but for whatever reason he chose to hook up with the woman who was more pushy/easy. And he has somewhat become her puppet. Changed his hair for her, is on a diet for her, and she even gets on him about his diet if he eats something unhealthy. And this is by no means an overweight guy. It saddens me because I adored him for just being himself, not what someone wants to make him into. So I guess in this case, I lost him and he lost me as well, and maybe one day he will realize that if someone doesn't like you for you, then they are not worth being with. We all get old one day, and when that day comes, he may not even have ANY hair or he may not be able to lose the weight and she will leave, when I would have loved him anyway. :(

[Eiffelgirl21]

Well, I have seen guys and girls change...for the better and for the worse. Mainly because they know tha either it hurts their loved one or because they know it is wrong. Either way, it can be a good thing or bad thing. It just depends on the guys/girls EGO and how much they love that person.

[toulouse]

I think, its more that people can elicit feelings in yourself that you want to undergo some transitioning, but its all still part of who you are. I don't think its really changing, and it doesn't happen unless you want to. even so called ding it for someone else, is because YOU care.

[Eiffelgirl21]

true..I see your point

[7gnat]

Lost her. But I tried to do so many things and succeeded. She made me a better provider and more responsible but I doubt she really loved me anyways because she gave nothing back to me after I transformed.

[Eiffelgirl21]

aww I'm sorry :-/

[7gnat]

thx pretty girl.

[Eiffelgirl21]

thanks :-)

[Anonymous]

She died in a car wreck because of a drunk driver. If, when I find the man. I will kill him and make it look like suicide.

[Eiffelgirl21]

aww I'm sorry :-/