I've never been this low in my whole life. How to cope with failure in your early 20s if you've always been successful before?

[Anonymous]

In high school I used to be a 'chad' (I could easily 'get' girls) because I was very authentic and confident. I was also a top student. I thought I was destined for greatness. At university I had my first serious relationship. After we ended it, almost two years ago, I was very depressed, because she was my first love. I only had one girl and a couple of dates in the meantime. Now I'm disgusted with 'getting' girls and I just want a wife, but I am too anxious whenever I see a girl who is wife material. After graduation I got a job, but I quit it because I was never used to not doing good work and my boss was demanding and always expecting more. Now I'm too anxious and depressed to date and apply for a job anymore. I moved back with my parents and I do an online course. I can't see my friends much because they have jobs, relationships or both. I am in great shape though. I go to the gym every day to relieve frustration.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn bro, that sounds really rough. Breakups always suck, but your first love hurts the worst. And job stuff on top of that has just gotta be draining.

But don't be so hard on yourself - everyone hits bumps, especially in their early 20s when so much is changing. Cut yourself some slack man! You were slaying it in high school and still have your whole life ahead.

For now, focus on what you CAN control. Your gym sessions are awesome self-care - make sure you're nurturing your mental health too though, like taking time to relax and do stuff you enjoy.

As for dating and jobs, just take the pressure off for a bit. Work on being comfortable with yourself first. Spend time with your real friends, not just cause they're busy but to remind yourself how loved you are. You'll get your mojo back, just gotta be patient.

This too shall pass dude. Twenties are about figuring shit out - you've got your whole prime ahead! Chin up - better days are coming, I know it. Hit me up if you ever wanna talk more or get out for a guys night. You've got this man!

[tierrlamé]

You have hope. You managed to keep your health up and you clearly have self discipline both with your job and health. You just need to go out there more often. You'll find her.

[Asker]

I have some self-discipline because I don't want to ruin my whole life

[tierrlamé]

exacly. you just need to put that mindset to finding someone too

[laly520]

its fine to fail just keep on trying
failure is part of the process