I lost my cool during my sports game today, was I wrong?

[Design_x]

I play field hockey, and I was on the field with the ball when someone from the other team SLAMMED into me and started smashing at my stick with hers in an attempt to get the ball. The ref blew the whistle but she kept going at it aggressively. I'm ridiculously strong for a girl (most guys tell me I am strong), so I didn't fall or get hurt.

Despite that fact, I was pretty mad about it. I didn't have much time to think about how to deal with the situation, so I let my instincts take over.

When she stopped her crazy chopping after a bit... I turned around with my eyes angry wide, arms out to the sides and took a couple steps towards her. Sort of like a "Really? Bring it." posture, if you can picture it.

She stepped backwards and her other team member came between us and told me to "P I ss off".

I'm a very fit, fast, and skilled player so I wanted to set a good example for the less experienced players on my team. Unfortunately I feel that I let my instincts take over today, which did not display the best sportsmanship.

What do you think?

Updates

+1 y

I kept my self control for the rest of the season!

At the end of the season, I was given an award by my coach that basically meant "MVP". She doesn't call it "MVP" because it's discouraging to other players though... but we all know what the award implies. ;)

[Lax4life]

Okay I play Lacrosse and I have done the exact same thing haha! so I play defence and this one atacker was running twords me so I checked her stick and caught the ball and started to run the other direction...She got mad...she turned around and hit me with her stick..like she totaly full on hit my side with her shaft...(there was a huge bruise all the way acrosse my stomch, side,and on my arm) and then she brought it back up and hit my hand..ya she ended up spraining my wrist(f*** her..js) so the reff blew his whistel and she stopped..i droped my stick and turned on her...just like you did..and I got up right in her face and yelled "Are you F-ing serious!" and I was like inches away from her..she just looked at me(we were at eye level) and she just went "what are you gonna do about it?" so I pushed her...then she pushed me...then I pushed her again..then she tried to punch me so I grabbed her arm and grabed her ponytail and was in the prosses of throwing her on the ground, when one of my team mates came and grabed me from behind and broke us apart...she got up off the ground called me a female dog and she tried to kick me in my knee (I had an injured knee...ended up getting surgury on it) so I tripped her...Yeah I got in a lot of trouble with my coach hahaha...the reff kicked me and the other girl out of the tournament too :( I guess we kinda deserved it tho haha

so ya I don't think YOU lost your cool...i have never done anything like that^ before tht haha...i REALLY lost my cool that day...lol...I feel really super bad for doing what I did that day..but when your playing a sport like lacrosse or feild hockey..your insticts are going to come out lol

[Design_x]

Thanks so much for sharing your experience! I can understand why you did what you did though-- especially because she physically hurt you. Sports can get so crazy sometimes, I suppose instincts are sort of inevitable!

[internet_user]

What you did was right Lax, the bitch deserved it.

[Lax4life]

your welcome! Yeah I kinda wish I didn't do that..but I kinda love that I did lol. and yes sports do get crazy sometimes hahaha. I kinda wish I let her throw that punch cause if she has actully hit me, she would of been kicked out of the league(and someone with anger problems like her shouldn't be playing in a league as respectful as that one haha) but I'm a black belt in martial arts so..when I saw that fist coming twords my face..my instincts kicked in haha

[Lax4life]

thank you @amrit_gamer...i just wish the reff agreed with you hahaha

[guy532]

I solute you ;)

[Lax4life]

why thank you (:

i solute you for not getting in that fight with the wanna be douchebag who kicked you ha ha ;)

[candlewax]

You were, but it's sort of meh. You didn't throw any punches or anything. Just showed total frustration with the situation and were blowing off some steam. It happens. Just as long as it doesn't continue to be a common thing with you, then whatever. We've all had our moments out there.

[theydidntnameme]

you were wrong. maybe its a little different in hockey (im not into hockey) but in most sports if someone crosses the line you need to keep your cool. usually you'll get a penalty for this, like giving the other team free shots, or getting yourself ejected. those things hurt your team, and the reason you're playing the game is to win.

it just comes from experience and being a mature player. when you get more experienced you'll learn to control yourself and let your opponent make the mistakes.

heres an example. here's kobe bryant getting into a fight during his early years in the league:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6xjUBQFT-g

now here's him much more recently (and much later in his career). ill give you two examples just to show you. in both of these he doesn't fight at all..

here the other player (matt barnes) is really trying to get kobe kicked out of the game because its the playoffs and it would make a huge difference in the outcome. but it doesn't work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1x9zHiSgxY

and here's the second example..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFy1V44x6is

you don't want to teach the less experienced players on your team to get mad and start fighting.. you want to teach them how to get better so theyll be better players, not better fighters.. :)

[Design_x]

That makes sense. I admire how Kobe handled the aggression. I've got to learn from that. Thanks for the links and comparisons!

[theydidntnameme]

no problem :)

[longrodvonhugendong]

Kobe looks like a guy with a hot girl pressing up against him in front of his wife. "He honey, look where my hands are! No touching!"

[guy532]

You were wrong, but f*** it the bitch deserved it lol. I lost my cool once during lacrosse and I have no regrets so I don't think you should either.

[Design_x]

How should I have handled it? I feel that simply being submissive is too weak of an option.

[guy532]

the fact that you didn't fall or get hurt should be enough, just walking away like nothing happened with your head held high is the perfect example you can give. Yet again, I do believe that if someones a d*** to you you have every right to do the same...you've put me in a moral dilemma lol.

[Design_x]

I agree. For some sad reason I didn't think of doing that. I'm definitely going to keep that in mind from now on. As for the moral dilemma, it was exactly why I asked this question! Anyways, always a lesson learned. Did you get into an actual fist fight in lacrosse?

[guy532]

what happened was I was the goalie and when the ball was on the other side of the field and everyone was concentrating there (including me) this guy from the other team enters my circle which is against the rules and kicked my shin (who the f*** does that) and ran off. I tolled him I remember your number and to try that again...the dumbass tried it again which resulted in him being tossed on his ass (I just shoved him never threw a punch even though I REALLY wanted to), ref never saw it but

[guy532]

everyone else did including my coach who was pissed because I was the only goalie and if I got tossed then we would basically have handed the game to them.

[Lax4life]

wow watta @ss hole...hahah at my brothers game a guy was pissing the goalie off so much tht the goalie came out of the crease just to punch the guy haha...

[Design_x]

Ridiculous, he should've never done that. You already warned him once, and he tried it again. He definitely asked for it.

[guy532]

yea players always tease the goalie the most out of everyone else since he has so much of a factor in the outcome of a game. I've wanted to run out and beat the living crap out of some players, but I can restrain myself lol. The worse is when the ball was down in/close to the circle and I would put my stick over it so they couldn't get to it and instead of hitting my stick they would aim at my shins/arms and the ref could never see it since there were so many people around, this happened every

[guy532]

game..lacrosse goalies have it the worst out of basically any other sport.

[Lax4life]

Yes they do...i play defence so I help the goalie out..alot.. ha ha so if a girl is trying to bait the goalie I usually walk up to them or watever and ill always be like "hey just because your intimedated by the goalie doesn't mean you have to be such a d*ck to her.." they usually get mad at me..

and it really sucks tht the ref doesn't see the players hitting you...theres so many things you can do in lacrosse without getting caught haha

[jaspersbabe]

this wasn't wrong at all. You did less than what most people would have done (I'm pretty hotheaded myself) and, as far as I understand, didn't even do anything worth a penalty like screaming at her or actually throwing punches. I know you want to set a good example, but sometimes the best example is to show them that you won't take crap lying down.

[Opalivian]

I`m guessing she was also probably angry before the game at something else. Don`t take it personally. What you did is also very normal human reaction. By adding the "Really? Bring it" is just fueling her up more. Either ignore it next time or look for a fight. There is nothing else you can do. In my opinion, ignorance is bliss.

[internet_user]

I don't think what you did was wrong. She heard the whistle too, she was supposed to stop too, still she was continuing. And this was happening with you. You are a sportsperson. So, what you did was completely natural.

If you had done something like cursing her or physically assaulting her on the light of what you have said above, then it would have been wrong.

[Anonymous]

I've known a lot of girls that are stronger than most men. My girlfriend is a lot stronger than most girls and definitely stronger than me physically and mentally. We practice martial arts in Tokyo and I'm pretty sure she could kill me if she wanted to. She knows Japanese martial arts with the swords and can jump really high and do some crazy acrobatics stuff with swords. I only know regular kempo.

She can yell at people a lot when she's mad, but I think it's really cute even though I don't tell her so because it will just make her more upset (:

[Anonymous]

I think yeah, you should tone it down a little, but what she did was stupid. But if you want to be a good influence then you have to work at it. But if you weren't trying to be a good influence, I would say hell na, she deserved it.

[toulouse]

@I'm ridiculously strong for a girl (most guys tell me I am strong), so I didn't fall or get hurt.

youre a f***ing moron.

and stupid for having a tantrum.

[Mr_Solo_Dolo]

Yep,you were wrong.