Is this guy interested or just being polite?

[Anonymous]

I am a married mom and I go to a gym for workout classes and there is this guy there that is a trainer and he will often be training people when us women are working out. I have caught him looking at me sometimes but then again we are a roomful of women I just assume he is looking at all of us in there checking us out. So he had to take over for my instructor last week and he taught the class I am in so I made brief contact with him as I had to cause he was teaching (by contact I mean talking) never talked to him before that and this week when I came for my class he was there and I walked by him and then I forgot something in the room so I had to go by him again to get to my class and then he said hello and asked how I was and started to come over and talk to me. He stood by me and he seemed a little close not uncomfortable close but close enough. He made eye contact with me during conversation and his eyebrows seemed to be slightly raised when talking with me. Now remember he never spoke to me till that one class.he knows I have kids as I take them to the daycare there he must assume I am married or have a boyfriend at least. Is he just being polite or do you think there is something more to him ?

[Stacyzee]

He is being friendly.

There is a possibility he may like you.

However, based on the information you gave me its still pretty hard to tell.

You'd have to watch out for more signs to be able to tell for sure.

[marciamarcia]

It seems like he finds you physically attractive if he invaded your space like that and kept his eyebrows raised, but he probably wasn't really conscious of his behavior.

[HughR]

I'm not so sure about that. A lot of us are very aware of how we're flirting ;)

[HughR]

Many (not most but many) married women would take advantage of the opportunities so he may be eying you as a potential play date.

[Asker]

Well it's definitely still fun to flirt even if I am married but that's as far as I go :)

[HughR]

That could be enough for him or he might be persistent and want more. For what it's worth, and it's not at a gym, there's a married woman I see somewhat regularly and for almost a decade, I've let her know exactly how hot she is. If she was going to cheat, I am pretty sure I'd be the lucky guy but she keeps it to flirting. (I can tell when they're having bedroom "trouble" because her flirting is much more sexual but I've never told her that.)

Would that bother you if your admirer told you?

[Asker]

If he told me he thought I was hot I would be flattered he is a good looking guy and he's younger than me too I think. But yes I would just stick to flirting with him there's nothing wrong with some light flirting even when married still :)

[HughR]

What if, over time, his flirting started to include touching your arm?

[Asker]

Depends how well I knew him then. I have a married male friend and we flirt with each other. His wife and I are friends and he is friends with my hubby. We like to touch each other when given then chance but we would never do anything. And by touch I mean a hand linger here and there when handing each other something out hands always touch and a slight bumping of the legs if we are sitting my each other. I think we have an understanding that that's as far as it goes

[HughR]

If all four of you agreed to swap, would you?

[Asker]

I would have to say yes. I know our spouses would not go for it but I know this guy wants to sleep with me. It's pretty evident in the way he looks at me and touches me. Most men don't touch women unless they are attracted to them am I right ?

[HughR]

Either they're attracted to them or they're picking their pocket :)

I don't know if your relationships would stand up for the pressure but, often, when someone broaches the notion of a menage or a swap, they're surprised that the other parties were thinking the same thing.

Would you want to make it a menage, all in the same bed, or would you just swap homes?

[Asker]

I think if any of us were ever brave enough to talk or do anything about it I personally would like to just swap partners. I would have to be highly intoxicated to have a foursome I have talked about it with my husband not long ago asked if he was ever wanting to do a threesome and that if he did he can talk about it with me and he said he wasn't . I find that hard to believe though most men wouldn't pass it up right? But ya if we could swap I would be all over him like a dirty shirt

[HughR]

I love the image of you as the dirty shirt :)

When you talked about a 3some with hubby, did he think you meant mfm or fmf? A lot of guys are insecure about a second guy being in the mix and some get really worried that "their swords will cross".

Do you imagine that the four of you are having dinner and your friends bring over a few bottles of really nice wine. You're all feeling the effects and the conversation turns to something sexy - maybe about who is the better kisser. And then...

[Asker]

That's actually a very good scenario! Actually we have them and a few other couples coming over next weekend for drinks so I will suggest a game one that involves dares and stuff. And also see if he comes onto me more when he is drunk (he has in the past) I would love to tease him a little when we are drinking. You know a few touches here and there discreetly and have him follow me to another room for some "help" and see how he would respond

[HughR]

Don't be shy about letting us know how it works out. What if he turns out to be the lightweight and falls asleep on your couch as the party is winding down.

That could go two way - you and hubby could "play" with his wife or you could convince her that he might as well stay and sleep it off. Imagine hearing him get up and pee - and sneaking out to take a peek so you can finally see his cock. And it's hard, and big, and nicely shaped.

[Asker]

Hahaha well we will see how it goes. I was thinking along the lines of me having to go to another room to look for something and give him a look that means I want him to follow and see if he does and see how much touching he would do if he would go a bit further than he has in the past. I would love to tease him and grind against him to get him all hot and bothered. FYI. his wife doesn't put out very often. This is why I think he is sexually attracted to me. He knows we have a lot of sex

[HughR]

What if he uses the excuse of the alcohol to press forward and if you're just drunk enough to let it get out of hand? Maybe you lean forward and he skins your panties down before you even notice and he starts kissing you from behind?

[Asker]

Lol I seriously doubt it would ever go that far. Neither he nor I have the balls to let it get that out of hand although like I said if our spouses agreed to us having sex and trying each other out I would let him do anything he wants to me :) his wife is not very adventurous in the bedroom so I would like to show him what he is missing :)

[Asker]

That sounded very naughty too by the way :) (what you said earlier)

[HughR]

LOL - you're so sweet. Part of me wonders just how vanilla this guy must be if you've got things to teach him. I suspect that I might terrify you.

As for being naughty... you must have me confused with someone else because I'm never naughty. Just as pure as driven snow.

[Asker]

Oh I am not saying I have things to teach him but that maybe he's not getting certain things and misses the adventure I am sure he has done some things just I suspect his wife is not into alot. How would you terrify me? I don't scare easily :)

[HughR]

Since you're anonymous, I can't share via a message and some things are best not put into open, public fora no matter how much comfort I have sharing details.

You seem adventurous and I bet you like being admired but only when you feel "safe" and in control. What if it was less safe or if your were in a compromised position?

[Asker]

Depends what you mean by less safe or compromised position ?

[KingJR]

If there was something more there, what would you do?

[Asker]

Nothing I am just curious. So is there? It's natural to be curious about it

[abundantlyrich]

if he went beyond a 'hello'. He's slightly interested.

[Anonymous]

its cna be flirty or just firendly, either way I would stop meeting him or whatever.

[Anonymous]

well he might want you and doesn't care about your relationship status.

[Anonymous]

why do you even care about this thing?