How can I stop myself from overthinking so illogically even when there’s no reason to overthink?

[graacceey]

I built up the courage to actually speak to a guy I took a liking to. We work together. I got the courage because I have caught him staring at me. He always speaks to me as in always says hey and ask how I I’m doing when he walk passes me. So, I decided to ask him for his number. Assuming that maybe he thought I was attractive just like I think he’s attractive. He didn’t hesitate. He gave it to me. I texted him before leaving work. He responded and told me not to be nervous around him and that he doesn’t bite. He also said I made his day at work interesting because I asked for his number. Then he said that he wasn’t much of a texter but he does want me to go out with him after new years to get to know me more. I responded with okay. I respected the fact that he said he isn’t a texter and of course he didn’t respond because he did in other words let me know he likes face to face interaction so that could mean he’s gonna wait until the next time he sees me at work to actually talk to me in person. Set up at date etc which makes sense but the overthinking part of me Is assuming the worse. Like he was too scared to say no when I asked for his number and now he’s pretending to like me although signs point toward the opposite.

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, overthinking is the worst! But don't sweat it too much, happens to the best of us. From what you described though, I really don't think he was just saying yes to your number and isn't actually interested. Here's why:

- He volunteers information like saying you make his day interesting. Guys don't usually say stuff like that if they're trying to get away.

- Specifically saying he wants to get to know you more after the holidays is a clear sign of interest.

- Not being a big texter is valid - lots of guys just prefer face to face. Nothing to do with you!

My advice would be try your best to stay positive. Don't analyze every little thing or you'll drive yourself nuts. Give it time, see how the date goes once it happens. In the meantime, if you start spiraling just do something active to get your mind off it, like exercising or video games.

Also remember - even if he ends up not feeling it romantically, that doesn't say anything bad about you. Can't force chemistry. But for now all the signals point to him liking you back, so try enjoying it! You got this.

[Vikkrram]

Ahh girl you asked for the number, you got that , got an reply , set up a date. Cool just go ahead.

Don't be a looser like me I apologized to my crush for messaging her into her social media account coz i thought that it was wrong. She even asked me that should I want to say something else and i said no haha.

Buddy you rocked don't overthink.

[graacceey]

Yea. I think what really made me overthink was the fact that after he texted and told me he wanted to take me out to get to know me more and then said he wasn’t much of a texter. I replied with a simple okay and told him I would like that (going out and getting to know one another.) but that was hours ago and he hasn’t replied but he did directly say he wasn’t a texter and he I and both know that we will see each other at work. I guess it would be different if he was someone I met randomly and possibly had a rare chance of seeing him again.

[graacceey]

And like I said he also told me that I didn’t have to be nervous around him. Which I believe is his way of letting me know like
“You can actually talk to me when you see me.” Lol

[Vikkrram]

As i said ma'am don't worry don't overthink

[AngryCarl]

There's no good solution, but a lobotomy (from Greek λοβός (lobos) 'lobe', and τομή (tomē) 'cut, slice') or leucotomy is a discredited form of neurosurgical treatment for psychiatric disorder or neurological disorder (e. g. epilepsy, depression) that involves severing connections in the brain's prefrontal cortex.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry, he just put you in the bullpen. You just need to warm up that arm for when he calls you up. ⚾️

[graacceey]

What’s a bullpen

[graacceey]

I see that being as he does find you attractive and does like you but is dealing with a specific someone at the moment. Could be why when he mentioned me going out with him he specifically said it would be after New years.

[graacceey]

When I asked if he had a girlfriend he said “I wouldn’t say that.” It wasn’t a direct yes or no.

[graacceey]

So I believe it’s someone special in his life and he’s doing more than just dating her while dating other women because that could have always been the case but it doesn’t seem that way.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I was being deliberately non specific for a reason. Yeah I caught that when I read your question that he said "after" news years. It could simply be he has plans for new years. Could be a woman, might not be a woman. But I feel the fact the fact that he didn't jump at the chance of dating you right now could potentially say something. Which is why I said "put you in the bullpen".
We always want to see love as innocent, beautiful and someone as only having eyes for us. Butvgenerally the reality is the other person is weighing about 3 or four other options. Not saying this is the case. Just saying this is a very REAL possibility. It's up to you what you want to do with that information. What you should NEVER do though is comprise on demanding respect. And you should never accept being someone's second choice or side chick.
Good luck let us know how it comes out.

[graacceey]

No I get it. I mean i approached him he never approached me although I could sense he was interested, he never made the move and if a guy doesn’t jump at dating you right then and there and doesn’t jump at making the first move right then and there then it’s like you said, he has something going on and it’s s big possibility that that something is other women or another woman specifically.

[graacceey]

And it’s not much I can do. He hasn’t replied since yesterday and I haven’t double texted or anything. I’ve been silent he’s been silent. I will run into him at work I’m sure once my off days are up and I can get a better understanding from a face to face conversation but it’s not much I can do lol.