Marriage & Weddings

Reason for so many deadbeat fathers

Reason for so many deadbeat fathers

What I’m going to say won’t be popular but it’s an unspoken problem that really needs to be discussed…

Because women, who by and large are the sole custodian, make it hard, unpleasant and sometimes even impossible

Women trigger something like 80% of divorces. Women make up the vast majority of single parent households.

Even though many trigger the divorce, many act like bitter shrews and act out First Wives’ Club as some sort of manual and they use children as pawns.

I cannot count the number of times I’ve seen women act like utter psychopaths. Their child’s father has lost his job, may even be facing near homelessness and they’re still pissed and willing to call the courts or parole officer if he’s even $5 short on child support one time. And if he is they just shut the door in his face, refuse to answer his calls and cut off his contact with his child.

Most men do not want to go to court and many simply couldn’t afford it and stand to lose more than they’d ever gain because they cannot afford a lawyer at all, or a decent one, and are likely to have what little rights or visitation they have stripped away. It’s no secret that family courts are not kind to fathers, especially those that are struggling.

Many quickly realize that the person it hurts the most is the child and back off voluntarily. Mothers can act incredibly bitter towards children who remind them of their exes and the more the father presses, the more the mothers can lash out or make the child miserable. So many men back off to try and spare their child.

Many women also treat co-parenting as one-sided. That it’s the father that has to do all the work because being the custodial parent means you’ve “done enough.” That no matter what demand they make, the father is obligated to jump to it and fulfill it “cuz custodial parent” which they hold over their heads like a bludgeon. Even as a custodial parent, you still have to compromise and put in work and be reasonable.

Are there many men who are simply deadbeats who can’t be bothered? Sure. But I think the sadder thing that no one wants to acknowledge is the many men who do but are driven away by juvenile nonsense from the mothers.

And you can say “Nothing would stop me!” or that the men should just “Get over it and visit” but when the mother is threatening to make a [fake] abuse or rape or even pedophilic abuse charge, you would almost certainly shut up and back off too.

Reason for so many deadbeat fathers
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