Do you think we should destigmatize pedophilia?

Question

Obviously pedophilia is wrong. But there is a big difference between someone who has pedophilic thoughts and someone who acts on them. Obviously child molesters should be punished, but pedophilia should be destigmatized so it's easier for them to seek the help they need before they hurt someone rather than after.

Pedophilia itself isn't a choice. Nobody chooses to have those thoughts. It's a psychiatric disorder which can be managed with psychotherapy and medication.

This is only one of many psychiatric disorders that are stigmatized to the point of people with them are too scared to come forward and do something about it.

msmissydc · Accepted Answer

Yes and no and I think its actually a tricky problem how to handle. They need to be able to get help before they act on their thoughts. On the other hand those that do fall under two categories rapists and those that get child porn. Both of these are obviously not even close to be acceptable. Before they act on it they need help making sure they are NOT acting on it, and in some cases maybe even have a change altogether. Sadly I dont think it is possible or at least very hard to change sexual interests and likes. We need to be carefull not to normalize is and we need to stay far away from making it "ok" because this is just making it easier for people to think they can be accepted by society after doing it, which I hope is a big deterrence.

We need less of them or none of them at best but because of that is not an option I think we need less of them to act. Those that know they shouldn't do it, know they can't put their own desire over the health of someone else and those that just know its wrong can maybe be helped to never act on it and than they could be helped before they change.

So what I am saying here in short: You can't change your sexual likes, and a those that know its wrong are not bad people inherently. This is also a win-win situation: Helping the possible perpetrator, in this case also helps having less victims! There is no reason not to do it. The question is the how and making is "ok" or normalizing it is not the right way.

Except this again is a case of: I dont care about the victims I just want to punish everyone!

Genie23 · Accepted Answer

No, we shouldn't "normalise" paedophilia. Treating it like it's not a big deal will only make people with disturbing thoughts about children feel it's okay to have these thoughts and might even act on them than seek help thinking there's something seriously wrong and feel guilty for having these thoughts. Having sexual thoughts about children is as bad as acting upon them. Most people who have these thoughts DID and do act upon their interest and urges eventually and by that I mean they abuse and assault their own child and also neighbour's child and children AND even few ended up killing a child who they felt was a threat and would tell on them. It's just a matter of time. I've heard many cases like this and it makes me sick to my stomach and makes me scared for kids.

In order to prevent these crimes from happening, they should feel guilt and shame, so they can accept this is NOT okay and will seek help because it's a dangerous thing it will mess up kids for life if one day they lose control and act upon it.

RavVid · Accepted Answer

Nobody is a stranger to sexual attraction - we all experience it. In a male pedophile brain there is something a bit scrambled because normally it is only when a girl develops breasts and hips that she becomes sexually attractive. Undoubtedly male pedo's like 8 yo girls like I like 18 yo girls.

Whilst we all experience sexual attraction & desire, we equally all experience sexual restraint. When I hit puberty I thought 18 yo girls were hot but they weren't for me then. Broadly I still do but they aren't for me now.

So as well as being a bit scrambled in terms of age of girl a male pedo feels desire for, their brains are a bit scrambled in terms of restraint. I'd suggest it needs both of those scramblings for pedophilia to happen. It takes a desire for 8 yo plus a lack of constraint.

Now I don't pretend to know what happens in a female pedophiles brain but I presume it must be much the same - a sexual desire for a child plus a lack of restraint. The only difference is, for physical reasons, boy is most likely post puberty though that is not a given.

So where i am going is stigmatizing performs a useful social function. It directly addresses one leg of the problem - arguably the primary problem of lacking restraint. I therefore disagree.

How could you destigmatize without saying it is OK? Instead of saying it is vile, say it is not very nice. I can't see it.

NamerOfStars · Accepted Answer

Yes- to a degree, at least. It's a mental illness, not a choice, and I agree that simply forcing people to repress it (since admitting it is social and career, if not physical, suicide) is just going to weaken them further psychologically until it finally explodes and an innocent child gets hurt.

I'd bet good money that there's even some level of stigma within the psychology community about researchers who look for new ways to help these people, since it's seen as "legitimizing" pedophilia.

Apple1996 · Answer

Nah thinking about it is still just as wrong as doing it. Also most of these creeps that "just think" about kids are also very into child porn to fulfill their urges so they are still doing something illegal.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Yeah by the time ya have done that how many Pedo's have then just then acted upon it?
Theoretically you can help anyone with therapy like killers or abusers but how many deaths or abuse or Pedophilia in the case would it be worth it to help that person?

It's like Bojack I mean he got help eventually and wasn't 100% a bad person he just needed help and had a lot issues from where it always comes from childhood, but how many deaths did he cause? how much pain and bad things did he do?
And what kept him doing those bad things? mostly the fact he wasn't held responsible and always escaping it.

Think about it if people start to make out of those thoughts are just disorders many will just use that as an excuse. I will bet you anything that more would abuse this system rather than get actual help. "Oh it wasn't me it was the alcohol!" "Oh it wasn't me I can't help what I am attracted to!"
People should get help but the point is people don't whether stigmatised or not and if we are talking about something really bad like this it been less stigmatised is just more opportunity for excuses than help really.

Blackcupcake · Answer

they can seek professional help and go to therapy if they do want help now too and there’s absolutely nothing stopping them, if they want the help. also, therapists are professionals, they will not sit there and judge the individual, so I don’t see why they can’t seek that help now even when pedophilia is stigmatised as it should be. I do not think that it should be normalised because people will stop reacting to it if they see it happening, and that is extremely dangerous. Pedophilia is awful and disgusting, and that is how it should be perceived. If someone has pedophilic thoughts without acting on it and WANTS help, they have the choice to seek help. no therapist will say “ewww a pedo, no go away.”

Siri137 · Answer

Your question is based upon the premise that it's unfair to stigmatise paedophiles because those who have these desires and thoughts will "seek help" if only they weren't judged or discouraged from doing so, but I'm not so sure about that. Do correct me if I'm wrong about this, but isn't it the case that the majority of them  don't  believe that their desires for children are wrong, and that this is the main reason why so many of them reoffend? If that's true, then they won't want to be counselled. In order for counselling to work, the person involved has to first admit to themselves, and confront the fact, that they have a problem.

FreyaRed · Answer

No, we should purge pedophiles from our societies with al possible means. We shouldn't only punish pedophiles but everyone who tries to normalize pedophilia. There is nothing more destructive than a pedophile because pedos destroy lives of children and don't deserve any mercy and sympathy.

Kiss_Me · Answer

Pedophilia is the SEXUAL ATTRACTION to PREPUBESENT children. Having these desires is a mental illness, but acting on this is the real issue. Due to the extreme overuse of the term (Sex with Anyone under 18 years old) why someone would be wary of admitting they have a problem and seeking help?

It is a touchy issue. Some will see it as helping prevent child rape, while others will see it as normalizing and endangering children.

As long as the emphasis was heavily placed on getting treatment, I could support relaxing the extreme reactions of those that admit they have a problem.

Levin · Answer

I definitely think there's different levels to this.

A lady I work with, her partner's friend has just been found to have been f'ing numerous 2 year olds, and has filmed it on his mobile phone. He's been convicted and sentenced to 20 odd years so far, and will likely get more. The most egregious crime. 'twas in the local newspaper. Oddly I don't think it made national news.

Obviously different to someone who has ideation but would never act on it.

Trying to treat this in a more objective medical way may represent a step forward.

I don't think a medical model approach can fully treat this. Which would leave space for humanistic or whole person therapies, which usually would involve compassion. It's a controversial one, to have compassion for a paedophile (yes, you are American :)).

It's a notably stubborn condition, and people will say by being compassionate you are being apologetic.

Effably · Answer

I reckon it is enough to normalize asking for help and trusting in the confidentiality of your psychiatrist. Destigmatizing pedophilia I do not feel neccessary or useful in itself.

Making people feel that they can seek help, regardless of what troubles them, and that this help will not judge them negatively for what is honestly a good action.

You can get help without having to tell everyone why. Of course this still demands a change in narrative about what is fine to seek help for to go from trauma, strees and alike to anything. Seems doable. Certainly easier than making people sympathize with pedophilia. And it comes with the bonus that a lot of other ailments would also receive professional help.

Whatthefluff · Answer

I can have respect for people who have intrusive pedophilic thoughts but have enough self-control to not act upon them. Pedophilia is considered a mental disorder with a basis in neurology. I do think that most pedophiles wouldn’t be so if they could help it. So I do think it should be destigmatized so that these people can get help and come up with a plan to keep the youth in society safe and themselves out of trouble. As for those who have already traumatized children, I do not have much respect for them and feel ill at ease at the thought alone. But I believe that some percentage, however small, of these traumatic incidences may be avoided by encouraging those with this disorder to seek help.

exitseven · Answer

Destigmatizing it will just make it worse. Years ago there was a big stigma about being a junkie. Only pond scum were drug addicts. Now it is considered "a disease" and insurance will pay for treatment and there are people making tons of money "treating" drug addicts and the mexicans can hardly keep up with the demand for cheap dope. Destigmatizing pedophilia will only make the problem worse. There should be a good amount of shame to go along with drug addiction and there should be shame involved in being a pedophile.

Anonymous · Answer

That's assuming the person actually wants to get help, which they often times do not.

My father is a pedophile (not with me, thank God), and has spent several years in prison for it. However, despite court cases, prison time, therapy, and probation, he still insists that he did nothing wrong, and doesn't understand why he ever got in trouble for it.

Granted, he is only one example, and the only one that I've personally known, but some people are just so broken that they will never voluntarily seek help, nor will they ever get better.

At least in his case, destimatizing it would only further reinforce the delusions of sick, twisted perverts like him.

MementoMori777 · Answer

If you destigmatize it, it's just a step closer to normalizing pedophilia, there's already many pedophiles in politians, if they see people showing sympathy for them, they will eventually push for it, you'll have another movement but for pedophilia, they can end up pushing a law that lowers the age of consent to the age of children, I doubt anyone wants that.

jshm2 · Answer

You can shoehorn your argument for bestiality and necrophilia as well.

Basically what you're saying is "what one's feels, shouldn't be illegal to act upon".

Religion bans these with the concept of sin. But with the neglect of religion, you're seeing why civilisations fail.

noamazia · Answer

maybe, but where would you draw the line? obviously child pornography is bad right? but if its a cartoon is it then ok? but what If it's just a compilation of clips from the internet (like from someone's birthday video from youtube) where kids yell or sigh or make other noises so that person gets off it?
what I'm saying is that sometimes, even though having these thoughts should not be a death sentence, making them "ok" gives legitimacy, and blurs the line.

DextroShade · Answer

How about we save the lupron and castration for them instead of gender-confused children? I accept that they are that why through no fault of their own, but they and their would be victims would be better off if they turned into eunuchs. That way they can still live and contribute to society without diddling kids.

Sexiestjohnson · Answer

I don't agree that it should be destigmatised. Anyone who needs help should go for it. I almost fell into child molestation. Little girls molested me all through my child hood. Thank God for God. The stigma is a plus is building self control. Please let it remain.

Anonymous · Answer

That's like asking to desigmatize the thoughts of potential serial killers. I agree, they need therapy, but first, the first: mental health specialist needs to assure they'll not hurt anyone, and that's only possible with putting them under the surveillance of law enforcement.

LordOfThePines · Answer

You cannot be serious. No, of course not. They have access to therapy and medication as is, but most do not seek it as they see nothing wrong with themselves. Fear and shame is what keeps many from acting on it, so to want to remove that is dangerous.

DarkLegacy · Answer

Trust the mods to get butt hurt and try and remove the question. What we stop do is stop calling men who have sex with a girl who has reached puberty paedophiles because that is not what the word means. It refers to men with sexual interest in pre pubescent kids. But yes we should not stigmatize it. And should certainly not allow anti vigilante attacks on sex offenders.

MysticDevice · Answer

Obviously you can't control peoples' thoughts. I still say those who have those specific thoughts should keep it to themselves and never act on it. Get help and therapy if that's what they need, but never act on it.

Those who do act on it obviously must be punished. Severely.

My siblings are still children and some of my friends have kids of their own. So I, personally, have a zero tolerance policy on pedos.

Do you think we should destigmatize pedophilia?

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