Encourage wife to flirt - to help our relationship?

[Anonymous]

So I have been married for 7 years, with 3 kids. Basically my wife tells me that the compliments I give her are not believable - i. e. they are great but she simply doesn't believe them.

After a long conversation, she admitted that the only way she can feel sexy etc is to flirt and have it validated by other people and so she needs to hear it and or see it from someone other than me and so may need to seek this out. In the long run she says that will help our relationship

My question is (1) Should I be worried (2) is this normal? (3) Should I encourage it? (I honestly don't have an issue with this at all, and have thought of scenarios to help this situation occur, e. g. girls night out, dancing with other guys etc... as long as she comes home to me - but haven't explicitly encouraged it - i. e. the seeking out of compliments via flirting

Any advice most welcome!

[truthbeknown]

Ok, I can totally see where she is coming from. We all want to look good and still know we are attractive in general to validate our own self-worth. She knows you love her, no matter what. Your opinion is naturally biased so that really doesn't help her with her own confidence. This is where outside input is needed to make her feel attractive and help her know she is attractive. Normal, yes, we all want to be considered attractive to anyone, not just a spouse. Should you encourage it, yes, if this gives your wife the confidence she needs to strengthen your relations, then fine. Should you be worried, no, BUT... Like other posts have said, this can lead to more and more attention seeking behavior that may lead down a path where simple flirting is not enough anymore. So step cautiously. If your wife any capacity to cheat and leave you, doing this or not won't matter and eventually she will cheat anyway. So you might as well go along with it and try to help your wife get the confidence she need and trust her that she is genuine in her desires to only make your marriage together stronger!

[Sex_Panther]

My question is (1) Should I be worried?

Yes.

(2) is this normal?

Actually, yes, it is.

(3) Should I encourage it?

In a sense. If you want to encourage it make sure she does it via webcam or something on a website that allows her to show off and get paid for it so that you can profit as well as she can be the emotionally needy hot slut she needs to be.

[Cleveland]

You should be worried - She will need more and more validation from other people once she gets a taste.

Its normal to a certain degree - It's normal to want it, but somewhat abnormal for her to tell you she needs other men to validate what you have already said. Everyone likes a compliment, but most of us don't go seeking it when in a committed relationship unless we are unhappy.

Don't encourage it - You may think not being the jealous type is ideal, but in fact, if she is the way I think she is based on your post, she may view that as you don't care. Speaking from personal experience.

In a nutshell, she isn't satisfied with her life and possibly isn't satisfied with your marriage. Best of luck.

[PinkAcid]

I understand why she thinks other people will help with her confidence, she thinks you'll be nice to her as her husband out of love and habit whereas a stranger isn't scared to hurt someone's feelings with the truth so their flirting must be genuine interest which means they genuinely find her attractive. It's normal to disbelieve someone close to you when it comes to compliments and its up to you if you trust your wife enough to let her go flirt with others but I personally don't think I'd be comfortable with the situation if I were you. She might get the wrong idea if you encourage her to flirt, she might think you mean to Palm her off on someone else because you don't want her anymore.

[05Jueey]

I believe that would be perfectly fine. You and her seem to feel secure in your relationship enough for it. Everyone flirts and has the desire to do it. You clearly know she wants to be with you so I think it's perfectly fine. Just talk to each other about any specific boundaries you may have

[BrunetteNYC]

I think you need a new wife... what do you look like? He he he ;)

[icantwait]

Message me I have some info to help you, will not post public

[icantwait]

Also I don't judge, I'm a science major and study human sexuality.

[HotwifeLover]

If your relationship is strong, and you both love each other and trust each other then I think it would be great fun. I encourage my wife to dress sexy and flirt when we go out. I find it a HUGE turn on and it only enhances our sexuality.

[loveyou-babygirl]

Show her how much you really love her take her to a nice dinner or buy her flowers or a nice jewelry