Is it possible to be "too available" for your boyfriend? Guys I need your opinions?

[Anonymous]

So sometimes I feel like am too available for my boyfriend because I never say no to him! My mom said that being too available is bad because a guy gets tired of that! For example I could be on myway to the mall and he calls and asks "what are you doing" and I'll tell him "on my way to the mall" he could say "oh never mind I was going to see if you want to go to the park for a run" and I'll say " yea sure be there in 15" but thats always and different every time!!! And now I am getting worried he might get tired of me being to available! So guys what do you think? If your girlfriend was ALWAYS available would you get annoyed? Or bored? And lose interest after a while? Should I just say "oh sorry I can't go here" or "I can't do that today" even if I have NOTHING else to be doing? Girls also has this ever happened? WHere your too availabe? Or do you girls just say No sometimes so you won't be too available?

[TwoFeetStanding]

It is indeed possible. I read a book called, "Why Men Love Bitches" that saved my relationship. One of the first things she points out is that if you are too available, then he won't appreciate you.

I was always the one who would show up on time, rush to answer his calls, feed him gourmet foods, and would go to extents to be ultra sexy for him but he'd always find someone else and I could not understand what I was doing wrong.

It turns out, men don't want the woman who's so available. They want the girl they have to chase a little bit to get her... the one who is interesting and who is showing a little bit of coyness. The one who they have to work to get is worth it in the end.

[Asker]

Okay this is what I was looking for because that's totally me! I don't ever miss a call from him I always reply to his msgs as quick as possible! thank you! I will have to ready this book and something's will be changing!

[xxItsChristina]

If you're already doing something, say no. That's when you need to. It keeps him guessing, and you're using a trick called submissive flirting. It's like ending a text conversation first: it leaves him wanting more. As for him asking you places when you're not doing anything, say no of you're not in such a great mood. If you're generally always happy or decent, try to think of something interesting to talk about when you go with him. If you can't think of anything, turn him down.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

It's true. Being too available is a sign that you don't have much of a life and don't have many hobbies that u enjoy. If a guy knows all he has to do is call and you'll come running over time he won't respect your time or you and take u for granted. If you never have anything going on except for your boyfriend then u might want to find things to do besides him

[Asker]

Okay but see I really don't have much of a life a mostly work with my two jobs and only have a few friends who's either have two jobs or one job and school so a rarely see them! So do I just pretend to have a life?

[pr3ttybr0wn]

You may not have much of a life at this present moment but that doesn't mean u can't develop one. You can always improve ur life. Besides even if u aren't doing something ur always doing SOMETHING. I've told guys I was busy when all I was doing was smoking weed and deep conditioning my hair lol. May not be a date but it is doing something. Besides they have to know u not gonna drop what u doing and come running as soon as he called You aren't here for someone else's convienience.

[Asker]

Very true! Thank you!

[Hubsy95]

He's use to you always dropping what your doing and hanging out with him, so if you where to make your self less available start slowly because if you just blow him off there is the risk that he will take it the wrong way and think you don't like/love him anymore. I would suggest not blowing him off just for the sake of it but instead taking sometime to your self with friends when you want but make sure he knows that you haven't just lost interest in him. This way your not being to available and to unavailable.

[Asker]

This makes sense! I was actually just thinking of becoming not available but I'll start slow!

[Prof_Don]

For me, my girlfriend being "too available" sounds like some impossible feat for me, as much as I like affectionate attention.

But maybe I'm just an oddball. Most people can be turned off (in various degrees and thresholds) by their partner being too available.

[shadowlegend]

Guys want a woman to have her own interests, hobbies and agenda, and it's not about being "available", it's about the guy knowing that the woman has a life and that she isn't just sitting around waiting for him to entertain her.

[thelionting]

he's your bf its fine :)

me and my ex has a lovely conversation about this once after sex
she said to me 'do you find it bad that im always avaliable to please'
we just discussed like lust for someone and when your in a relationship its totally cool to be avaliable.. just i reckon if he can turn you on in a special way that makes you desire him sexually thats something he should do constantly to keep your 'too avaliable mind set' soothed

[thelionting]

soothed*

[Skielah]

I agree with your mum and @pr3ttybr0wn and the other girls here. Always keep your own interests and have a life other than with your bf.

[BertMacklinFBI]

this is possible but if he really likes you then you never have to worry about being too available.