I've been married for almost 10 years and let me tell you - my husband is not Prince Charming 24/7. I'm not Nympho Nancy either.
There are times when I can't stand to have my husband touch me - either he's been a jerk or he's been insensitive, whatever. And there are times when I rip his clothes off three times a day - because he can be just that hot to me.
In my relationship - things are never constant. There are dry spells, and spells when everything is completely saturated with love, attention, and sex. It the natural ebb and flow of a marriage.
If a man is complaining about his sex life, then he needs to communicate that to his wife as well as reflecting on his own behavior to try and understand why his wife is no longer attracted to him. Most of the time problems don't just stem from one person - a relationship IS a partnership. There are always two sides to the story.
Im not married...ive never been in this sitution but I imagine its because obviously things are new and exciting in the beginning...time passes,you get married,and the woman is no longer "herself" as such.she is "wifey" and "mother" and "cleaner" and "cook" and I think being so busy and stressed could make her feel less like a sexual woman at times,she is so busy being these other things she might just not be in the mood anymore.
Women multitask, hate to be steriotypical and not saying men don't but I can see how it might feel being married with kids and runing a household that she is being pulled in all directions and sometimes...just won't be in the mood?
Plus after all this time you get used to eachother,the romance might go,it might become hum-drum.
Imho women need to feel sexy to want to have sex,and maybe that sometimes goes on the blink.
Im not sure.
Sex almost always decreases in long term relationships from where it started. In the beginning everything is "new" and "exciting" so you typically can't keep your hands off each other. Then as you settle into more of a routine it usually happens less. So there's that factor. Also, consider the average family. Although a lot has changed, women still typically run the household and look after the house/kids/etc. Throw a job into the mix and that can add a lot of stress and exhaustion, which detracts from the sex drive.
I've never been either a woman or married, but I think it comes down to this: a pair of people with a passionate spark between them will under no circumstances marry or even move in together. It's just not how it's done.
I suppose this isn't actually a passionate spark then -- more of an imperishable flame.
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Men are still learning that sex isn't everything - it's an easy lesson they keep putting off for no good reason, when you get married you should want to slow down on sex to maybe 1 or twice every 2weks I feel...
I'm asked a couple of my older friends this and the number one answer was... stress and kids.
Women who use sex as a bargaining tool -- or weapon -- IMNSHO are the dregs of the earth.
Ted
our sex life has improved over the years
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