Girlfriend rejected promise ring idea?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend and I have technically been with each other for 3 years going on 4 on November 3rd. Well we aren't the BEST couple you could say. Although we always talked about the future. I kept asking her if she wants to marry me etc. she responded with yes she does. Well I thought about wanting to get her a promise ring on her birthday, which is October 26th. So I asked her questions that gave her hints. She then told me "Are you trying to buy me a ring?" and I was honest with her and told her yea, I'm planning to give you a promise ring because I mean I love you so much.

Though, she rejected my proposal and thought about it and just gave me an explanation that she doesn't want a ring because she isn't a jewelery person, she loses them etc. Though I feel as though she rejected the proposal because i'm a secret in her life and nobody knows we are together, only her sister. Well I am kind of feeling sad of the rejection, and the thought that maybe she wasn't all that serious about me. I kind of told her off from pain and anger.

[springocelot]

i don't like the idea of promise rings

but in your case, it's a matter of why she rejected it
either, that's not a way she likes love expressed to her;
or she's embarrassed that her family will see it and the secret will come out

[Asker]

yea I kind of figured... read my last response from singlebee.

[9mfeo]

In my opinion, promise rings are stupid and make relationships end.

[MarkyyG123]

Stupid, sure, I can understand that, but how do they make them end?

[Asker]

how are promise rings stupid? it’s like saying engagement is stupid, as a result, marriage is stupid.
Well I can’t really oppose you because today’s society aren’t really up for all that marriage thing.

[9mfeo]

@MarkyyG123 it puts too much pressure on young, naïve idiots who think they have what it takes to make a relationship work.

Asker, promise rings are stupid because it's a fake engagement ring. Just get engaged. Don't be awkward about it.

[Asker]

it’s nothing fake, it’s the course too a weeding ring. People misuse the concept of weeding ring. But its just a step prior to engagement.

[9mfeo]

Promise rings aren't common outside of the high school circle.

[singlebee]

Well I don't know... Why is your relationship a secret? It sounds like a red flag to me... If she keeps everything a secret!!!
So why?

[Asker]

well for starters she lives under her parents roof, her parents are strict-oriented. Dad tells her daughters that she doesn’t want to see a guy with them or introduced to him until they graduate college and have stable jobs. Etc. She is afraid of introducing me because they she is going against her father and parents will, and is afraid that she might get kicked out. I understood her perspective and respected her wishes.

However, she tells me that her friends know about me because she claims our relationship and that she is taken.

[Asker]

Also, even though her mother goes by that, she knows about our relationship. She doesn’t tell her anything. But her brothers and fathers don’t know about me

[singlebee]

OK then I understand why is all a secret... And that's the reason why she doesn't wanna put q ring on her finger cause her father might notice it...

Don't worry this girl loves you... Just wait for the right time :-)

[Asker]

yea, but she didn’t tell me the main reason. She just said that she’s not really good with jewelry because she ends up losing it. For her 15, she was gifted 2 rings that were worth a lot I guess... and she ended up losing them. So she told me that reason that she isn’t good with jewelry. So I asked her, then how are you going to do when I give you a wedding ring? She said, well i’m going to keep it safe, and wear it on special occasions.

[PiuBelloAmante]

Leave her </3
its sad, she is ashamed of you :(
find a girl who will love you!

[Asker]

i kind of told her off in that sense that I didn’t want to play games and want something serious.

[PiuBelloAmante]

She doesn't seem to take you very seriously, and i don't think she will...

[Asker]

yea i know, although, she always comes back to me every time I send her to hell (metaphor)... I guess she’s just in it for attention and just to use me for her benefits.

[PiuBelloAmante]

Next time she comes back to you, tell her these words

"You were ashamed of my love, but it is I who is ashamed of you. begone, i dont want you anymore"

</3

[Asker]

Lmfao that’s too harsh

[PiuBelloAmante]

whats harsh, is keeping your boyfriend a secret...

[Ulyss]

Dude turn yourself in and tell them where you buried her