boyfriend didn't drive me home?

[Anonymous]

I traveled to see him via bus, I spent the night at his place. He has work at 6:30am so we woke up SUPER early. He has a car. Instead of taking you home which would be twenty min he drops you off the bus terminal which is one his way to work.

I know its a small thing, I'm not going to pick a fight. I know that if I can't afford a car I have to rely on the bus until I'm finished school but my step mom keeps telling me that its concerning that my boyfriend doesn't make the effort.

Would this upset anyone or should I not pay attention to my step mom?

[niahc]

Having been on the other side of a relationship like this, where I was the only one that drove, I have to say it is very annoying to drive car-less people around constantly. Especially early in the morning when he is on the way to work.

I would give him some slack, and try to enjoy the bus a bit more. Independence is good for you and good for your relationship. Next time, if you want him to drive, ask him the night before, so he knows you want it and can arrange for the extra time it would take before work.

[Asker]

I'm not asking for him to always do it. I've never felt entitled to a ride home from anyone. I know my situation is my own but I spend two hours on the bus to see him and he's never done it before. The effort wouldn't hurt. Even if he doesn't, acknowledging that I take the time to do that would be nice.

[niahc]

It sounds like this is a lot more than just not driving you home - you feel like he isn't putting enough effort in. It is really important that you have a proper discussion with him and work out something that feels fair to you. If it makes you upset, it is very important that you bring it up. If he cares about you he will be willing to find an arrangement that makes you happy, but if he doesn't know he might not realize what he is doing wrong.

[teawrecks]

You wake up super early but it still takes time to get ready.

What time is it when you leave the house?
It takes 20 min to drive you home so it would probably take about 20 min to drive back, a bit more to make it to his job.

That's 40+ minutes.

[Taywallee16]

It'd be concerning if he did it even when he didn't have to go to work but I wouldn't worry about it.

[Omgjosh]

My work is no more than 10 minutes away. That's 40 minutes extra I would spend driving before I get to work. He should have woke up a little earlier to be able to take you. I start work at 3am and wouldn't want to drive almost a whole hour when it could take me 10 minutes.

[Asker]

He had failed to tell me that he was working that early. It's a part time job. I wouldn't have wanted to come if I knew we had to wake up that early. I spend an hour traveling to his place via bus and an hour back because I want to see him. I understand 40 min is a lot of time driving but I'm always making the trip, it wouldn't hurt if he did it every once and awhile.

[Omgjosh]

Now it sounds like he wants to see you but doesn't want to make the effort. It's a lot more difficult for you to see him if you use the bus, so if he has plans the next day, he needs to tell you that day before you head over to his place. That's really messed up what he's doing. Sounds like a really immature guy because he can't communicate,.

[madhatters4]

so your home would've have been on his way to work?

i personally feel like I would i offer to drive my partner home. even if it meant waking up a little earlier.

[Asker]

No its not on his way to work...

[madhatters4]

well early in the morning and with rush hour traffic it could really be an inconvenience. if this is a routine thing that even when he doesn't have work or something he doesn't drive you home then maybe you could wonder but if this is an isolated incident i'd just try to move on from it

[Asker]

It's not rush hour traffic, not where we live. There's barely anyone on the street where we live at that time. It's too early to say if its an isolated incident. He only just got his car. But so far he has yet to pick me up or drop me off. Thanks for providing your pov, its helped.

[madhatters4]

have you asked him specifically for a ride at all?

[Asker]

No, never. I'd feel bad about making that request. It's like that with my friends who drive as well. I'll only take a ride if they offer.

[madhatters4]

yeah but he's a boyfriend and you make the effort of riding the bus so you shouldn't feel bad... and he should offer

[Anonymous]

I'm in the same situation, but I LIVE with my boyfriend. I work 3 different jobs and he refuses to take me or pick me up from either jobs. I asked him to take me grocery shopping and he raised hell about it. He has said plenty of times that I'm a grown woman and I can figure it out on my own. He's home rn in the living room getting drunk watching tv, but I have to uber to the store to get supplies for our kittens. It's frustrating that he feels like he doesn't have to help me. I'm losing money having to uber to and from everywhere.

[Anonymous]

I thought it was kinda a given you'd get dropped home. Like that's the normal thing to do. In fact, some guys will even walk you home if they don't have a car on normal days, and maybe just drop you to the station on the way to work if he can't drive.

[selmo93]

He has work, I'm sorry but he can't be your taxi... your mums going to say that as she's going to be biased in your favour

[Hidden_P]

To be honest if I had work that early I would either not have you round or said you could stay at my house until I got home and could take you.

Why don't you stay at his?

[lyannamormont]

If it is on his way home, and he is not offering you a ride, either he was half sleepy and so thoughtless, or if he was not sleepy or tired, he was just thoughtless and not making the effort.

[Blonde401]

I would ask him, he might just be really idiotic and not have realised. Otherwise he's a dick, my sugar daddy always drops me off so Idu why your boyfriend can't.

[OffensiveGnome]

If your home is on his way to work then it would have been nice to drive you home at least, however, if there is a chance that he might be "late" then you shouldn't get to worked up about it.

[akadatank44]

he's no taxi and then he'd have to even leave earlier. He probably didn't even think of it. he's probably like we'll I got to get to work and so I'll drop her off at the buss terminal thats on my way to work.

[WhereAmI]

Did you ask if he can drop you off at home? Some guys are clueless and think if you were okay taking the bus in, then your okay taking it home.

[Smmyskittles]

No, men are mind readers. They should know what we want.

:'D - Troll

[Asker]

No. What happened was he asked what time the buses started running in the morning. I said 5AM on weekdays. He replied with "oh ok, cause it would take me 40 min to drive you. " So it felt awkward of me to ask him to do that when it def. sounded like he didn't want to...

[WhereAmI]

@Smmyskittles Why is it that most women think that anyway? I've met plenty of guys who are completely clueless when it comes to common courtesy.

[Smmyskittles]

Asker - You NEED to ask

@WhereAmI - They're young (see her age). Whereas, I'd sweet talk him into it. "
Me: "Baby, drive me to work, please?".
Him "That's 40 minutes".
Me, " Just wanted to give you some road head.". -- Man's eyes widen and he agrees --

& Problem solved. XD

[Smmyskittles]

^ That was a joke, b. t. w.

Honestly, I'd just ask him to take me. Maybe even offer to help pay for his gas.

[WhereAmI]

Oh, well unless he wouldn't be able to get to work on time, that's him just being a jerk.

[WhereAmI]

@Smmyskittles Lmao - you really know how to give a guy incentive. ;)

[Smmyskittles]

Are you insinuating that I know what men want and can use that to get what *I* want?

😏😏 So offended rn!

[WhereAmI]

@Smmyskittles Don't most women? XD

We are simple creatures!

[Smmyskittles]

let's find out? ;)

[[ Still joking! You're new, so I'll let you know until you catch on to my humor lol ]]

[QuestionMan]

Well he was going to work so unless you wanted to wake him up earlier to have him drive you home and make it to work in time you'll have to settle on taking the bus.

[Frenchtoast2020]

Now that's a man I wouldn't mind sharing a glass of milk with.

[Maazin]

Work is important too.
Ignore your stepmom comments

[jamesdegod]

i dont do lifts anymore, waste of time and unless your paying u can fuck off, stop complaining and get a car

[jamesdegod]

lol.

[Anonymous]

You women feel so entitled to free rides , when you offer so little. Get your bratty ass in the bus or get a car. Why should he waste his time and gas on you? Especially when he has work.

[Anonymous]

He's not your taxi and that would add 40 mins worth of time to get to work.

[Asker]

I know he's not my taxi. Keep in mind that I bus 1 hour there and 1 hour back to see him.

[MrAssHat]

what a dick..

[Katy16]

Well if he had to go to work I understand

[ShaeNielson]

That's kind of shitty of him..

[polite-girl]

Did you ask if he can drop you off at home?