Boyfriend doesn't feel the need to talk to me everyday?

[Anonymous]

Been together for 2 years, he's always been a bad texter, not much into small talk either. We used to text a bit everyday but that declined ever since he started working 2 months ago. Now when we meet during the week it's great but he RARELY texts anymore. Days pass and nothing. I ask him why he doesn't and he says he doesn't text anyone! I've talked to him twice and even though he says he will he never does. He rarely comes online. Is it normal to go without talking for days? He's so chill about it.

[Tanuron]

Depends on the person a lot. Im not much for small talk either. I text less an less too, in my own case its I just gotten so tired of it. Like I always try to be just nice and helpful really, but dear lord how much drama has come from just texting with people. Or well, how much drama that has been thrown my way anyway, unfairly and pointlessly so too. Basically, my life is more peaceful and better, the less I text. It has just lost all its appeal, so I end up not answering people more and more. While in my case still, I prefer and want to talk to my grilfriend everyday, but tend to just do it verbally, over skype/phone when away. Still kinda write each other on their, but yeah phone wise again. I almost never text anyone anymore.

So yeah I wouldn't be suprised if that can be somewhat the case, that he's just drained and exhausted of that medium sort of. Could always try that instead though maybe, just talk on the phone more? Some people are pretty chill like that, fine with not talking for days, but yeah people are different. I prefer to not go days really, but naturally can happen now and then. Can just tell him either way, that you just miss him and wish could talk more.

[Asker]

I have told him, twice.
He always agrees, but never does

[Tanuron]

What does he say though? he just agree and nothing else? (Like dosent give any explanation for example?) The dude sounds burned out really.

[Asker]

He says "I dont text anyone these days on my own"
So I said "you can at least text once right?"
He says "Okay"
But nothing
If i text him, he will reply normally

[Tanuron]

Hmm I see, have you asked him if it bothers him though? that you text? I know for example I can be kinda reserved no doubt, Im more of a replier sort of, like everyone else pretty much write me first and im usally always at the replying end. I need or want so little from people in general, in every shape or form. Anyway, point is. Dosent bug me anyway, to get messages, but I might have a hard time sending stuff first, for so many reasons really. But in my case again too, I recharge by being alone sort of. Maybe your guy need more alone time or space than he is getting.

[Asker]

Maybe
I text him, he replies. Also we went through a rough patch 2 weeks ago. He broke up with me (I had screwed up big time) but he gave me last chance. He has become less distant but he did say that he'd be normal after a long long time. He's normal when we meet but the time apart he rarely texts
Just don't know if it means he's not into texting ir that he doesn't miss me or think about me

[Tanuron]

Ah I see, well just give it time in that case. If yeah had a rough patch like that on top of it, probably take some time to fall back together sort of. Probably need time to deal in whatever way or pace that works for him if yeah you screwed up big. As long as just simply communicate anyway, I think you can work through most obstacles, may not be easy and rough, but patience and understanding goes a long way, even if that alone can suck too sometimes. He can easily still think of you a lot though I know, I know I do about my girlfriend, all the time. Even if we dont talk. And sorry, I got a horrible headache, so am off to bed. Best of luck with everything though and hope you have a good day/night :)

[Asker]

Thank you for taking the time out to answer, means a lot. :)

[Asker]

Also, take care of yourself since you have a headache

[Tanuron]

You welcome of course :) and Thank you, kind of you :)

[reptocarl]

I don't like the words normal and abnormal. I've replaced them with majority and minority. Abnormal implies there's something bad or wrong while if in the minority doesn't mean a person is bad or wrong. For me if I'm in a relationship I make it a point to communicate at least once everyday even if it's just 15 minutes. I think it's a sign of respect. I don't text I call. I'd much rather hear her voice and emotion which is something you don't get with texting. I also think texting is enabling people to use the piss poor excuse that they don't have time when calling someone is so much faster and easier and you can do it while doing other things. Unfortunately I think in this day and age of pussies hiding behind their phones, tablets or whatever people like me are increasingly becoming in the minority. The thing is it's not going to change so you have a decision

[lostgirl_searching]

To me it's normal, but maybe work is stressing him out? When my boyfriend is depressed or stressed out he won't talk to anyone and I accept that because he does tell after a day or two. As long you don't see any changes when you guys meet, everything will be okay.

[Asker]

Yea there aren't any changes when we meet but it's been two days now, no texts. I'm tired of texting first these days. He was online a while ago and it pissed me off that he's been online for an hour nit talking to me. To him it's completely normal not talking everyday

[lostgirl_searching]

Mines did the same yesterday and I was worried only because I thought something was wrong after that my worries went away and I still love him regardless. If he doesn't text you just let him know you love him and don't text him anymore. That's what I do. Some people are just like that

[Asker]

You're so mature, God!
So you just let it go?
No anxiety? You're just sure your relationship is strong otherwise?

[lostgirl_searching]

Honestly it was like I knew what I was getting myself into and I was willing to accept it. Only because he told me that he tends to push people away even the ones he loves. I still get stressed out because I'm the type that worries. Seeing him post things on Facebook for some reason I felt better. As long I know he reads my text and it's always a positive one with a I love you at the end.
Just to make sure he knows I will always love him no matter what.
I'm not 100% positive about how strong our relationship is but I know we can always talk about it.
Try not to let it get to you, as long you don't see any changes when you meet everything will be okay... actually I even saw on Facebook someone posted how some people can love someone but just doesn't really show it and texting and calling was on the list.

[Asker]

Your answer has helped so much
Thank you :)

[lostgirl_searching]

I'm very glad that I can help
you are so welcome 😊

[Melissa4]

He might have lost a little bit of interest from you it seems. I suggest to give him some space. Silence is golden. Let him take his time. Be patient and no worries. Good luck.

[Asker]

Well we did break up 2 weeks ago, MAJOR ISSUES and a lot of it was my mistake. He gave me a last chance but said he won't be the same for a very long time. I've been working on myself which is why he's normal and less distant now but no texts or calls from his side until absolutely necessary. Its good when we meet though

[Melissa4]

Just give him some space and he will come back to you. Try not to be clingy. Good luck.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

It really doesn't seem like he is that interested in you. at all.

[ThisDudeHere]

I do think it is normal. It does not mean he's not interested in you - he's quite simply a reserved guy who prefers to talk only when really needed instead of wasting time on small talk.
When I had a girl to talk to, I was delighted, of course, but the "we have to text EVERY day" was what began exhausting me. Some times I just wanted a day to myself.

[Asker]

I do understand a day but it's been two days, I'm tired of texting first. I ask him to text first, he says yes but never does! Its amazing when we meet but it's hurtful that even though he was online for an hour a while ago he didn't text me

[ThisDudeHere]

Because he probably thinks that if he's gonna text you first, you're gonna drag out the conversation and thus he will lose free time of his day. So if you do text him next time, somehow make it clear that it won't be happening.

[Asker]

I do that, I don't drag a conversation
It's always brief
All I want is he'd send a text asking how I was and all or just a good morning
I wish I could be chilled out like you

[ThisDudeHere]

Just approach the issue with an open mind - don't nag (or at least try not to)

[Asker]

Should I ask him to do that again?

[ThisDudeHere]

By all means.

[Asker]

What if he doesn't text even after saying he will, again? He's done that twice now

[ThisDudeHere]

Then it is up to you if you are willing to tolerate it. I mean, I personally wouldn't want to text literally every day all day - but I'd still do it in the mornings and evenings at least.

[Asker]

Exactly my point
What do you suggest, should I wait till I meet him or talk about this on the phone?

[ThisDudeHere]

Talking things out in person is always the better option.

[Asker]

Alright I'll wait till we meet again
Thank you wo much

[ThisDudeHere]

Good luck.

[tyber1]

Texting someone every day would be exhausting. I am fine with seeing someone every day but I wouldn't want to text someone every day. I didn't even do that when I was in a long distance relationship for a year.

[Asker]

So it's normal that its been 3 days since we saw each other and there has been no contact since.
Also we see each other once a week

[tyber1]

That would be normal for some people. I'd be fine with that.

[Asker]

doesn't mean he's not interested right?

[tyber1]

Not necessarily but maybe

[Asker]

Oh no :(

[tyber1]

Give him the benefit of the doubt

[Asker]

What does that mean?

[tyber1]

Google it

[Issie]

If this keeps draining you, you have no other choice but to break up with him in order to protect your peace.
I've been in this relationship dynamic and one thing I can tell you is; it was exhausting and I was so sad.
When I brought it up to him that we should probably talk a bit more he said I was stressing him out! well then go fuck yourself.
It kept on going like this for 6 months but then I couldn't take it anymore so I ended it

[JEric19]

I'm actually the same exact way... but I don't feel it's normal really

[Asker]

Is he losing interest?

[JEric19]

Well was this a recent change or has he always been this way?

[Asker]

Recent change, especially since he started working 2 months back
Also we went through a rough patch 2 weeks ago. He broke up with me (I had screwed up big time) but he gave me last chance. He has become less distant but he did say that he'd be normal after a long long time. He's normal when we meet but the time apart he rarely texts
Just don't know if it means he's not into texting or that he doesn't miss me or think about me

[JEric19]

Sounds like he's still hurt and you guys are still in a rough patch and things to work out and get over keep pursuing him love him I'm sure he still olives you

[Asker]

I've already asked him to text twice
But I am scared to approach the topic again
I don't wanna nag?
How can I approach this and make him understand?

[JEric19]

Hmm yea you don't want to nag him. If you guys have pretty talked about the situation and hashed it out right? Then he might just need a little time and space... and just try to make the most of when you guys do see each or talk

[Asker]

Alright
I'll approach this when I see him

[JEric19]

Another possiblitie is maybe he just feels busy, tired and overwhelmed with the job too. Sounds like your really worried too I'm sorry...

[Asker]

I am, I don't want to lose him
It's just hurtful to see him like this

[JEric19]

Yea I can tell... can I ask what your mistake was?

[Asker]

Lot of them spread out over a year, he'd given me chances but I remained selfish and ditzy. The hurt piled up and he blew up

[JEric19]

Yea there's a lot of negative effects that will hurt our relationships when were selfish but nothing that can't be fixing tho

[Asker]

I just hope he still loves me
All this is breaking my heart because I finally realised my mistake
But very very late

[JEric19]

Aww I really do hope it worksout for you!

[Asker]

Thank you !

[JEric19]

Since youve been in relationship in awhile can I ask you something as well?

[Asker]

Yea shoot

[JEric19]

So this is my current situation... earlier on in my relationship I unfortunately cheated on my girlfriend so its been awhile now and i have changed and really tried to improve our relationship but its still a big issue with her she doeant trust me and accuses me and thinks I'm always flirting with other girls? So what could I do to try to help her with this?

[Asker]

You've lost trust
And believe ne, irs HARD to establish it again
Either talk to her about it calmly or show her you're trustworthy through your actions
Tell her that its important she trusts you or the relationship will never work

[JEric19]

Yea and I understand that but it's been awhile now and I'm just starting to think it's just always gonna be that way

[Asker]

Maybe
How long has it been?

[JEric19]

About 5-6 months

[Asker]

I've seen cases where the trust never cones back
Also there's no real way to show gee won't cheat because she can't always keep an eye on you
Whatever it is , just make sure you treat her nicely
And discourage her snide remarks about tou cheating
Tell her it's difficult to gain her trust when she's closed up

[rleaf18]

Yah some people are just like that, i like to have time to myself and im not into trxting or small talk either, thats just how he is.