I can't stand the way my girlfriend dresses, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

To cut to the chase she doesn't wear extremely revealing clothes. Most of the time she wears very tight and pretty short shorts and small crop tops. Other times she wears tshirts with more than enough cleavage. Her shorts are tight to the point you can see her underwear extremely clearly and short to the point when she walks you can almost see her ass. Her cleavage doesn't leave much to the imagination. So I know that all these are not extremely revealing but I don't know.. Sometimes it's too much for me. I get very stressed out and immensely sad whenever she goes out without me. I just can't shake off the thought of guys looking at her and sexualizing her and having thoughts about her. It's not that I don't trust her because I trust her completely. It's just I hate this thought to the point of whenever I think of it I just get brought down. Makes me wanna cry and it's affecting me and our relationship. What should I do?

TL;DR:Girlfriend dresses kind of provocatively. Can't come to peace with the thought of others staring at her and is affecting me and the relationship.

[Darkfairie17]

Why does it bother you so much if other guys are into your girl? You are into her, so why is it a surprise to you that other guys might be as well?

What she wears has no bearing on that. She could wear a maxi dress and a sweater over top and still get hit on by guys or get checked out.

You need to work on your insecurities and why it bothers you if other guys might like how your girlfriend looks.

She's with you, and that's all that matters. Be confident that she loves you and wants to be with you.

[Asker]

But it wouldn't be as often. Seeing guys check her out all the time completely ruins my mood.

[Darkfairie17]

Then you need to work on that. No disrespect, but you shouldn't get put into a bad mood because some guy checked out your girlfriend. That is not her issue, she can't help what other guys find attractive. Like I said, she could be completely covered and still get lots of attention.

She is not the problem. The reaction you are getting to that attention is the problem. It's concerning to me and it should concern you why it is so bothersome. You say you trust your girlfriend but then it puts you in a bad mood when it happens. That to me sounds like there is a deeper issue that must be addressed.

[Asker]

This is probably right but since I've been trying to fight this issue for ages and just won't go away am I wrong for asking her to dress a bit more modestly?

[Darkfairie17]

There's nothing wrong with asking. But if she's made it clear she has no intention to change, you really can't force her to change how she dresses.

[imbored2252]

there is a huge difference between wearing a sweeter over top and a maxi dress and what he described. like he said, you can basically see her underwear from her shorts which is just an extreme. Im not knocking you if you dress like that, but to be in a relationship and doing that is kind of like asker going out in booty shorts and a crop top.

[imbored2252]

asker, your feelings are completely rational.

[imbored2252]

and if it is really just asker, then ask the majority of guys who they would bring over to their moms house. I like a women who has some decency. we have clothes for a reason.

[Nafiulrifat]

I strongly disagree with the notion that he is insecure. His feelings are completely valid. He is NOT insecure to think thisway. Any self respecting man with proper boundaries would think that way.
I agree that one should never try to change their partner as it’s just not doable. The main problem is the guy getting into serious long term relationship with her in the first place. Why is she constantly dressing in such a way that she knows will garner sexual attention from other guys despite being in relationship? I hope she isn’t gaslighting him into believing she wears ‘em cuz she feels comfortable in that!! smh!

[Poppykate]

I get that. But here is the thing. Men are going to look, no matter what she wears. If I am going out for the night I will usually wear a vintage dress (50s/ 60s) like my profile pic. It will be modest. Below the knee, cover most the cleavage etc. But I will get men that will stop and stare, give me a wink and a once over. Men will do that to any girl. No matter what she wears.

[Bunnysweetheart]

A lot of girls do this to their boyfriends to turn them on, haha. Maybe she's trying to get your attention, maybe she's trying to make you territorial so you go a little rougher on her. And maybe she's trying to be shown off by you. It's not necessarily about the guys looking at her, a lot of times it's about you looking at her.

[Asker]

Wish it was just for me but she dresses like this everywhere she goes.

[notallthere98]

Guys who are attracted to women will stare at and sexualize then no matter what they wear unfortunately. Honestly you being upset about what she wears is your problem to work on, not hers. Definitely do not ask her to dress more modestly. That is verging into controlling behaviour

[prince1102]

I usually ask girls why they wear such clothes? Usually it's because it makes them feel sexy, beautiful, desired, pretty, etc. which is good for their self esteem as a girls self esteem comes greatly from their attractiveness, physical beauty.

[BrittBratt2416]

Women should dress modestly, no that doesn't mean she has to be covered head to toe but leave some to the imagination. Honestly the way some women dress makes me wonder why didn't leave the house naked lol. Honestly there's nothing you can do to stop men from noticing your girlfriend, their will be men who find her attractive. As long as she doesn't go along with it, then there's nothing to worry about. Hopefully she's not dressing SUPER provocatively to gain attention from others.

[BrittBratt2416]

I think a woman can dress modestly but still be sexy at the same time without showing a lot of skin
www.alreadypretty.com/.../...ittle_black_dress.jpg

[BrittBratt2416]

Gives a picture to show how dresses exactly

[tzdc21]

Just tell her how it makes you feel. Tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable when she dresses like that. And then see how she reacts. If she really likes you and cares about your feelings then she will be more considerate when she dresses. If not, then that is a sign for you to get away from her.

[wankiam]

you won't like this but i think you need to address your insecurities more than telling her how to dress... if you can't then be fair to her and finish it

[soe11]

Do you know relationship is based on trust and treat respect to one another, loyal to each other, without
dictating one another.
Who is attractive and sexy ofcourse she will wear revealing outfits to please you, you can't stop her, it is her basic human rights to be exercised.
You should be be proud of your is attractive and appealing as well sexy, you should support her, compliment her, encourage her, stand with her, and appreciate her.

[Jinnie87]

It's either that she thinks thats the only way to compliment her figure, or because she wants to get some other guys to like her because you two might not work out. Or she wants u to be jealous. Girls like it when their bfs are jealous.

[xMiaxBuerx]

She might like the attention or she has self esteem issues that she tries overcompensate. Maybe she's trying to make you proud of her sexiness... dunno

[linds34]

I don't think there's much you can do. It's summer, and that's what most girls wear in the summer. It's probably not going to go over well if you try to tell her what to wear.

[Duckslayer]

Talk to her about it. It's well within your rights to feel this way, and to demand that something be done about it. If she's understanding and loving, she'll dress more modestly. If she isn't, you have no choice but to offer an ultimatum: either she dresses modestly or it's over.

[AlexisNeedsHelp]

Literally just tell her. What everybody else is seeing is only for your eyes. If she can't accept your opinion and understand where you're coming from, is that really the girl for you? Plus it should be public decency to dress approriate for the eyes of people who don't have the title you do. Just tell her! Bring it up as if it's a serious topic and just explain. I'm sure she will understand.

[KadBitty]

You didn't know how she dressed before you decided to get into a relationship with her?

[Anonymous]

There's nothing wrong with letting her know that You're not a fan of her dressing that way.. if anything i would actually love it if my boyfriend gave me his opinion on if me exposing myself in such way brothers him. It shows you care especially if you tell her exactly how you just did. Don't sound demanding though or like you're trying to control her just simply let her know how you feel about it.

[Asker]

I gave her my opinion but still nothing has changed.

[Opinion Owner]

Well then tell her again and this time make it serious

[Asker]

I did make it serious. She told me she won't cross the line but won't make it better.

[Anonymous]

Have you told her that you don't like that she wears them type of clothes. She may cover up more if you explain how it makes you feel and you let her know that it does bother you.

[Asker]

I told her but no improvement.

[Opinion Owner]

What did she say when you told her? Did she say that she will try or didn't care about how you feel? I guess you could explain to her that it's for her own safety also when I was younger I used to dress in things to short and tight but after having a few people making me feel really uncomfortable I realised it's best not to dress that way especially when walking alone. Assuming your girlfriend is around 18 19 I think she will eventually stop dressing that way it just depends if you can if you can wait and work on the reason behind why it makes you feel this way. Have you ever been cheated on?

[Asker]

She just said she won't change her style. So I guess I either put up with it or break up with her.

[Asker]

And no I haven't been cheated on and that's not why I don't like how she dresses.

[Opinion Owner]

K I just thought that might subconsciously be why you felt that way.
I guess if it's something you don't think you will be able to deal with and she's not willing to change then she might not be the one for you.

[Anonymous]

So what if others stare? Let them, if she's feeling good about herself and you're the only one she fucks there's no reason for you to feel this way.

[imbored2252]

yeah, and then bring her home to your mom when she is dressed like that. good luck!

[Sbelle]

go to the mall & comment some clothes you like. be subtle. don't tell her how to dress. she wants to look good for you & might just do it on her own.

[Unit1]

That is bothersome indeed.
It's probably you and me but I don't understand why girls do this.
Not much you can do, really. You can only accept her or break up with her.

[DumbandDumbber]

Seeking attention from others and enjoying it. Nothing more nothing less

[Anonymous]

You are her beta male slave. Jut let her get railed by Chad and stop pestering her please.

[Whatthefluff]

Buy her different clothes

[Anonymous]

Just tell her?

"Makes me wanna cry"

Wtf what a pussay

[Opinion Owner]

you might as well date guys

[extra03]

Communication is key in everything!

[tropicalchick24]

Tell her how you feel

[laila23]

Maybe you should just break up with her.

[googeee]

leave this girl if you want to be happy

[IHaveLists]

Tell her how you feel about it

[Anonymous]

If you trust her, you have nothing to worry about.

[BreeJM]

talk to her

[imbored2252]

just tell her lol

[CT_CD]

break up with her