Am I in the wrong for letting my boyfriend have his freedom?

Question

Me and my boyfriend became an official couple very recently.

I give him a lot of freedom and space. He goes out whenever he wants, I don't demand him to tell me where he is at all times, and I trust him. If he breaks that trust and cheats on me, I'll be heartbroken but I'll just leave.

My friends and family say I'm too permissive and I'll end up losing him. Is that true? Am I really in the wrong?

DamnAnon · Accepted Answer

You're not doing anything wrong. Giving your boyfriend freedom isn't gonna make him cheat, or not cheat, that depends on who he is as a person. Whether you give him freedom or not, if he's not a cheater, he'll never cheat, but if he is a cheater, even if you give him 0 freedom, he's going to find a way to cheat.

Trusting is difficult, but it's a must in a relationship, if he breaks it, then it's over, but don't instantly assume he's going to do something bad because you're giving him freedom, because that way is how you will lose him

loveout · Accepted Answer

you are the only one with firsthand experience of the situation so only you really know. to your best judgement, you feel it's not a problem. if things go wrong, don't let your friends/family tell you they told you so. you have to have trust which you believe you have. if his freedom bothers you, maybe bring this up to him and talk about it.

kaylaS91 · Accepted Answer

I don't think being permissive will mean that you'll lose him.
That kind of belief basically assumes that all men/women would fuck anyone they could on a daily basis if they weren't held on a tight leash. Which, in most cases, isn't the truth.

Having trust that your partner can continue to have the liberty to do whatever they want yet still remain faithful to you is a great thing to have. Much better than knowing that your partner is faithful because and only because you control their every move.

Dudette2357 · Accepted Answer

Just make sure you're not too distant. Let him know that you care for him, and that you'd be completely heartbroken if he broke your trust. Remind him every day or so that you love him. But your situation is better than being controlling. :)

Cmasterson · Accepted Answer

No, I mean its great you let him have his freedom many people want this in a relationship but also make sure you two have time together a lot.. make sure he knows that you enjoy freedom but don't take it for granted.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You are not wrong. If you keep him chained to you, you don't have a relationship: you have a prisoner.

AdamThomas · Answer

No, a lot of people have this stupid idea that the woman has to tell the man what he can and can't do (but of course if it's the other way around that's sexist). Not being a miserable nagging bitch is a plus. Some people though will take advantage of niceness, just be clear that if he was ever to take you for granted and cheat or whatever that it's over.

spaceshuttle · Answer

So, your friends and family are suggesting to put him in leash... weird things happening in the world yet it doesn't mean every person is same.

I believe you are doing a right thing by letting him have his space. I hope he understands this and never breaks your trust.

RJGraveyTrain · Answer

That's how I've always been. My man has always been allowed to get up, hang out with friends, go out without me, have his privacy - I got with a guy that I trusted fully. He tells me where he's going most of the time without me asking anyway lol.

Margillard · Answer

Why would you want to cage him unless you are using a dicklet cage and you guys are into cuckhold shit. Set your love free and if he returns, he is yours.

Brian-Brain · Answer

No. THat is what a relationship should be. Don't listen to your friends. A guy needs his freedom or he will leave. Too many women make that mistake.

Graydon · Answer

No I don't think so. It's nice to give your boyfriend freedom. I know I'll do whatever I could to let my girl have all the freedom she wants so she dosent feel like an object.

GoodChat · Answer

You are not wrong. Trust is trust. It is a gift. You gave to him. If he breaks it, then he loose you. That is the deal.

Couples who give trust to each other are the most happy ones.

Most of your friends will tell you the opposite, basically because they do not trust themselves or they feel they are not worth enough. Remember, people usually think others will do what they will do. Means, if they will break trust, they will think your guy will cheat on you.

EclipsedNeutron · Answer

You have to do what you're comfortable with in a relationship. If you're okay with your guy having that freedom, then keep on going. Nobody can tell you what you are or aren't okay with in your relationship. However, when something your boyfriend does makes you uncomfortable, you should discuss it with him. Make sure you have open and healthy communication.

One more thing. If you need to constantly keep tabs on someone to keep the relationship alive, then the relationship isn't worth keeping.

Stralberg · Answer

You can't ever control someone from cheating on you. Putting up rules and walls might make you feel better, and maybe it can make it easier to avlid cheating - but in opinion working with trust and communication is way better.

Don't hesitate to tell him how you feel about different situations and have him communicate to you - with the intention of getting to understand each others, not to correct behaviours.

So no, you're not wrong - I like what you're doing.

Anonymous · Answer

Not all men feel suffocated and leave. Obviously he's not complaining nor is he trying to cage you up so feel lucky. I have yet to met a man who isn't trying to lock me in a house 24/7. So have fun. I sure can't and don't worry about him.

Anonymous · Answer

It's okay to give your man freedom but giving him too much space would make him think you would be okay with literally anything and he may cheat. You can trust him but there needs to be a limit to certain things

zombiebabe · Answer

if you let him do whatever he wants and give him all his freedom... don't be surprise if he uses it in a bad way and you get hurt

jacquesvol · Answer

If he's the good man for you, he probably won't cheat on you. Freedom' or not, there's always a way to cheat if someone wants to do it.

the50wattbulb · Answer

You need to work out a balance between freedom and a certain level of attachment. You give him too much freedom than he'll end up thinking you dont care about him.

Cody01 · Answer

Well if he truly likes you he won't leave. If they leave then it's no problem, no more time wasted

Anonymous · Answer

if i man feels suffocated he'll leave you. you do the best thing. if he cheats shit is on him. just find a new one.

dudeinohio · Answer

He needs to have his time apart to live his live. If you smother him, he will become resentful and this will cause problems.

That_Nick · Answer

Sounds like you are doing the right thing.. just make sure u pay attention to him and make sure he feels loved. If he screws up that's on him.

Blitzkrieger · Answer

Your are his partner not his mom. The control freak type shoos men away you know.

Am I in the wrong for letting my boyfriend have his freedom?

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