What to say when you haven’t heard from someone in a few days? Or say nothing?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing a guy for 4 months. Things seemed to be getting more serious. We usually see each other a lot on the weekends and text every day, and this past weekend I only saw him for maybe an hour. He was saying he was busy with school work that he has fallen behind on. Our texting has slowed, and he hasn’t texted me since Sunday. I text him Monday afternoon and he hasn’t replied. I haven’t text him since because I’m not one to keep texting if I don’t get a reply. I am a little worried, but trying not to overthink it. I was thinking of sending him a text, but it feels awkward to do at this point. Would it be weird to send something very casual? I don’t want to send something prying like “how are you doing? Why haven’t I heard from you?” I was thinking about just sending him something light and casual, as if it hasn’t been days since we spoke. Or should I just wait to hear from him?

[Anonymous]

in my opinion, no one would be that busy not having that 5 seconds to reply to a simple and reasonable text. As you said, he got time browsing his facebook etc. If I were you, I would just send him the one last text simply checking in, saying "Hey, we hvnt been talking for days, is everything going okay at least? " . I do say send a text coz obviously it bugs you so you are here asking. Its gonna be your "regret-proof" text to reassure yourself.
No one knows why he is doing that. Eithering cheating, or just lost interest. Or he is overwhelmed by work and school, whatever it is. You are the one who make decision. For me, I would let it go and move on, if the guy Im dating with wouldn't communicate with me in a proper way, it doesn't worth a long term relationship in my opinion.
Good luck ;)

[Chanel1981]

I would say nothing. If someone cares they will reach out or respond

[BigRayFromNC]

First do not jump to conclusions as you stated he is very busy with a lot of things and really does not have the time to spend more time with you as it could be as simple as that however on the other side of the coin where he could be giving you the biggest bullshit story of your entire life and if that is the actual case every time he tells you he is very busy he could possibly out getting loaded and laid, getting his helmet polished all over town from different women and other sexual activities. If you guys have a good communication level between you sit down with him and put your cards on the table how you really feel and see what he says and if he really loves you he will tell you the truth...

[Asker]

Well, I know he’s not with someone else. Not certain if he’s talking to someone else or not. But it’s not hard to check in once in a while.

[BigRayFromNC]

Do you actually know and have the evidence and proof he is not with someone else? Like I had said sit down and have a face to face conversation with him and address the issue and perhaps he will tell you the truth as it is not worth it for one minute to be sitting home worrying all the time about it.

[Asker]

Not exactly, but. It’s a small town and everyone knows we are seeing each other. And he lives just a few miles from my parents house and he’s usually home unless he’s at work or class and no one else is ever at his place. But that’s all I really have.

[BigRayFromNC]

It really does not matter how small your town is and everybody can have their noses up each others asses but it is a known fact that if someone really wants to get laid behind another persons back they will find a way no matter what.

In your particular situation and if you are able to afford it hire a private investigator and have him followed and you will get a full report with photos and then you will have the absolute truth and put all your worrying behind you. i did it once and hired a private investigator and it was worth every penny as I had my doubts she was being loyal to me and when I got the final report with photos I was right as she was going to different dirt and flea bag motels fucking almost ever guy in town.

If you can not afford a private investigator then have one of your close friends who you really trust to follow him and see what he is actually doing.

[Sephohim]

People are different in many ways. Some are very independent and can be in a loyal relationship without hearing from eachother for a week at times. But it really depends on the person. I don't think this is an question which can be properly answered. Though if he doesn't respond when he had the opportunity, he could have lost interest or he could just be the type of person who likes to wait until he's got a good amount of time to properly respond.
I do have my personal opinions on this but I prefer to keep those to my self, it wouldn't be right for me to give a decision making answer

[Asker]

I agree, and I’m ok with not hearing from, but when it’s been 4 months and we’ve contacted each other every day, it throws me off.

[Sephohim]

In my personal opinion, unless he is studying to be a mechanical, electrical or chemical engineer or an architect. He has enough time. Those are the only degrees where time is precious, especially in the last two years of the degree

[Sephohim]

There was a time I barely spoke to my girlfriend when I was in my last year for chemical engineering. I tell ya it was not easy. Every hour of the day is constant work

[Asker]

Yeah, that’s my point too. I know he has time because he’s had time in the past.

[Sephohim]

Keep in mind things with studies pick up at this time of the term. Midterms and projects are coming up usually at this time. But again some degrees are a joke in terms of workload so use your personal judgement.
If you truly think his lack of response is not due to lack of time, you deserve to have ease of mind. Detatch yourself from him, dont think about him. If he gets back to you eventually, and he's open to talk about what he's done during all that" busy time" of his, you'll probably feel better after understanding his situation. If he avoids the topic, something is off. But if you detach yourself you won't care so much about his lying, you will be mentally prepared.

[Unknownguy2]

Or biomedical engineer. We are quite busy too. Lol

[Unknownguy2]

That is true. I have projects, exams, and homework for engineering classes back to back. It's a lot of studying and focus put into it. I would still put in a text unless he's depressed about it. Time will tell

[Asker]

No, he doesn’t have a demanding workload. He’s going for accounting and only had class twice a week for a few hours.

[Sephohim]

Yeah... Accounting is a joke in terms of workload, not to offend any accountants out there... If he doesn't have time to even talk to you. He doesn't deserve to have you think about him so much. My reaponse is for the typical likely situation. That doesn't mean its the right conclusion.
Honestly if your afraid to try and call him or to send another message just to say hi, thats not right either. Just call him, or message him. If he ignores missed calls or a repeated text, things become more evident. No matter how busy my schedule was as a chemical engineer, I always made time to talk to my girlfriend every night or send the odd text in the day

[the_esculater]

Why don't you try something different, like maybe calling him. Like, do you know if he's even alive? And when you call him, ask him about the stuff that he said he is busy with, school. You can also infer a lot from the tone of his voice.

[Asker]

That would be different. We never really call each other. And yeah, I would be able to infer things from his voice.

[Otaru2018]

Hmm what do you mean with seeing? Are you like friends hanging out or are you romantically interested on him? If maybe he is into you but he notices you are not that much interested he may be just going somewhere else... or he has noticed you are into him but he is not that into you so he is going away from you, that or he is actually busy but, come on, 1 min to say: Hey! Im sorry, Im still pretty busy but i will be free soon, hope you are fine!, Or... he is following one of those internet advices to make the girl you want miss you by stop contacting you that much (which seems that have worked on you lol) or he found another girl... and what about social networks has he been active since he didn't reply you?

[Asker]

We are romantic interests. Things were just starting to get more serious and then he started pulling away..

[Asker]

And yes, he’s been on Facebook.

[Otaru2018]

Well if he has been on facebook but didn't have time to reply your text... I guess you can imagine he is not that interested anymore... and I guess You shouldn't waste your time waiting for him or over thinking about the situation, if a guy is interested in a girl, he will make sure the girl knows, if he rather goes on facebook but doesn't take a min to reply your text there is not much interest on his side it seems...

[Asker]

That’s what I assumed. Thank you

[huckleberryhound]

If your last contact was about school work, inquire about that. It'll at least show interest in what he's going through.

[Asker]

Good point. I’m wondering if I should contact him though as well, since I haven’t heard from him my mind is telling me that he doesn’t want to talk to me.

[huckleberryhound]

And whats the worse that'll happen? He'll just not respond again, but then that should put your mind at ease, as at least you'll know you gave it all you could, one last shot.

[Asker]

That’s true. I guess it’s just another blow to my ego if he doesn’t reply again.. and I’ll be waiting for his reply.

[huckleberryhound]

Dont give it such a long time. Set a limit, 24 or 48 hrs, whatever you can live with, make it reasonable though. Its his loss if he doesn't respond, you're into it, and he isn't, so he's losing you, not the other way around. Your ego need not be affected.

[Asker]

Thank you so much ❤️

[huckleberryhound]

🙂 you're welcome, hope it helps

[Asker]

It does ☺️

[Anonymous]

''I text him Monday afternoon and he hasn’t replied''

''I was thinking of sending him a text...''

That is how most people think, and it's exactly where most people go wrong. The guy has not replied for whatever reason so the balls in his court. If you don't hear from him in a reasonable time, and nothing happened then it's safe to assume he's no longer interested.

Think about the definition of insanity and apply it to texting and relationships in general...

[Anonymous]

Think about a subject you wanna discuss, maybe plans for the weekend or something else fun. Most people won't be irritated even when they have no time, to discuss something fun/ or tell you that they're busy. If you go with the why haven't i heard from you?, or what have you been up too. It can be more annoying.

[DonKronik]

Just text him if u feel like it... if u don't feel like it then don't. Don't over think it and don't stress over it. if u want him.. try to get him back.. but it looks like he's distracted by something or someone... if my girl did that I can't really look at her as my girl no more. Of course u could always move on

[NotJoeDirt]

I am sure he has time to look at his phone to Facebook or surf the net. Even before bed he could. If he felt the same way you do, he would make time.

[Asker]

Yeah, I do see him on FB.

[vikas93]

Just give him a space... and concentrate on yourself for a while... what you are having in your mind if it meant to be it'll happen... soo go and live this moment take care

[JacobStrong56]

You have the right to be concern. If he hasn't replied for a while. Then it must mean he's either sick, something came up, he's more busy than ever, he's spending time with friends, it could be anything

[Anonymous]

Don't be clingy. Especially when you're dealing with men in school. We will get back to you when we can. In the meantime, go out, do things, get a life, basically

[Asker]

Yeah, I do have a life and that’s why I only messaged him once and not again after I didn’t get a reply.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, like I said, get a life, and he'll reply when he can

[Soimu]

Move over , like he did... or wait to sure about that :)

[Asker]

Move over?

[Soimu]

Yes, it seems you still try to realise that, but he is out of this picture, so yah you need to move over

[Nickson2]

I will go to the house of the person and see what is wrong with the person

[lesstalkmorefun]

nothing, he got bored and you went through all this effort to base your choice on a stranger's guess. ask him.

[enlightened]

Who knows? Sounds strange. Ask him

[Asker]

It is strange. People keep telling me to wait for him to contact me so it makes me confused.

[enlightened]

Well u can wait for 2 days more. If he doesn’t message u then something is wrong. Then u can ask him straight

[Tania_bilkis]

Maybe start with "hey! Its been a long time"

[fla173]

Wait for him to contact you

[mrlonghairluffy]

Just call or leave him alone

[sofaking]

I send people threats

[Asker]

Lol, like what?

[sofaking]

I mostly just dress up like a clown and hide in the backs of people's cars. Sometimes naked if it's warm out.

[Asker]

Okay, I’ll try that.

[Anonymous]

I don't do anything