How can I be okay with my boyfriend liking other girls’ pictures on Instagram?

Question

So I have a problem of not being okay when my boyfriend likes other girls’ pictures. I know it’s stupid and I should be fine with it. The pictures he likes aren’t even the worst: scenery pictures with girls in them, and selfies. The selfies aren’t even the super fake ones.

So how can I understand that when he likes other girls’ pictures, it’s not anything taken off from me?

So how can I understand that when he likes other girls’ pictures, it’s not anything taken off from me?

AlexSR · Accepted Answer

If I were in your shoes, I would have a problem with it, but that's just me. I would say it wouldn't be okay if you were okay with it, I get that in this day and age relationships aren't as black and white like they were years ago, but it all boils down to communication.

If you have a problem with it, tell him, how would he know you're not okay with it if you don't tell him.

And to all the people saying you're insecure or that you should just be okay with it: Everyone is insecure about something, even them, and I would think they're not the kind of people with a lot of empathy. I know I might be the only one to think this, but I would consider it cheating, but that's how I was raised. It shouldn't be right to actively look at pictures of other men or women if you're in a relationship, your relationship should be enough.

A relationship is all about compromise, If my girlfriend didn't like me seeing or talking to other girls (I have a mix of girl and guy friends) I would make sure to include her in any future get together of any kind and I wouldn't do anything alone with said people, and I would expect the same from her. If she didn't want me liking pictures with girls in them, then I wouldn't, but I would expect her not to like pictures with men in them, because then it would be a double standard.

If you want your boyfriend to stop what he's doing, then ASK him to stop, if he's a considerate boyfriend, he will take your feelings into account and stop, but you should then also not do anything similar to him.

Doing the same is not what I consider to be good relationship advice.

To end, It all depends on the kind of person you are, other people who are okay with it can't expect you to be okay with it, everyone grows up differently then others, so if you're okay with it, then by all means, let him continue. If you are not okay with it, then tell him how you feel. Nothing will ever be solved if you don't communicate.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I have tried to explain this to just about every woman I have ever been with!! Most think it is BS, and think I am just making up something like an 'excuse' to look at other women.
Somehow, they seem fine, looking at other guys, because I do not get jealous, seeing them looking, noticing.
OK, I DO look at other women, when I am out with my girlfriend. I only look at ones that catch my attention, either being totally stupid, and making a fool of themselves, or really, better, the ones that are wearing something that I think my girlfriend would look DELIGHTFUL, wearing!!
When I say "You would look AMAZING, wearing that" and pointing out the one, the usual response is angry, and "She's too skinny, so I am fat?" Or some other personal insecurity thing, totally missing the point!!!
It was supposed to be complimentary, like 'YOU WOULD LOOK GREAT, IN THAT!!" but turns into some jealous rage thing!! WTF?

Jes2020 · Accepted Answer

Usually (in my opinion) that’s only a problem if you think he might be, or be capable of doing more with another girl. I’ve always been jealous of things like this in all my relationships accept my current one. The only difference here is that I 100% believe my boyfriend would never cheat on me, he has stayed friends with the girls he was friends with before we began dating, and I’ve become friends with them as well. We all hang out, he likes their photos, I like their photos, their are photos of them hanging out, sometimes I go out with them to events, sometimes he goes without me. We had a talk early on in our relationship. I told him if he ever considered cheating on me, to break up with me before he did it, he didn’t have to give me a reason, just end it. I don’t know why exactly I trust him more then previous people I’ve dated, but I don’t believe that he should need to get rid of his friends (male or female) just because he is in a relationship. I’m going to trust him fully unless he proves me wrong.

Calixx · Accepted Answer

I used to be the same way. Honestly, your feelings are valid - don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! However, with my ex, it was a little different. He would like sexy photos of other girls, bikini pictures, and photos of random girls’ he didn’t even know. This would upset me SO much. I felt it was wrong to like those kinds of photos when dating someone -what is the point to do it? My ex would get mad when I’d mention, and I’d get upset he wasn’t listening to me. In the end, those likes amounted to more and he would cheat on me/flirt with those girls on social media behind my back! Now, I’m not saying all guys will do that - but their character will be apparent. As for your boyfriend liking photos, if it truly hurts your self-esteem, then talk to him about it. If they’re girls he knows and the photos aren’t sexy, then try and understand they’re his friends and it doesn’t mean anything. :) try talking to your boyfriend, maybe he can help you feel better :)

Kelly_aleksandra · Accepted Answer

Ahh I can so relate to you on this, I used to get crazy jealous at my man when I saw he liked other girls pictures, like I'd get so triggered. So tell him about it, like why do you have to like other girls pictures, are they nicer than I am etc. And then he says to me "I hit the like button because I follow them and they are my friends, also I think they do like nice but that does not mean they are nicer than you, compared to any girl I know or have met, you're better than all of them, if I felt attracted and impressed by others that would make me feel unfaithful and then I wouldn't choose to be with you" and then after that conversation that was another problem solved and left alone. Ofc I still get a little annoyed now and then but I always remember I am better than them, self love is also important, don't compare yourself to others! I hope this helps

lumos · Accepted Answer

Work on your own self-esteem, and maybe don't be such a masochist by checking which photos he likes, when that's clearly making you feel bad. Out of sight, out of mind. Do things that help boost your self-esteem (work out, buy clothes that fit and you think are cute, focus on your own hobbies and things you love etc).

coachTanthony · Answer

Liking other girls pictures that you can see he liked is super disrespectful. Now if he just likes a few friends okay but if he is liking a ton than HOUSTON we have a problem because he is looking for plan B. So which is it? Is he liking a ton or just a few here and there?

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly liking a pic on Instagram is nothing. Thirsty comments are something that would bother me. But liking a pic is just the purpose of the whole app. It’s like getting mad because your boyfriend goes to a porn site and doesn’t cover his eyes. The app is for people to share their pics and honestly I like stuff without even looking at them. Sometime they pop up on my feed and I like it, whether it be a half naked guy or girl or a dog or a picture of someone’s half eaten plate. I’m a like whore like most people are and you shouldn’t care cause I like doesn’t mean anything lol

Rijan · Answer

Looking at other girls and liking their pictures is nothing special. Both boys and girls do it even though they are in a relationship and its normal. Its human nature. But texting those same girls or talking to them might be a problem.

hulkster · Answer

That's to do with not feeling good enough for your boyfriend. By your boyfriend liking other girls pictures, you suddenly threatened that fact that these girls could take your man away from you.

Just cause your boyfriend likes other girls pictures on social media, doesn't mean he actually likes or wants sex with them. He just simply means these girls look good in the photos, or the photos that were taken are good.
When I was social media, I liked many girls pictures, but it didn't mean I liked them in that way, or I wanted to have sex with them. I just liked the photo, and I thought that picture of them was great, nothing more that. And sometimes I was fake, just liked their photos to keep them happy lol. But I am not on social media anymore

dawnm902 · Answer

Tell him how you feel but be prepared for a truthful response that you might not like. It’s ok to “like” pictures if you’re in a relationship. I mean, as long as they’re not nudes or explicit sex pics. But, talking with him is key. You’re allowed to feel how you do, but maybe he can reassure you. :)

pixiepie69 · Answer

The problem you face has nothing ro do with him, or the other girls. It's your insecurity and lack of self love. You need to believe that even though other girls are beautiful, SO ARE YOU, and can hold your own. If you dont have that belief in you, you will never find inner peace. You are not the only attractive person to exist in the world. Accept it.

Miristheiss · Answer

You don't have to. You need to live truth and have open, honest communication. If you don't like it and it gives you bad emotions than that is the truth, that is how you actually feel, react. It is ok to feel how you naturally feel and you can tell him honestly I feel bad when you do that.

He doesn't have to stop if he chooses not to but you don't have to like it. Dating is all about trying on each other and finding a good fit. Just because two people are dating it doesn't mean they are a good fit. This is something you two feel differently about, it's best to be as open and honest as possible. At the end of the day, if it is a big deal you two are always free to start shopping for new mates.

Geronimogmd · Answer

Just think as him doing them a small favor, liking their picture so they feel good about themselves for not being as pretty as you (his girlfriend who he choose above others) are to him. He's basically doing community service for free. I like pictures of girl I don't find atractive just to make them feel good. I like pictures of pretty girls just because I like the picture.

dannyuk · Answer

I'd say with this the question is why is he looking the pictures. What need does he have, what is he getting from it.
Maybe it's just because I'm older but if he knows that liking a girl's picture will upset you it seems out of order to do it. That's just not caring about your feelings.

I can't see any reason to like a girl's pic other then to let the girl know he likes her in hope of attention from her or doing it to upset you.
Either way that isn't good as far as I can see.

People here seem to be all over the fact you should be fine with it... Why?
He's doing something he doesn't have to do, that he gets nothing out of (hopefully) so why would he chose to do it and hurt you.

I dint believe the action is a big deal. I dint really see there's anything to be jealous of our worried about.
I don't see the action as the issue.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Women are designed to gain and maintain male attention. Therefore if something distracts that from themselves... it's a problem.

I'm not a chick so I really don't care. My chick says "oh la la" to Brad Pit and I'm like "whatever kunt, he wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole." For me the threat is when something is trying to fuck my woman. ... and that's the difference between the sexes.

Attention and sex... we both love it, but place different values on the two. What's great is they can cum (come) together.

You're female... yeah, your distress is from knowing attention that could be yours is going somewhere else. well?

Can you twerk? You sucking him off? Giggle titties? Shit woman, you're a woman, it's not rocket science on how to get a man's attention.

... At the same time though... wouldn't it be normal for him to still see and recognize better options? You do right? (Brad Pit) It's when they act on it that it become a real issue.

ikEVERYTHING · Answer

We are all humans and we all find other humans attractive, with them or not but you dont have to worry about it and dont try to be like the models they see online, we know they're models and full on photoshop on steroids, we will always love you, not the insta chicks

hunter206 · Answer

Okay, so he may have found the picture itself nice, not the woman/women in particular. I get the worry for him having interests in other women, but there comes a point where it comes off as territorial. You would have to learn to accept and know he cares for you.

What if the roles were reversed? What if he wasn't okay with you liking other men's pictures on Instagram?

Kookie00 · Answer

Just be confident in yourself. My boyfriend does it, and I make fun of him for it. I'll say something like "I saw you liking your little gfs picture on fb" in a joking way. Its just a picture. people find other people attractive, its human nature. As long as he's not talling to them, I wouldn't worry too much.

silver-jester · Answer

Honestly its OK to not feel fine with your partner likeing other girls photos. There yours and they should be valueing you over other girls. Its a valid feeling to get. But understand that just cuz guys and girls can look at someone else and we "like them" can be for reasons as simple as. "Wow they look awesome" to just "eh they look nice but whatever" (get what I mean?)

acooke-13 · Answer

I'd say its to do with your insecurities. I bet guys will like your photo, but don't message/flirt with you right? It'll be the same for him, if he's acting on anything that's when I'd be concerned.

witty-kitty · Answer

Why are all the gurls here bitter? Wow i guess we really are dramatic. Well when im in a relationship I unintentionally like guys pics but no second thought. I still love my boyfriend and still want him and stuff.

babymels333 · Answer

does liking instagram photos mean you are any less beautiful to him? i think not. this generation has a huge insecurity issue. it is human to have crushes and find others attractive. that’s literally a natural thing, my boyfriend has a huge crush on chantel jeffries i think its cute! i tease him about it actually! you have to trust your boyfriend, and work on your self esteem. he is with you for a reason. no one likes a jealous person. significant other or not.

Trisha13 · Answer

My boyfriend and I both believe that's disrespectful. He'd never do it and neither would I. Tell him how you feel, he should respect your feelings. It's not that hard to stop liking pics. Social media ruins relationships in my opinion

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Guys are liking your pics too. Do you think their flirting or hitting on you? You're just insecure and you don't trust your boyfriend :/

Anonymous · Answer

because you allow him to... that's the problem. You don't like it, because you allow him to. However, if you tell him to stop, that leads to being a controlling girlfriend, and well, noone wants that. So, you have to make a decision, stay with a guy who you don't like liking other girls pics, or, leave him

AnnaTheAnnaa · Answer

You already said it yourself: it's nothing personal. You already understand it, so just tell youself that every time you get jealous :)

PondyPand · Answer

Firstly, it's bloody Instagram. There's so many bikini shots I'd be surprised if a man didn't like them. Secondly, it's bloody INSTAGRAM. if that's where you put your trust and focus into in your relationship, it's pretty doomed. Social media shouldn't be so high up on people's agendas or cares. Seriously.

BeHappy1985 · Answer

Eh, just because people are in a relationship doesn't mean they loose sight. This isn't how it works. You can't just turn off attraction. The real question you should ask yourself is why isn't he at least hiding it to not hurt your feelings.

Anonymous · Answer

I hate how people tell you that your feelings don’t matter. It’s so enraging how, especially men, tell women that their feelings aren’t valid or that they should change who they are.

If you don’t like that your boyfriend likes other girl’s pictures, tell him. You don’t have to hide it just bc you think your feelings don’t matter. You should express what you feel without fear. and if he shuts you down, stand up to him. He’s dating you for you (or at least he SHOULD be dating you for you).

Hallbarrbarr · Answer

You should not be fine with it. And it is stupid. It is not fair to you. It’s degrading. And I’m sick of society thinking that women are the problem because their boyfriend is being disrespectful. I just dumped a guy for liking one girls photo. We were together. When he liked it. I expect someone more intelligent & less weak. So he had to go. And There’s no reason to have to click the like button. He’s already looking at it and quite frankly that’s disrespectful enough to you. He has to make it known. That he's seen it? And he likes it? And he’s permanently leaving his little name there forever? Naaah get rid of them.

Jjpayne · Answer

It's an art form. It depends on how likes them. If posts lol I'd sleep with you. I think we might have a problem but if he is just liking other girls pictures especially those he is not going to see in person. I kind of think it's a non issue. But if it is taking up time that you are spending together then I can see a problem. If that's the case tell him to put the phone down we every once in a while

Anonymous · Answer

It's disrespectful to you no matter how anyone tries to spin it. Has nothing to do with trust. How would he feel if you kept gawking at men online? I would ask him what's up with it. I'm so glad my boyfriend doesn't use any of those apps by his own choice cause that shit wouldn't fly with me

decent__devil_ · Answer

It's not what you thik. You're just protective bout him in a way and thats normal. You are jealous too. Remember one thing, he chose you over other girls so that makes you someone special and dear to him. Just trust him. And keep an eye on him😂, maybe other girl might snatch him away😂... Clear things with him, tell him how you feel and just trust him.

InTimoreDei · Answer

Why do you think you "should be fine with it" and think you're "stupid" for not being fine with it? It's highly disrespectful towards you. I would never do that when in a relationship. In fact, I don't go around liking girls' selfies anyway. There's no point in it and selfies are silly to me.

that_messy_guy · Answer

If you caught him fapping to one of them , then that's a problem But put some trust in him, it's all about that in a relationship, isn't it?

cathsummers · Answer

I personally don't find it okay. Why would he have to click the like button and make the girl aware he finds her attractive. Sure, guys will always see other women they're attracted to, but just think it in your head and keep scrolling outta respect goddamn.

LuWe22 · Answer

Your behaviour is unhealthy and you should improve like actually trust your SO

OHPOORBABY · Answer

Just remember that you're with him because he's a walking hard-on so take advantage of the fact that his DNA makes him want to fuck every girl that moves. When he's liking the pictures stop molesting him and say you are such a dog I should thank this girl for the hard on I'm going to take advantage of right now

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

The best thing you can do is let him know how you feel about it tell him that him liking other girls pictures on Instagram is upsetting you.

bubble_tea · Answer

How? With time and maturity really. All the tips you get won't work if you can't change your mindset that there are more important things in life to care about.

admles · Answer

You need to understand it doesn't mean anything and just get over it

BryanG_5021 · Answer

I don't think you can be OK with that because why would you?

Anonymous · Answer

Well you are lucky he isn't liking the naked ones or semi naked I think the fact you don't trust him is big. What if they are his friends pictures you can't know ALL his friends can you. Now you obviously like other people pictures but do you think it bothers him it's hypocritical. Me talking to you does not mean I like you and if he likes selfies it means he likes someone real and not fake so now you should talk to him

Alan69er · Answer

Don't feel uncomfortable with this, do you enjoy looking at other guys or girls, I think you should try to enjoy this for yourself

SarahsSummer · Answer

Work on your self confidence. That may be as simple as writing down your strengths to acknowledge them

HannaD · Answer

Just think of him as being polite. If you were at a party with him and a girl said something and he said, "That sounds cool," would it make you jealous? That's all a like means.

andygloucester · Answer

You should tell him this upsets you.. if he's a good guy he will stop it for you

2opaz · Answer

Only if they are provocative then you should be mad

Eleventy · Answer

Realize that it has no bearing on how he feels towards you or your and his relationship. It is quite literally just him liking pictures.

RoastedCharms · Answer

If he is loyal to you and trustworthy, then there is nothing to be afraid of. There are worse things to worry about than your boyfriend double tapping a picture. Keep life in perspective and this will be easier for you to overcome.

CandacePerry · Answer

It just a pic. just grow up. lest you luckily to get a gu alone without any girls touching him. i am date with my boyfriend his girl as friend always been mean to me but I will be stronger then them. Keep on my boyfriend every time.

Felicity_Smoak · Answer

Don't get why you think your reaction to this needs to change. Of course he will find other people attractive but he doesn't have to hit the like button - that is the equivalent of telling them that he's attracted to them. It is disrespectful to you

SirenDep · Answer

Ask him to go out with the group of people he hangs out, so that you get to know his friends, and be able to see for yourself how he interacts with the other women he knows in real life

Natalie11299 · Answer

It’s okay to feel a little jealous I guess. I get that way sometimes too.

coolgod · Answer

Well even I like other girls pics It's normal for boys to do so And if he loves u, u will know it, u don't have to worry a bit, unless he follows 1 girl a lot Good day

azzntittiz · Answer

Is he liking yours too? And interacting with you on there, or even posting you on his account?

Anonymous · Answer

Just talk to him about it. I am sure he is just liking the photos to like them. I do that all the time granted I am also in photography so it gives me insperration to look and like photos

kindredman · Answer

Because the practice probably preceded you and changing a man's habits such as these are possessive and insecure. Two sure things to decimate his affection. Nothing is more sexy than not caring and all girls need to care less about what "message" that sends to that girl. Those thirst traps would chew him up and spit him out and he secretly knows this. Just don't be a nag for small stuff. Save it

vishna · Answer

If they're friends, no biggie. However, if the girl is active on social media but NEVER likes his pictures back, I ask him to not to like hers b/c he's just a fan to her.

Snow_Phoenix · Answer

A typical behaviour of a guy. It should not matter if you love your boyfriend and have faith in him.

Jisoo_lover5683 · Answer

You like others males pictures so why shouldn’t he be able to.

KingKang · Answer

Why can't he like others pics... it might be that he just appreciates something.. why does it always have to be that he is liking the pics because he might wana talk with them.. chill.. its nothing... these are very trivial things... just ignore

heyzeuspiece · Answer

Maybe he’s liking their pics so that he can get likes back. Double tapping is just that. It’s when they’re flirting in the comments or in their DM’s, that’s when it’s an issue

Flike · Answer

I would say it's fair to get upset when he starts commenting on them. Just remember IG "likes" are cheap and pretty meaningless.

tiamat88 · Answer

Men are visual, we have a deep animal instinct. I would only worry if he starts talking to them. This is something that you're going to have to get over if you ever want to be happy in a relationship. It will happen forever

How can I be okay with my boyfriend liking other girls’ pictures on Instagram?

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Should I feel uncomfortable with my boyfriend liking other girls' pictures on instagram? Please help!

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