If my boyfriend wants me to do an abortion, it means he doesn't truly love me?

[Anonymous]

Been together for 2 years
But we are both not financially stable yet
He said its my choice to abort or keep.. but he would rather me to abort because we are not stable yet to raise a child which is true
Im not ready yet
But if he rather me to abort, doesn't this mean he doesn't truly love me?

True

False

[nnaomi]

I think he cares for you more than you think. He is thinking about the future of the child and also your future.
Raising the child would be difficult for you and the child might also suffer from it.
But the fact he is giving you the right to choose, I think that shows how much he loves you. He is willing to have a child with you if you choose so, and he is willing to take the responsibility for the child.

[Asker]

Yeah he didn't force me to abort
He told me its ultimately my choice.. he said if i choose to not abort, he won't leave

[nnaomi]

I think that shows how much he loves you. He is willing to stand by you whatever you choose and even life would get harder, he'd still be there.

[BrazilBabe]

I don’t think it means he doesn’t love you. A child is expensive but so is a pregnancy. You want to make sure you are financially stable for that. And trust me, that amount of stress on a relationship could easily break it so maybe he’s just trying to be logical and not create more stress than the two of you can handle right now

[AxlStahlmann]

I would say he does love you, but he also realizes the danger that you two might face financially if you go ahead with having a child. If you really don't want to abort it, talk to him and see if you two can make a game plan to make the process smoother.

[Dark93]

It means he does love you because he doesn't want you 2 to be put into a position where you're struggling day to day. He wants to build a sturdy foundation before bringing a child into the world.

[OlderAndWiser]

It is an indication of his feelings about your unborn baby and not his feelings about you.

[TheFacetiousCook]

If you truly believe that his action or choice of wanting an abortion due to the fact that you are not financially stable is him not loving you despite being with you for 2 years, you must be mental. He has gone into the logistics of your situation has figured out that bring me in another life to feed and take care of will put you guys in the ground either financially and can also put a hindrance on the relationship when y'all are fighting because there isn't enough money to go around. The majority of relationships that and isn't so much about the stress of new family it's the stress related to money so if you feel that the abortion because doesn't want to have a child with you at the moment means he doesn't love you then you need to figure out your priorities before anything else. Normally I say this is just a hypothetical and don't take it to heart, however you must definitely take this from the heart and think about your actions and words, because this can possibly have a negative effect not now or in a couple months but quite possibly a couple years

[KAF87]

No, look unless you are really religious it is very irresponsible to bring a child into the world when you do not have the money.

Children are very very expensive, and odds are he will loose the benefit of your income, at least for a time.

The fact is it's your choice, he does love you, he's just not ready to be a dad yet.

[KAF87]

I don't have any issue with adoption, in theory it is a great idea. That being said, in non-public health care a pregnancy can be expensive. Also even with free health care there are costs, time off work, prenatle vitamins, etc.

I'm not pro or against abortion, I am however pro choice. I feel that a woman has the right to make that choice not a government.

[KAF87]

What is a human life? When does it begin? When is it ok to prevent pregnancy or is it ever?
These are questions I can not answer.
Technically a woman is born with her gamete, each of these is a potential life, but they naturally get squandered. Men create there genetic material, it is both renewable and expireable, thus it to gets wasted.
So is prevention of the two materials combining wrong? If so both abstinence and contraception are equally wrong. Or perhaps it is only wrong once they are already combined, making plan B and the morning after pill wrong? Or are these just cells and not a person until X amount of weeks have passed? So when is the right week?

I can't answer the above, I think it is a personal moral and religious decision we each make. I am pro-choice and I do try not to judge.

No matter what decision the asker makes it will never be convenient, it will be a hard no matter what.

[KAF87]

@JustALonelySoul I respect your opinion, however I still disagree with you. Sperm and eggs are still alive, they also both have the potential of becoming a human. I'm not sure I would define a zygote as a person. Can a zygote think? Can it even feel? However it is alive.

It isn't up to me, it isn't up to an elected official, and it shouldn't be up to the majority, especially angry protestors.
I am pro-choice because I can see both sides of the argument and both make valid points.

At the end of the day this is still a choice the original asker has to make.

She should make an informed decision. She should NOT be pressured. It should be her choice.

[liniana265]

You've been together for 2years. No one in their right mind would not be with the same person for 2years if they did not love the other.
He is probably scared out of his mind as well. You two need to talk about this more and decide what to do for the sake of this baby. If you two are not ready to have a baby, then you should wait till you are.

[liniana265]

*would be with the same person

[shinensta]

Abortion is the sensible choice if you aren't ready to have a child but you have to decide ultimately if you are okay with abortion or not. It is irrelevant whether he loves you or not. He is thinking about whether you can be parents or not and he doesn't believe he is ready.

[littlebutswole]

he is acknowledging that it's your choice, showing that he cares about you and your opinions and feelings. he sounds like he cares a lot. some guys freak out and run off or demand an abortion or forbid it. but if you aren't financially stable i think that it shows more love for him to say that it may not be the best time to bring a child in the world even if you want to. some people don't love you enough to tell you straight up. it's just tough love. but i think he loves you

[Anonymous]

The decision to abort is not necessarily because of feelings for your partner. Take what he says at face value. He sounds like he prefers logic m, and is voicing what he feels is the most logical choice for the situation. If he tries to force you into the abortion, that is a sign of not caring.

[damoM]

A bit of pain now...

Vs having to delay your career and raise a child in poverty...

I think your boyfriend may just value your children more ths than you.

Which is a good thing.

Parents should be willing to sacrifice anything for their children

[MsMusic]

They should even be willing to sacrifice their conceived children for their unthought of children?

[damoM]

You're still young right? There's plenty of opportunities for you to have more. Right?

[jellyroo]

No, it means he has the reasoning that raising a child in your current situation would be unwise, and not the best for the child in question. He probably just wants a child that can be raised in stable conditions.

[Hurlyburly]

No, it means that he is mature enough to realize that both of you aren't financialy stabile enough yet to care for a child...

[Pizza_lover159]

True

[Nice222]

Having an abortion is a truly hard and personal decision. I would not say that he doesn’t love you at all. I think it is more that he cares about you as a couple and does not want to se you struggle financially or emotionally trying to provide for your child.

[funnychick101]

I'm sure he is just scared and not ready he did say it's your choice witch I do think means he does love you, however personally I know people who had abortions and every one of them wished they didn't even though they were not ready they all have said it messed them up and to never do it

[sam0017]

I think. Having baby is. Mutual choice. You can't plan for a baby on your own. If by chance it happened and onw of the partner is not stable enough for the relationship, then it can lead to several problems. But coming back to your problem. If you are pregnant by chance or intentionally, whatever maybe the case that doesn't matter. Then he should man up and take the responsibility of the child. No one in the world has the right to take away the life a developing baby inside a mother.

[ImagineSketchy]

A. It means he doesn't want the child because he doesn't want children at all. B. doesn't want children with you. C. Or is not prepared to have children at the current moment. If the answer is A, I'm sorry. He's not the one for you if you want children. If the answer is B, the same applies to the result of A, and you should definitely leave him because it sounds like he may not love you. If the answer is C then when he's ready, he will let you know.

[Ceramic_bloke]

How ok earth do you connect those two together?

You're not financially stable, he thinks the baby is a bad idea.
Because babies are expensive!

He's being responsible.

[Destiny2Love4Ever]

Don't abort the baby just because you don't have enough money or because you're afraid. You should keep it. Don't let your boyfriend pressure you into getting an abortion. In my opinion If a guy really loves a girl then he wouldn't want her to abort their baby.

[sodaslut]

yes lol he loves you. if he didn't he would have abandoned you along with the baby.

if you can't adopt, then abort. if not for the sake of a life, 3 lives will suffer including it. it could be life-long, or if not long term.

[LeeKenz]

I can see where he's coming from because neither of you are financially stable enough to care for a child. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. I mean if you don't want an abortion you can put the child up for adoption.

[TsubasaCorrupted]

It means he care about you and your futures enough to suggest it. If he didn't care, he would just leave or not help either way.

[PrettyRegular]

In many ways I'm kinda conservative but a child is a great responsibility. If you are not up for it, do an abortion.