Why do my feelings change when it seems like I should like him even more?

[BallerinaGirl]

I have a really great awesome boyfriend, but I keep finding myself attracted to this one other guy.

My boy friend is really nice, really good, wouldn't do anything I wouldn't want him to, and is always open and truthful to me. I REALLY want to love him. And sometimes I do. But my feelings keep changing. He is completely crazy about me and tells me often how much he loves me. And I always feel really bad because my feelings for him change. Sometimes the relationship feels more like a trap then anything else.

I really want to love him, why can't I? Why do my feelings always change? It seems like now the relationship is getting serious, I'm getting less attracted, BUT I really want to be attracted. What should I do? I don't want to hurt his feelings, he is crazy about me.

[The-Romanian]

Typical scenario.

I'll tell you why it's not working.

1.) Your boyfriend is too eager to please you, and tell you all the sweet nothings you want to hear. Rarely is there anything that goes wrong. And if he something does go wrong, he automatically takes it upon himself to apologize for it. Even if it wasn't his own doing.

2.) The reason you're attracted to this other guy because he is nothing like what your boyfriend is. He has a certain "pizsaz" to him to has you thinking about him when he should be popping into your head. Like times when you're with your boyfriend. And he isn't overly eager.

Tell him he needs to tone it down, and not to be so eager. As it is causing an issue.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

we'll the guy you speak of sounds like me and the girl you sound like seems like my ex. Best thing I could suggest is taking it slow. We rushed things so fast to where I guess it stressed her out and she gave out on me. Well if you want to love him then let it come to you. It's not going to happen if your heart isn't there.

[BallerinaGirl]

We have been best friends for about 10 years and have been dating about 3 months, So I REALLY don't want to lose him as a friend.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

See you have to understand that that's a risk before the relationship takes place because if you do want to breakup with him it might not be the same. I'm still a nice guy and want to be friends with my ex but I still hold resentment in my heart for her breaking up with me. It's only because she's been acting like a cold emotionless bitch though.

[Seraphine]

You can't force yourself to love him. It comes naturally. Maybe he's being too clingy and for some reason that's driving you off. Just remember though... Few are the guys who are truthful AND loyal to their gfs. Don't just make a decision you'll regret later. Don't lead him on either, though. If you aren't feeling it, you aren't feeling it.