When you love someone more than they deserve, surely they will hurt you more than you deserve?

[coachTanthony]

DISCLAIMER: "Not necessarily or not everyone" is not a great answer... I know this doesn't apply to everyone but for general purposes... do you think it's true or false.

True

False

Other (left my "awesome opinion" in the comments below}

see poll ( I can't answer this question because I am now triggered)

[OlderAndWiser]

This is one of those expressions like "it takes a village to raise a child" that, if you simply listen superficially, seems to embody the wisdom of the ages but if you think about it critically, it just falls apart.

Love is not something that I develop when I decide that someone has earned it or deserves it. I can tell you all of the great things about my woman, but I can't rationalize why I love her. I can't say that she "deserves" to be loved. And there are certainly people in this world - both sexes - who "deserve" to be loved but they don't have anyone in their life.

The second half of the expression is "hurt you more than you deserve." When most relationships fail, the couple is a mismatch that doesn't work and the failure is not based on some moral lapse or character defect. Both parties may end the relationship feeling hurt but neither of them "deserve" to feel hurt at all, but that is simply what happens when relationships fail.

So. . . no, I do not agree with the statement as a general rule.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[NineBreaker]

Nope. I disagree. Not whether or nor they will hurt you, but it's a question of whether or not you deserve to be hurt.

If you're being hurt for the first or maybe second time, I'd understand. However, there comes a point where you have to learn from your experiences. Otherwise, you are at least partly to blame.

[DorkVader]

If you love someone, you love them as much as you are capable. You can't withhold the quantity of love you have for that person. So loving someone more than they deserve is a given. People will hurt you if you invest enough of any emotion in them, but that's no reason not to love them.

This is presupposing they people in question are in some form of relationship, not some crush from afar nonsense, pining away, unrequited love deal.

[DorkVader]

Thanks for MHO!

[BlackRoseFairy]

It is true. Because you invest more in the person than they do.
More feelings, more time, more hope, more dreams... And the more you invest in a person the easier it gets for them to shatter it all and you will be left do deal with the broken pieces alone.

[BlackRoseFairy]

Thanks for MHO coach!

[Cynicaldreamer]

Very true... painfully true.
The ones we love or trust are usually (not always) the ones that wind up hurting us the most...

The problem is when you like or love someone, you'll do almost anything for them.

But if they don't feel the same, such as unrequited love, you're pouring all your emotions towards someone that barely acknowledges you. Leaving you bitter, spiteful, and sad.

... not that I'm speaking from personal experience of course.

[SydneySentinel]

I never know if I love someone more than they deserve until they no longer deserve my love.
So, I agree.

[Ally247]

I agree, the more you love someone, the more it makes you vulnerable and susceptible to being hurt. Loving someone itself comes with being hurt, but when you love someone more than they deserve, there's a reason why they may not be deserving of such love, which probably equates with how much they hurt you and how easily. Otherwise, everyone deserves to be loved.

[nella965]

And this is why its so important to pick a partner based off of character. So many people pick the wrong assholes to date just because they are cool, fun. But never considered the way they treat others. The way they mistreat others, may very well be the way they treat you one day. You better watch out.

[Creepazoid]

Not necessarily*** lol jk. Yes the more you are invested emotionally the more it will hurt when they wrong you.

[coachTanthony]

LOL..

[Dongtai]

Not necessarily. Not deserving as much as you’re receiving doesn’t necessarily mean you’re the type to hurt someone. I will say if you put that much energy into someone who doesn’t give you the same, you’ll hurt pretty bad regardless of if they treat you badly or not. If they dump you it’ll hurt as much as you loved them. It’s projection.

[Distants]

What defines “more than they deserve”? Is it really more than they deserve? They could love you more than you deserve right back. In this case if they loved you more than you deserved as well chances are they won’t intentionally hurt you more than you deserve.

[Lightning8]

If it's really love then their ego shouldn't get in the way of them communicating with you, at the very least for long. Therefore, if they do hurt you, they most likely wouldn't be opposed to helping you heal or making things right again when you express to them that they hurt you.

[Lightning8]

Abandonment certainly isn't love. Maybe it can be mercy, but I don't know of many if any situations at all where a genuine lover wants to and will choose to abondon the beloved

[Lightning8]

abandon*

[ChiTown33]

I'd say mostly true. It might not be as bad if you have a thick skin. But by loving them more you're signaling that you care more about them than they do you.

[Avicenna]

Definitely true. That's exactly what I experienced with She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. Really hurts.

[gothgirl997]

Truer words have never been spoken Coach..

[coachTanthony]

Awesome!

[funmaker]

However the love must be unconditional and passionately but if the balance disturbs it will happen as you mentioned

[Zlatan15]

Yes, it is absolutely true. Because when you love someone more than they deserve then you start expecting more than normal and when the expectations are not meant then you get hurt more than normal.

[Poppykate]

Life is so very short! Love wholeheartedly!

[YHL6965]

Loving more than you are loved is bound to hurt you.

[jimmy2]

I dont think that true if you love someone more yhan than they deserve than they should love you back the same. If they dont that the rist one takes

[Nyx080]

Feels that way at times. It is the worst when your love and loyalty isn't being returned.

[Anonymous]

No one deserves to be loved. So if you love anyone at all you will get hurt. Ergo do not love.

[i_am_tbjxii]

I believe that’s true been there with my ex

[pigoat]

Wow a landslide poll

Very boring

[Begging4giggles]

Straight up.