Infatuation is one of the most powerful feelings we can experience. It's sexual. Our senses are flooded with all kinds of euphoric chemicals. You can't get enough of each other. You just want to merge with that person.
But infatuation has a honeymoon period. It eventually starts wearing off. You stop idealizing that person as the most perfect creature who ever lived and you start seeing them as a human being. You decide that you love and admire them despite their habits, idiosyncrasies, faults and attitudes.
At that point, you work on maintaining and strengthening a healthy, happy relationship.
You can keep the excitement of infatuation alive but things change. You're now into real, everyday life, not the brain chemical euphoria and storybook fantasy of initial romance. Your sole focus is no longer on sex but on the welfare and happiness of your partner. That kind of love grows and grows.
However, sex between a man and a woman is an important bond. Keeping that excitement alive requires playfulness. It's not like you are just two people living together. You celebrate the difference between male and female. It's one of the mysteries of creation that makes a person feel joy, awe and appreciation to be alive.
You got exactly what I meant šš but of course you did! šš
I'd say sex, because people who get separated later on have a really hard time starting their life on their own. That can't be because of the already low amount of sex they were most likely having, but because of the attachment that was built during the relationship. I think when you stay with someone for so long, you definitely love them in one way or the other (some people love in very strange, different ways, but it's still love in the end)
Nice answer šI agree the feeling of love Matt change but it's still love
Might not Matt
Matt Damon! Just kidding. I understood :) And thanks
š right stupid phone.. Every time I try type just it sends Judy instead... If I had dollar for Everytime someone asks who Judy is š
Ha ha ha!
@Brainsbeforebeauty. Lol ahh, you must also have a Samsung?šš
@Sir_Glance_A_Lot hahahaha yep šš
Lol as soon as you said Judy for just, I knew it must have been... I know the feeling lolš
@Sir_Glance_A_Lot oh you know Judy too šš
Lol yes, let's just say our relationship is somewhat "complicated"...
For me it tends to be the love and romance. I'm overall a busy person and if I'm dating an equally busy person, and we both get caught up with our personal lives to not make an effort in keeping the romance between us - that beginning honeymoon dating phase... will begin to fade where I'll be feeling a disconnect.
The physical attraction and sex can still be good, but if there's a loss for love, it won't have that deep emotional connection that I crave.
Thank you. At least you get what I mean. Guess I didn't make it clear enough. But then you got it, so maybe it's just great minds lol or people who've never had that, maybe that's why they don't get it š¤·š¼āāļø
Haha your welcome! It was pretty clear to me what you meant. But then again, people will misinterpret or read into questions differently based on their personal experiences. I may be a young one still, but I've gone through and processed a bit, so maybe that's why I understood you š
That way age is just a #, well till you get my age and it gets to your bones well and memory š
Thanks šš
The romance is gone when the love leaves. The passion is what is gone when the sex leaves. Maybe I'm not understand this question fully. It's a bit confusing as of what your asking
You can have sex without the pain or romance of it, same as you can still love someone but it might not feel the same as the romantic "in love" feeling, if you get what I mean
Opinion
24Opinion
Love... the guys usually not all loses the love bc they get comfy with the relationship that they think they don't need to impress their girl or guy anymore bc they got them and so love is just tossed in the background. Me i am a very romantic girl, so i end up getting hurt always bc i expect a real man to tell me he loves me each day, and not just at the beginning of the relationship then does it at his convenient whenever he wants and which in my experience its been after 2 months the honey moon is over.
ššš
Iām not big on romance. I prefer daily kindness, honesty and commitment to the relationship.
Those are the ones that last ššš
The love itself, in my opinion. Since it's the origin of the romance which leads to sex.
When the whirlwind does down and real life sets in. I don't think the life disappears, but it can definitely change
*love not life
Love is a wide concept for many types of connection.. maybe it doesn't change but it evolves
actually each thing begins to feel lacking, but the first thing to go is talking with each other, then lack of interest in each other and what things you used to do together sexual and non-sexual things begin to start to fade... then communication about even little things and then important things start failing, you then find that you begin have sex or do things out of habit... not out of want or desire... and when that feels lacking and you can't be bothered to work towards the why and try and heal your relationship that is when you know it's over...
This was great answer and so true
Well can take that experience and put it to use in the next relationship..
ššš
I don't know. I think it can be either. In my marriage, as far as I can tell, the problems started with sex then spilled over to other areas. I feel like everyone says 'oh if the love/romance side is there the sex follows' so I was probing back then for my partner being dissatisfied in other areas, but she swore absolutely not and seemed offended i'd even consider it. It was just about sex. Which she had no desire to fix, in fact things just got worse and worse and eventually spilled over into other areas.
I don't think that's so unusual, but the other (emotional side dies first) is also not unusual.
That's a good question... I'd say the romance because that's part of the honeymoon period. Where you both are trying to court each other. When you get married you settle down into normal life and romance can just get forgotten and replaced with life
Great answer, but in what areas do you think the romance dies first sex or love?
I agree
I believe Men want more Sex in a Relationship and the Woman wants things as they are I would never leave a Woman just cause we didn't have Sex that much I like Real Love which means the most to me.
Nice answer
@Brainsbeforebeauty Thank You :)
ššš
Interesting one to ponder on here... I've always thought of romance and love as a pairing more so than romance and sex. Sexual urges can be physically satisfied with your partner without any romance (of course can be done in a romantic context too - making it even better) - but I think if it's a long term relationship, doing things romantically is done so out of love... not to get in her pants :)
I think love, unless your partners not very good in bed I would think they would still want to have sex even if they weren't in love.
I don't necessarily mean the love would be gone, it more calms down from that "honeymoon" phase as one user put it
But I think that maybe a fault in our language there's so many different levels of love when people first fall "In love" it's attached with some amount of infatuation and/or lust... Sure there's real love there too but when that first part wears off then it's not the "I can't stand to think about anything but you" type love anymore.
Which is the point both of them should add a little spice to their marriage try to make the other one feel like they are special fingernail start getting that back but that's the long-term love that makes a marriage work you're my friend I love you I want to make this work for us and the people around us that's real love
Exactly!!
Well since sex literally factors in no way into romance for me. Like yes it can be romantic but i mean in i don't need sex to love someone. Love would have to be lost for the romance to be gone if that makes sense. So love. Lust and sex is whole other thing that i would never really lose if i found someone hot.
Oh I agree with that... Love at first sight is usually lust at first sight
Stupid is as stupid does š¤·š¼āāļøš
Sadly tho not everyone does or by the time they do, it's too late...
If a guy cums with the same girl more than 3 times a week.
He won't love her by the end of the year haha
Its scientific and has been studied. The more a woman puts out, the less the man wants her. Each time it widdles away the pairbonding signals and hormones in the men.
Really? Can you elaborate? I noticed it in my boyfriend. When I put him on sex bans, he is much better to me, more open and romantic, caring and loving etc. The more sex we have, the less I see his āgoodā side.
@GiselleBababy So humans have pair-bonding hormones. So when you hold hands, look into some ones eyes, and kiss or hug, it sends out those hormones and makes people fall in love.
When men have sex, their brains get flooded with signals that sort override those pair-bonding hormones. Its natural.
However, if he keeps flooding his brain, with those sex hormones, it begins weakening the ability for him to pair-bond! His brain becomes less receptive to those hormones.
I would have to disagree with this idea. I've lived with several women in my life, and using one as an example - I loved her dearly, we had sex daily, except on period days of course. Sometimes we had sex multiple times a day. We lived together for 3 years, and it never got old for either of us. We were personally incompatible, and breaking up was tough for both of us, but that sex and romance NEVER even one inch. I would argue that romantic / passionate sex keeps relationships alive and that lack of intimate sex is what kills relationships.
@BeenThereLovedIt lmao bro your relationship didn't work šš
Sex feels good in the moment. It's what happens outside those intimate times. Those intimate moments spill over to other aspects of couples. You can't separate things. It's all connected.
In the end only one relationship (if you are lucky) ever works, and death did you part, right?
It's a lopsided point of view, as we date frequently throughout our lives and aren't really monogamous by nature. I think you are figuratively trying to take two puzzle pieces that don't fit and force them together. I'm not even sure those two pieces are from the same puzzle.
@BeenThereLovedIt I am telling you bro. We are monogamous by nature, because we are one of the few mamals with the ability to pair-bond. but if we cum all over our girlfriends every week, we become polygamous, because we destroy our receptors to those hormones (For pairbonding)
By abstaining more, and building sexual tension, relationships can last a really long time. They practiced this all over the world, and monks both Christian and Daoist both understood this.
Science also supports my claim. Its the dopamine receptors in the brain, makes us addicted to sex and further stimulus. Its like pot-heads who buy different strains of weed. Its the same, but with women. But if someone smokes pot once a week or even once every 2 weeks, he won't feel the need to try new highs.
Or even with food. That first slice of pizza is delicious. but eat the whole pie and you won't want pizza for a while.
All of the studies I've read have statements in them like these:
"It SUGGESTS, in PART..."
"In THEORY..." (not scientific)
"Humans CAN experience SOME..."
Those aren't factual statements, those are guesses by people who routinely pull facts out of their asses (psychologists / psychiatrists) rather than admit they don't really know the reasons why people are the way they are. I give them credit for trying to understand, but we simply don't have the knowledge or technology to make those judgments with any degree of certainty. I also argue that humans are not naturally monogamous, and find the industry arguments that we are to be flawed and biased. We should probably agree to disagree as I don't have the time or care enough to spend all day looking up studies and dissecting them
@BeenThereLovedIt People have the ability to pair bond. If we werent prone to monogamy why would we have that ability? Also monogamy is optimal for humans. So who cares if its natural to want fuck every woman we see if it won't lead to successful offspring?
You have too much sex bro, it turned you into a coomer. You can't keep a girl for more than a few years so you blame it on nature and not yourself. Its you bro. Overcome nature, thats why God made men. You are above your impulses.
Oh I get it, you are one of those anti-sex crusaders. No thanks, not interested in what you are selling. have a good day sir.
No idea, maybe sex, if the initial frequency of sex is more.
What if both fades away equally?
Something to try to work on and rebuild
What's your opinion?
I would probably say the love
I thought it was opposite.
Love becomes more realistic and less romantic
Yeah, the sky is not always clear
True true
Just when I realize she is TOO different, and I absolutely cannot be Vegan!!!
I think that in most relationships, the excitement of sex fades the fastest.
Neither, you can love someone, and not be interested in sex, and you can screw people that you thoroughly detest.
I would say sex bc its one of the basic instincts. if you have to make up excuses for not wanting etc what else are you making excuses for?
Love because couples usually fall out of love and lose communication and communication combined with love is key
The romantic sex always seems to die first, and in many scenarios I've lived through, the love usually follows - often because the sex died. Seems like a pretty straight-forward progression.
You don't have sex if you lost the love you always go for another person , thought of not being with that particular person make you peacefully there you can see you lost the love in that relationship , and sex fades away later
Said lose the romance of it not the love itself,
A woman wouldn't be able to handle my sex drive, she'd be ruined.
Love because it's first to build.
I think it's just that we let real life and schedules let us forget to make time for romance
Probably sex is first to go
I don't mean first to go... Mean the feeling of it changes less romantic more just going through the motions type thing
Yeah everything gets complacent and the honeymoon phase is over so love and start to fade it seems
For me... both...🤣🤣🤣
Then you were with the wrong one
Duh...šš¤£š¤£š¤£
definitely the loss of romantic feelings
Unfortunately these things tend to occur at the same time.
If you're doing it right, neither.
A combination of both is the most likely
I would say the sex does.
I don't understand. What do you mean?
When the thrill lessons or settle into more pattern, what losers the romance first? The sex or the "love"
I still don't get it. How can love lose romance? If you have no romance, then where is the love?
Why would love lose?
Disrespect
Said lose the romance of it not the love itself
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